Sarcasm

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I'm bad at understanding sarcasm and even jokes most of the time! People have to tell me they're joking!

I love stand up comedy and have watched a ton of it since my teen years. I can be very sarcastic to the point that people will ask me if I'm being sarcastic when I'm completely sincere. I've been trying to be less like this the last few years though.

I use sarcasm a lot. Now and then, I have a little trouble identifying it in others, but I'm usually fine.

I'm usually very deadpan about my sarcasm, though. However, most people have gotten used to the fact that they shouldn't take me seriously.

People have to really overact for me to get when they're being sarcastic. It usually becomes easier the longer I've known someone to notice when they're joking, but for some people it never gets easier. My own attempts to use sarcasm to fit in are never successful or funny, judging by other people's reactions.

I have always been good at using sarcasm, but no one at the receiving end of my sarcasm interpreted it that way because of my lack of expression and verbal inflection. This made me afraid to use sarcasm, even though I used it all the time without realizing it. I felt I had to train myself to not use sarcasm, which I did with limited success. I was never good at recognizing sarcasm myself because of my inability to read expressions and verbal inflections in others. This made me afraid to respond to people who suggested wildly outrageous things, because I couldn't tell whether or not they were being sarcastic.

However, at some point I decided to learn about sarcasm in its many forms by rote. This took years to accomplish, because I had to learn and study alone what others seemed to grasp naturally. I started by watching movies, noted when sarcasm was used by what happened afterwards (this was not always easy to do because of the varying abilities of the actors involved), then looked and listened carefully to the facial expressions and verbal inflections that were used when the sarcasm was delivered.

Then I took these observations to public settings and paid attention to other people when they spoke. When I saw the expressions and heard the inflections that indicated sarcasm, I stayed with the conversation to verify my observations. By doing this repeatedly and often, I slowly learned how to interpret sarcasm, although I occasionally have to ask whether a person is being sarcastic or not.

Once I had learned how other people conveyed sarcasm, I started working on my own delivery. I quickly gave up on facial expressions, because I simply could not do them. This required a physical change to my face that I found impossible. I did learn how to use expression in my voice, however, and I now do a passable job in conveying sarcasm by means of my verbal inflection. I am still occasionally asked to verify that I am in fact being sarcastic, but at least my sarcasm is rarely interpreted today as an authentic representation of my mindset.

- John Silver
- San Diego, CA

If sarcasm is aimed at me I usually respond seriously and only realise when the persons says "I was joking!"; I often feel picked on or bullied by this, but I'm beginning to realise now that this is not being bullied it is a problem with me taking things literally.

When it's aimed at other people, situations or life in general ... it's hit and miss. Usually either I don't spot it, or I spot it but wonder why it's supposed to funny.

But even given all that, I do actually use sarcasm naturally and without thinking.

Unfortunately, it often seems like it is done inappropriately (people take me seriously - perhaps a tone of voice or facial expression thing?) or I take it too far (whoops!). Or maybe I'm not using sarcasm at all, I just think I am.

Hmmm.

I use sarcasm frequently. It's a great way to point out when someone says something stupid, which happens way too often, unfortunately.

Where did father jack come from? And how does a hamper tie in with the story above?

Regardless, I'll add my name to the list of "Yeah I often have to puzzle out sarcasm too"

And therein lies the problem with sarcasm if it is used too much.

Sarcasm is only effective, in my opinion when it is used sparingly. I use it on occasion, but I use it so rarely there is no question that it must be sarcasm, because it is so out of character for me. And, because it is usually so unexpected coming from me, it usually invokes laughter because everyone knows that it is indeed, sarcasm. Even those who normally have trouble knowing sarcasm when they hear it, can identify it coming from me. In person anyway. On forums it's a bit harder because too many readers don't really know me well enough to tell it's out of character.

Sarcasm coming from those who tend to overdo it, toward me, usually backfires because I treat it as a totally serious remark, especially if I know the person is constantly sarcastic. Too much is tiresome and bores me to death. Tire me enough with it and I'm likely to respond as if you are dead serious, with dead serious responses.

What really irritates me is when sarcastic people hear that I'm getting pissed off, and think I'm just being sarcastic. Because I do use sarcasm so sparingly, to take my seriousness as sarcasm only proves the person hasn't ever bothered to really get to know me at all, and has little to no respect for me or others.

Sarcasm can be a dangerous thing and shouldn't be played with by those who don't give a crap about how others feel. Sarcasm should be used carefully and never without a healthy handful of apologies to follow if it ever does backfire, because sooner or later, it will.

I enjoy many types of sarcasm and use some of them myself, in fact; however, though I can nearly always catch it, I don't always respond appropriately.

With me, when someone uses it too much, I then have no idea when they are being serious. I just stop taking them seriously and never listen to them. That causes us problems. But everyone would have this issue with someone using it too much. My ex thought it be a great way to teach me to not be literal and to pick up on it but he didn't seem to understand and get the hint it does me no good because then I just stop listening. Things become just words for me and I stop taking them seriously and not listen to what they say and ignore it. Then they wonder why I never listen to them. I am always assuming they are being sarcastic is why. My ex used to get mad at me for taking him seriously and he still didn't seem to get the hint. He didn't yell or anything, he just said he was joking and I needed to stop telling my mother what he says. He would also say a curse word. Anyway I never want to bother with them and I find them a waste of my time because I don't need to be with someone and not hear any serious talk from them. To me, it's just all garbage I'm hearing.