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cberg
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12 Jun 2017, 8:35 pm

Funny, just the other day I was pondering the concept of unscripted deprogramming. I think peoples' minds naturally pick one another up & so I focus on making that happen.


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Last edited by cberg on 12 Jun 2017, 8:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

cberg
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12 Jun 2017, 8:43 pm

Empathy wrote:
Does a real man need to question his libido nightly, or is he mulling over a very long and dull lifestyle with zero benefits and only zero hourly contracts until the big cheques roll in?
I'm just wondering as this guy has got big reason to know he's in the money and whilst flaunting it around might be a stratedgy for attracting women, also a few gold-diggars might be lurking.
Is cheerful conversation the only way to cheer up whats left of a deflated dilemma or is there another way to satisfy a mans die hard ego?


I think open space, thrills & time with loved ones & the natural world does the trick for anyone.


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12 Jun 2017, 9:10 pm

I don't think I'd like that...but can't say no other aspies would like that kind of thing, but for me casual sex outside a romantic relationship isn't all that appealing. Of course I have had it happen by mistake, like jumping into having sex with a guy only to have them tell me after a few times they don't want anything long-term whereas I was looking for a relationship. But that's all behind me since I'm in a LTR now and yeah I find sex within that more enjoyable...than the idea of casual sex with various people or having a partner just for sex but not in a relationship with them.


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cberg
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13 Jun 2017, 1:42 am

:oops: :lol: I was kind of trying to write around that - I'm a lot more shy than girls say I should be & nevertheless I'm thankful for great company to say the least. I don't worry much about flightiness & tough workloads normally because there's no reason I see for facts of life to bork great weekwnd plans.


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Sabreclaw
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13 Jun 2017, 12:52 pm

I have absolutely no interest in the idea of no-strings-attached sex. Sex without strings seems like a waste of everybody's time; for me there has to be an emotional connection.



Empathy
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13 Jun 2017, 3:34 pm

cberg wrote:

I think open space, thrills & time with loved ones & the natural world does the trick for anyone.


Funny, I think the friends with benefits lifestyle is great for two people living off love and fresh air, but when that final truth hits home that really, we're all just tip-toeing and backfiring around each other, where's the fun in that?



cberg
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13 Jun 2017, 3:40 pm

Well that's part of why I'm not into casual sex either; tiptoeing is optional but backfiring is inevitability so as I was saying my priority is continuity & more good times, not nitpicking on what we do with those.


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awkward facepalm
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13 Jun 2017, 4:05 pm

lol wut? is this real life?

i think this is a dirty fantasie not exist in reality among normal?

when people are too horny,,, logic fails!



Last edited by awkward facepalm on 13 Jun 2017, 4:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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13 Jun 2017, 4:07 pm

cberg wrote:
Well that's part of why I'm not into casual sex either;I was saying my priority is continuity & more good times, not nitpicking on what we do with those.


Who are you referring to though? the good times continue to outweigh the bad?, yada yada yada.
Its got to be more realistic to accept your potential date as someone yes, but also not like a piece of meat, but that eventually, those benefits may fall into the third zone risk cateogory all the same.
What usually churns behind are poor understanding of the other and tying to change them to fit your ideal.
Women are more prone to unfortunate abuse from men than their own sex because men are shaped to correspond to duty, far better than women with any ounce of integrity sewn into them from birth.



cberg
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13 Jun 2017, 4:24 pm

Yeah life's not necessarily easy but I'm thankful constantly. I absolutely did not say any of that. Nor am I here to describe anybody; only to learn. If learning or understanding makes me a weird guy why not say so?


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"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


cberg
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13 Jun 2017, 4:24 pm

awkward facepalm wrote:
lol wut? is this real life?

i think this is a dirty fantasie not exist in reality among normal?

when people are too horny,,, logic fails!


Pretty much.


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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


JoeNavy
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14 Jun 2017, 8:50 am

I can understand why anyone with a sex drive might find having a sex friend appealing. Personally, the all or nothing relationship is what makes my life worth living. I have only limited experience in casual sexual relationships though. Contrary to popular myth, sailors don't really have a woman in every port. Well, at least I didn't. I only had 3 sexually active relationships in my life. My first was a friend, and she never meant for anything more than sex and she was honest with me about it so I decided to give it a shot (no pun intended). One was a relatively short term relationship in which our paths crossed but neither of us was truly willing to change the direction that our life was going (selfish of me, I know) she told me she loved me, but I could not honestly say the same even though I liked her and cared about her. I waited for my wife (or she waited for me) for quite a while even after we knew that we were permanent, even though neither of us was a virgin, it just felt right. It was worth the wait as the emotional attachment and desire to please her, made lovemaking far more profound and ecstatic than simple sex could ever be.


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MissxVenomxPoison
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14 Jun 2017, 9:14 pm

Solvejg wrote:
i have done this in the past. It is better then trying to trick someone into a relationship when one is not desired.


I had a former "friend" lead me on and then dump me after I gave him a blowjob.



awkward facepalm
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14 Jun 2017, 9:46 pm

MissxVenomxPoison wrote:
I had a former "friend" lead me on and then dump me after I gave him a blowjob.


Image



MissxVenomxPoison
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14 Jun 2017, 10:27 pm

awkward facepalm wrote:
MissxVenomxPoison wrote:
I had a former "friend" lead me on and then dump me after I gave him a blowjob.


Image


In other words the douchebag tricked me into a relationship and then dumped me. Same idiot tricked me again two months later then told me "I forgot I am already dating someone" TWO f*****g DAYS LATER after I fell for it the second time. I was incredibly livid with him.



wiztrader
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15 Jun 2017, 7:52 am

I am not sure its a trend, "friends with benefits (FWB)" has been around for quite a while. That being said having FWBs was magical for me. (I say was as I am married now). I am pretty bad at relationships especially the communication part which is pretty much critical. Couple that with it can just get overwhelming especially when a partner has needs that you cant meet. Sex became the primary way I related to the opposite sex. I could express myself physically to someone else, which was generally appreciated, without talking too much. FWBs can be very healthy esp for someone like me that has spectrum challenges. The terms are defined up front and everyone is honest about what they want, the contact is of limited duration, no messy emotions that get in the way, and its a lighthearted but intimate way to relate to others.