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kat_ross
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11 Apr 2011, 7:36 pm

I was on my way home from my anatomy class tonight, where we had dissected sheep brains. I mentioned that I didn't have gloves, so I probably got a little formaldehyde (or whatever type of preservative they use) on my hands. My dad says, "you should stick your fingers in your mouth and give yourself another inoculation."
He knows that it absolutely breaks my heart that he is unwilling to accept my AS/the fact that it comes from his side of the family. And he still has the nerve to make a joke like this. I held my tongue though and didn't start a fight.



Phonic
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11 Apr 2011, 7:40 pm

I'm having similar issues, consider how long this has being going on, if your AS is a new thing to him then maybe it will pass as the shick goes away, if this has been long term and you've tried to talk about it then perhaps it would be better if you just accept it, since he clearly wont.

Tough i know, it's actually something of an aspie thing he's doing,


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sufi
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11 Apr 2011, 8:20 pm

Yup, that was a jerky thing to say.
Glad you did not start anything as you can not change someone else and he obviously can not censor himself.


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Peko
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11 Apr 2011, 9:40 pm

Ignore him or tell him to shut up.


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Titangeek
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11 Apr 2011, 10:40 pm

I salute you for holding your tongue , i cannot say i would have done the same :salut:


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kat_ross
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11 Apr 2011, 11:31 pm

thank you everyone



wefunction
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11 Apr 2011, 11:49 pm

I would have been confused by the comment and forced him to painfully explain it until he realized it was an idiotic thing to say that's not worth the exhaustive explanation it requires.



Callista
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12 Apr 2011, 1:32 am

Yep, he's a jerk.

But talk to your teacher about buying some gloves for the class. That stuff isn't good to expose yourself to, and a couple boxes of gloves really aren't that expensive. I should know; I've come home from anatomy lab with more than one formaldehyde headache.


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kat_ross
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12 Apr 2011, 1:51 am

Gloves are actually available in class, but the teacher forgot to get them out until after most people had already started the dissection. So I will definitely wear some next time :)



bigbadbeast2007
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12 Apr 2011, 2:14 am

diss own him!



CockneyRebel
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12 Apr 2011, 5:46 am

Next time he says that, tell him to shut up.


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wavefreak58
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12 Apr 2011, 8:30 am

Ouch.

Kudos on the self control.

My sarcasm would have had me say something like "too bad I can't get inoculated against jerks"


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JeremyNJ1984
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12 Apr 2011, 8:42 am

Its easy to say that yeah you did the right thing by not responding and biting your tongue at the comment....but the other part of me is thinking that if you didn't stand up for yourself than, it leaves the door wide open for him to say a possibly crueler malicious comment in the future because he sees you as passive. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, something I have learned painfully over the years myself.



wavefreak58
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12 Apr 2011, 8:45 am

JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Its easy to say that yeah you did the right thing by not responding and biting your tongue at the comment....but the other part of me is thinking that if you didn't stand up for yourself than, it leaves the door wide open for him to say a possibly crueler malicious comment in the future because he sees you as passive. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, something I have learned painfully over the years myself.


The hard part is knowing when to push back and when to hold your tongue. Seeing that we autistics have trouble with social cues, often it is a roll of the dice. May as well chose randomly if you can't figure out what to do by reading the non-verbal communication.


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JeremyNJ1984
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12 Apr 2011, 8:50 am

wavefreak58 wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Its easy to say that yeah you did the right thing by not responding and biting your tongue at the comment....but the other part of me is thinking that if you didn't stand up for yourself than, it leaves the door wide open for him to say a possibly crueler malicious comment in the future because he sees you as passive. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, something I have learned painfully over the years myself.


The hard part is knowing when to push back and when to hold your tongue. Seeing that we autistics have trouble with social cues, often it is a roll of the dice. May as well chose randomly if you can't figure out what to do by reading the non-verbal communication.


Yes..just the act of responding to the comment is hard..and I have learned because I used to do that when it came to family, that the painful comments dont go away..they just build up and eventually boil over. As someone who would keep his cool, it works short-term, but over the long term it is not healthy at all, and eventually for your sake and self esteem the very act of standing up for yourself is worth it in the end.



Starlight-Supernova
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12 Apr 2011, 9:56 am

My dad always tries to upset/annoy me, he reckons it's preparing me for the outside world but I normally feel like it's his personality as he seems to annoy my mum and my brother a lot too...

Maybe it's a condition I dunno...

Anyway, just do any of the following:

Hit him and state that you can't help it (play on it to annoy him back).
Say something he'll probably not understand thereby insulting his intelligence.

or just ignore him and get your own back in the future.

Seems to work for me.