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iheartmegahitt
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02 Jun 2011, 5:08 pm

Do you ever try to understand that when they joke around its just for fun? I do since some of my friends are NT and they joke around a lot. I try to understand they are joking but sometimes I find it hard because it depends on what they are doing. For example, doing things to say, my Axel plushie, when they really aren't in real life... it will bother me because my Axel plushie is so dear to me.

SO, do you ever try to make sense of NTs joking around when you are hanging out with them? (if say you actually have NT friends) It can be hard for me even as hard as I try...


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Tippyswivjacksn
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02 Jun 2011, 5:24 pm

I used to have that problem where I didn't understand any of that, but then I decided that I'd take part in the joking around by making jokes myself, I'd have my own jokes about things I understood, and they made me laugh, and pretty soon, they made my NT friends laugh too, so once you start joking around you'll find it's easier to joke around with them and understand what they are doing.



iheartmegahitt
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02 Jun 2011, 5:33 pm

That's what I usually try to do but whenever I do try, my brain goes into a lockdown and I'm sitting there without any idea what to say, how to react or what to even do. It's quite bothersome. I mean my NT friends joke around every single day so you can see why I distance from them so much.


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Tippyswivjacksn
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02 Jun 2011, 5:45 pm

The reason your brain locks down is because you are scared. Your brain is going into self protection mode because your first impulses are telling you that you are too scared. The thing is, you're scared of these NT's I used to be too. You have to remind yourself that your friends are your friends, and they are nothing to be scared of. Your friends are hanging around with you because they know you're great. They know there are so many awesome things about you.

You are afraid that your joke is going to strike out with them, that you might do it wrong and they will not understand you, or they won't think it's funny, and some jokes that I come up with aren't funny to others but they are to me but that's okay!

If it helps, you can tell me what they joke about and I can help you figure out what it means :D



Tippyswivjacksn
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02 Jun 2011, 5:49 pm

Oh and you're going to have to tell me what you're Axel plushie is because I don't know what you mean when you talk about that :)



iheartmegahitt
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02 Jun 2011, 5:55 pm

Tippyswivjacksn wrote:
The reason your brain locks down is because you are scared. Your brain is going into self protection mode because your first impulses are telling you that you are too scared. The thing is, you're scared of these NT's I used to be too. You have to remind yourself that your friends are your friends, and they are nothing to be scared of. Your friends are hanging around with you because they know you're great. They know there are so many awesome things about you.

You are afraid that your joke is going to strike out with them, that you might do it wrong and they will not understand you, or they won't think it's funny, and some jokes that I come up with aren't funny to others but they are to me but that's okay!

If it helps, you can tell me what they joke about and I can help you figure out what it means :D


I don;t know if its so much me being scared... my brain has trouble processing information like this so it becomes more of a challenge. My mind shuts down because it doesn't know what to do.

Also, this is Axel: http://i819.photobucket.com/albums/zz11 ... 67877e.jpg He is my comfort object I carry around with me everywhere. Without him, I am more prone to freaking out and melting down... so as long he is in my arms, I feel more calm and less anxious in tough situations I'm not used to.


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League_Girl
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02 Jun 2011, 6:22 pm

I used to get upset with jokes like kids do stuff and then go 'I am just joking" but I didn't know what a joke was.

One time my best friend Stephanie kept acting like she was going to turn off the video game I was playing and I get mad at her and she go 'I am just joking.' Honestly I don't think those jokes are cool and they are just annoying. Doing it once is fine but doing it constantly is just annoying.



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02 Jun 2011, 8:14 pm

I've found that its best to not take most things people say seriously. My friends threaten me and my stuff all the time, but they never really mean it. Just remember that if they're threatening your stuff, and they really are your friends, then they are just kidding. :)



iheartmegahitt
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02 Jun 2011, 8:45 pm

League_Girl wrote:
I used to get upset with jokes like kids do stuff and then go 'I am just joking" but I didn't know what a joke was.

One time my best friend Stephanie kept acting like she was going to turn off the video game I was playing and I get mad at her and she go 'I am just joking.' Honestly I don't think those jokes are cool and they are just annoying. Doing it once is fine but doing it constantly is just annoying.


Yeah, that's the kind of things my friends do. They will say something similiar to this and then say, "j/k" and I just kind of ignore it. I don't get why NTs do this. I admit I am do this but only because well... how else can I really fit in? But it seems like NTs do this kind of joking a lot and I try to understand, sometimes I do and other times I don't.


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SyphonFilter
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02 Jun 2011, 10:41 pm

I used to have a hard time determining if NT's were joking or not. At times, I still find it hard to know whether to take a comment seriously or not. For the most part I assume people are joking.



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03 Jun 2011, 2:57 am

I like the NT joking around once I began to understand it a lot better. I had a crash course in getting NT jokes when my 3 of my friends would take things to the extreme. They'd make up outrageous stories and then they'd later say they were just kidding and many NT's didnt always know when they were kidding. After hanging around with them for a long time, you could kinda start to tell when they were kidding but it was still tricky. I joke around a lot with certain friends, its fun when u get into it.



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03 Jun 2011, 4:54 pm

I get sarcasm, but I don't get jokes. They're too many shades of subtle WTFness. :roll:

Do they know you're Aspie? If they do, you can always say 'I don't get it'. There isn't a whole lot else you can do, though.

(BTW, that is the cutest plushie EVER. <3)


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MyDogSasha
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03 Jun 2011, 8:31 pm

yeah i dont get jokes alot....i dont even get how there jokes...

like my brother always "jokes" about my dog.....saying stuff like maybe shes dieing or that im tortering her when i put on her leash....i dont get it....

but theres alot of stuff im not gonna get in this world...just gotta get used to it. i used to get mad/upset know i now its a joke....just dont get how/why



Darin
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04 Jun 2011, 4:02 am

I'm an NT, who has only ever spoken to one autistic person( a close family friends son) I guess the thing to remember is if you feel uncomfortable around it, feel free to say something. Joking around is a good social activity/excersize and it should be enjoyed. We want to hear what you have to say, funny or not!



Joe90
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04 Jun 2011, 11:29 am

I'm pretty good with telling whether someone's joking or not. But even if somebody is joking, it still may not always be appropriate to the circumstances to how someone is feeling.
Like a few weeks ago at work, somebody left a rubbish bag right in the middle of the floor, and nobody knew who it was, so a man who works there blamed a woman who works there (and the woman always made a mess all the time and sometimes got a bit apologetic about it, since she didn't always mean to make a mess). When the woman was told that it was probably her, she got upset. So the man said, ''it was only a joke!'' But secretly I thought to myself that whether it was a joke or not - it still was a bit petty of them to joke about this woman, because I really knew that it wasn't her who put the rubbish bag there, and because she was ashamed of her little habit of making a mess (and everyone at work does know that she gets ashamed), I thought that that was the wrong sort of thing to joke about. Plus the man said it in a grumpy sort of way, as though he was annoyed about it, so I also knew that it wasn't meant to be a joke, that they were just going a bit over the top about the rubbish bag, and that they suddenly turned the blame into a joke to make the woman feel better - which didn't work either.

So even NTs can offend people by joking. Sometimes joking leads to teasing, and teasing can make someone feel uncomfortable. I think NTs joke too much, and sometimes it goes a bit beyond it's purpose. Sometimes they turn insults into a joke to bail themselves out of being the ''bad guy''. I've actually seen that happen a lot.


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