Scared of work / want my confidence back!

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Princess87
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

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Joined: 6 Jul 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 3
Location: England

07 Jul 2011, 8:00 am

Hi, i am having issues with full time work and coping with it. In January i got a job in the prison service and all was ok for 2 weeks then i started to get really bad thoughts and my mind felt like it started to control me in a very negative way, i was crying all the time and became so scared of going to work i couldn't leave my flat, after endless effort to overcome this i failed and had to quit the job as i thought that was the problem. I then spent two months getting myself back to what i thought was me and finding a job. I got an admin job and was very positive the first week then doubts set in again and the second week i was a mess again, constantly crying at work feeling low and like i couldn't do the job the phone would ring and i wouldn't answer it i was too scared. After much debate, i quit that one too thinking it was because i was out of my comfort zone, as I hadn't done admin work before. I then went to the doctor who suggested council ling at this point i was very depressed thoughts of suicide were a daily occurrence and i was crying all the time full of bad thoughts. I now live at my mum n dads with my boyfriend as we couldn't afford the flat we were living in and that relieved a lot of bad thoughts maybe coz im back home in a familiar surroundings i don’t no. Since getting myself better I’ve begun looking for work once again thinking retail as i have done this for over 6 years and i know it so there shouldn't be issues i managed to get a full time job offered to me i went in Monday for a group induction then the next day i couldn’t go in, my boyfriend took me to work but i sat in the car crying for 40 mins too scared to get out and face people. i felt like such a letdown to everyone that had supported me especially my boyfriend and stared to believe i wasn’t go to be able to do this and just wished it would all end. I tried the next day and still the same. i think its the interaction i will have with new people and customers that scares me plus its a new environment and that makes me uncomfortable anyway. I have managed to get the rest of the week off as I’m seeing a hypnotherapist Saturday morning but i would really appreciate it if you could reply with ways that might help or just share your own experience if you have them. Sorry its so long.
Thank u



Arian
Toucan
Toucan

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Joined: 16 Feb 2011
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 263
Location: Berkshire, England

07 Jul 2011, 10:17 am

Ok, take a long, deep breath :).

There is no quick fix here - I've been unemployed since 2000, and am having an extremely difficult time getting back into work, mainly because of my 'mental health issues'. Seems like the employers are the ones with the issues about it, not me! :lol:

In this current economic climate, every job is gold dust, so you need to do something about your mood swings soon. If you're young, then you have a greater chance of employment than someone who is older, because the employer will view you as trainable and more likely to take less pay. For them, it's an easy decision to make. If they want to stay in business, they employ cheap, trainable labour.

It looks like your main issue is of confidence in your own abilities. However, you obviously have something employers want, or you wouldn't have been able to get 3 jobs in 7 months!

Just focus on it on a day to day basis and whenever you feel bad, just take a 'cigarette break' and have some sweet chamomile tea. I'd suggest getting your gp to prescribe Prozac as well, but that's a personal choice :).


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