Have you NEVER had a girlfriend. If so, why?

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DuneyBlues
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05 Dec 2011, 9:39 pm

I'm expecting them to come to me...


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ArthurDent
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06 Dec 2011, 8:31 am

Too shy, too ugly, too stupid, poor communication skills, no confidence, unhelpful friend (his idea of helping me meet women was to point at one and tell me to talk to her), the only female gamer I meet was married and is now single and living in Hawaii (I live in New York)



greg299L
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06 Dec 2011, 10:17 am

LuckyLeft wrote:
Nope. Have trouble 'reading' people, especially women. NTs can have trouble with this, so it's even worse for people on the ASD. I think I've been in several situations where females have been attracted to me by flirting or smiling and I just didn't know what to do. Or I couldn't tell. Also, I have issues with eye contact, I might look to long, if not way too short, and get negative looks from the females, or the look away from me in fear. I've had 'friends' say. "Aye, I think she likes you, boy! You betta make a move!" on numerous occasions (never seen that happen to any of my other peers). Usually I would freeze up mentally, or try to go through with it and end up embarrassed. I remember in the 9th grade some classmate said, "Aye, write your number on this sheet and I'll give it to her!" Went through the ordeal like a fool, and the guys handed back the sheet balled up. I plopped my head down on the table while everyone else laughed at my failed attempt :x

I've made progress, by having legitimate female friends over the past year, but they didn't last. And besides, I don't think I was being myself completely. I did act a little 'odd' around them once we associate outside of classes sometimes. I would be around them and one, if not both, would ask, "Why do you do that?" "Do What?" I asked, and I still don't know what it was, because she didn't respond. Perhaps of me stopping talking in conversations and/or looking off into 'space', or some other eccentric behavior of mine. They also tried the "hooking me up with a female" process with one of the girls roommates, and I said I wasn't interested, because I wasn't attracted to her. The girl who offered it up got angry, and she was persistent about this past Valentine's Day. The girls tried to lie to her and said I liked her and I didn't. I'm thinking to myself, "I thought people ended this nonsense in high school! AAGH!" If I truthfully was being myself, a lot of the females wouldn't be attracted to me, because of my eccentric behavior patterns. I guess I'm decent looking enough to be in these situations, but that doesn't make it any better to cope with.

Also, I think I can be immature in regards of a relationship. I can have attachment/obsession tendencies with people in general, as well as being jealous and protective of females that I'm attracted to physically. Almost as if I was 10-12 years old. And they were just associates. Most People, (usually guys) always called me a 'boy' instead of my name, and never understood why....Maybe because some people view me as immature, or totally ignorant of certain social situations....
Maybe, but maybe most "Normal" girls can act like true A-holes/



greg299L
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06 Dec 2011, 11:03 am

swbluto wrote:
magicbus wrote:
Simple. I'm in high school, and I have a very bad social reputation. I've completely changed my appearance, approach, and way of thinking, but people still think I'm the same awkward freak I've always been. The cliques are the main reason I won't have a boyfriend until college.

Every single guy I've ever asked out has rejected me for that reason.


Most guys don't care about your reputation. But, if you act like an awkward freak, then that will tend to scare the attractive guys away. (The attractive guys have better options and they know it. The less attractive guys, meh, who cares about them? lol)
She is not acting like an awkward freak, just an aspie, I can relate to what she says absolutely,,,, why do NT people always get off the hook, they are the ones with their evil little cliques and their exclusive social clubs and their outright snobbery. I put up with ***s all my life, they think they are better, but they are not. One girl called me a freak once, then her boyfriend repeated it right up close and in my face sneering, this turd who beat women and pranced about like a peacock, mr perfect pretty boy. He didn't act so uppish after I laid him out flat, he made the mistake of my apparent weaknesses being actual physical ones, He always acted abnormally around me after that, sort of scared that I might go haywire again. I have only risen to the bait on a few occasions, sometimes I got badly hurt, sometimes an idiot got exactly what he asked for,,.... is it me being an aspie, or is it actually strange that those few never actually thanked me for showing them "reality"........... Do I have anger issues ?... or aspie ones ?....................... generally I'm a mild type, but everything has its breaking point,... oh yeah, my hands never felt too good after those "events".



Ollytheaspie
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06 Dec 2011, 12:35 pm

I've only ever had one proper girlfriend because I never approach women tbh, when around them they are confused by my signals they might get the idea that I am not interested when I am very interested in the girl. I hardly let out a forces smile or a natural one. I sit with my arms crossed most of the time and maybe that's why they don't think I'm interested because they think I don't like them because of the way my body language appears to them. I'm also shy and most of the time don't open up to people, and only do when they open up to me. Guess I've got a lot of work to do, to get about in this world and get what I want. :(


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RoDanGray
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10 Dec 2011, 3:15 am

I wish I couldn't look a girl in the eye, I tend to stare it doesn't help. Girls all throughout elementary, middle, high school were my bullies. Elementary school girls used to push me down, pinch or scratch me hard enough to draw blood, Middle School girls would kick me & get their little friends to punch & shove me. High School Girls push & have their friends kick, spit, shove,I was even pushed down the stairs once. Every girl that I have tried to initiate conversation with, has been less than receptive. Women really don't like it when you can't stop staring at them, they avoid me like the plague. I think they think I'm some kind of a stalker or just really creepy.
Anyway, I have very little contact nowadays, I have finally given up.



Sadeyes19
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10 Dec 2011, 3:35 am

Ollytheaspie wrote:
I've only ever had one proper girlfriend because I never approach women tbh, when around them they are confused by my signals they might get the idea that I am not interested when I am very interested in the girl. I hardly let out a forces smile or a natural one. I sit with my arms crossed most of the time and maybe that's why they don't think I'm interested because they think I don't like them because of the way my body language appears to them. I'm also shy and most of the time don't open up to people, and only do when they open up to me. Guess I've got a lot of work to do, to get about in this world and get what I want. :(


Ever thought that maybe some girls are just as shy, but with your crossed arms it means that your being very defensive and they get off put and think.. Well maybe he doesn't like me and like at the way he hardly smiles, maybe he is angry with me and might hurt me. I know a couple of guys that won't open up at all till they have known the person for quite some time. It's also based on trust issues as well. Have you ever tried just being yourself around women? That's what most women want and if you're being yourself with your arms crossed and no smile, then I guess if a girl really likes you a lot they will be there for you. and help you out as much as they can. If the girl is a nice one, just say hey, I'm interested in you would you like to have a talk or would you like my number and we can talk.



Sadeyes19
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10 Dec 2011, 3:37 am

DuneyBlues wrote:
I'm expecting them to come to me...


Most women won't come to you unless you go to them. Unless of course they are out-going and head-strong.



Sadeyes19
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10 Dec 2011, 3:41 am

BillyJoe wrote:
I panic when confronted with sex and that seems to be the only way any women that come around me want to start a relationship. most girls base the relationship on sex and its not something that i'm eager to do with someone i don't know so i can just never be on the same page. there's a girl right now that wants to f**k me but I'm too afraid to do it and screw it up in front of everyone I know because she's a 3rd party friend.


Ever thought that maybe you're just in the wrong crowd? If the girl that wants to have sex with you can't accept that you're not ready then what is the point of even having a relationship with her in the first place? A relationship is suppose to be based on Trust, Communication and most importantly Love and Understanding. Maybe you just haven't found the right girl yet if you explain to her that you panic when confronted with sex and she doesn't like it. I live by the saying, if someone cannot accept you for the person you are, then they are not the right one for you, the right one will come along eventually. I also must add, that not all women just want sex from a relationship.