Is this aspie thinking or just male thinking?

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I'm not sure anyone would really understand that. I'm also not sure but think you are being slightly sarcastic.

If so, I would suggest that the only realistic option is for her to wear a bathing hat all the time (you know, those weird plastic things that make sure your hair doesn't get wet).

They're 7 years old. No, there's no obligation to tell the boys. It's the parents of the children that need to know if their children have been exposed to lice. And for at least one of those two 7 year old boys, the parents do know. It was the parent of one of those boys who posted here.

And to connect that to the issue in the initial post -- the girl's privacy.

The parents of one of the boys know about the lice issue. No reason to be sitting there while the girl gets her treatment. The other boy, it's his parents that need to know (if there indeed is a need to know), and they weren't even there. They can surely be informed (if appropriate; and maybe they already have) without the boy being there while the girl is treated.

Last edited by Mysty on 02 Aug 2011, 9:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

It was a reference to The Scarlet Letter. If you read my first comment in the this thread, you'll understand my point of view and it will make the intention of my second comment a lot more obvious.



Because that wouldn't be socially stigmatizing at all. LOL 2ukenkerl is going a bit overboard here and I don't think we need to accommodate that extreme of an opinion.

Ah, yes, I didn't know The Scarlet Letter. Funny reference. My comment on the bathing hat was to take the sarcastic joking on what she should do another step further.

2ukenkerl -

You may want to re-read the OP.

Mom, Dad, the girl AND the salon were all aware of the problem. She was at the salon as part of the process of treating the problem. She wasn't hiding anything - she just wasn't comfortable with him - or the boys - being there during the treatment.

To the OP -

I can't really say if it was due to AS or not, but her Dad's behaviour was certainly insensitive. While it could be legitimately argued that HE could have stayed, regardless of her desires, it wasn't right to have the boys stay after she said she didn't want them there.

To explain to him how this was embarrassing to her, I would ask him to imagine himself in a similar situation. I even have one in mind.

Ask him to think about how he would have felt, at 11 years old, if he came back from a camping trip and discovered that he had picked up a tick in a, ah, delicate area. Due to its location, a trip to the doctor was required for removal. How would he feel if:
A) his MOM took him,
B) she brought his SISTER along,
C) ANOTHER girl came, too,
and
D) all those girls stayed in the room while
E) he dropped his pants and the tick was removed.

If that scenario doesn't make it clear why she might have been overly enthusiastic in her request that they leave, I don't know what would!

Hi all. My post really was about the privacy thing and not about the lice.

For those that are genuinely concerned about the lice. In Australia we have lots of creepy crawlies. Lice are common and thrive in schools. We have regular notices coming home from the school about kids infected and all the parents have to try to manage the problem as best they can. Some kids are more prone to lice than others. it has nothing to do with how dirty/clean their hair is. My daughters hair was unusually thick. Hairdressers are allowed to treat customers with lice at the end of a working day when there are no other customers in the store. And of course, they have sterilisation practices. My daughter had already had the treatment and was at the hairdressers for thinning out the hair.
the problem now appears to be resolved.

When you're communicating on a forum full of aspies, you've got to expect someone to pick out one element of a story and scream to the high hills about it. It's part of the social awkwardness of not being able to process information the way neuro-typical people are able to process information. Head lice is obviously something 2ukenkerl feels passionately about and, due to aspergers, is unable to process the information as being less important than the focus of your post.

Thank you for the explanation of how head lice exists in Australia. Head lice is very common in the US, as well, but has an awful stigma. I'm not bothered by it. Bugs exist and we kill them when they show up where we don't want them. Throughout the years, I've had to get rid of fleas, ticks, leeches, bees, ants, fire ants, black widows, brown widows, brown recluses, flies... gawd I hate flies... so what's a little head lice?

I don't hear a lot about head lice in Canada, for what it's worth. I think they still do occassional checks in grade schools but I don't think there's any epidemic.

As for your daughter and husband, Argentina, I think your husband likely just needs to get used to the idea that your daughter is reaching an age where she's going to become more self conscious than she's been in the past. I suppose his inability to process that in the situation might be a sign of something, but it could also just be a father who isn't ready for his little girl to grow up.

death by hemophilia

or Ebola or another of the hemmorrhagic fevers


It's so OT but how could I not answer?

edited to add a serious answer for th OP:

NT dads can be just as oblivious about the privacy needs of their daughters. I've heard many stories from my coworkers who are moms about how their husbands honestly did not get why their daughters were so upset by various situations the daughters thought were a privacy infringement. The dads would say, "what? what did I do?" and they are quite NT. Oftentimes they just didn't notice that the 5 year old girl who had no privacy concerns at all has morphed into somebody who cares even more than she will as an adult, maybe due to the unsettling changes of puberty.

Last edited by Janissy on 09 Aug 2011, 11:13 am, edited 2 times in total.

how can you argue about bugs . kill them or do not..

Or should we call this.. how to be emotional about others reactions to bugs..

Try facebook

Back to the Subject at hand

Argentina with the details here in your first post, Girls should have there privacy as do boys sometimes but want you described is that your daughter did a order to the father which kids should not order there parents around "that was the way I was raised" and the father didn't follow that order because he is a parent but if the daughter said "Dad can you please take [name of boy 1] and [name of boy 2] out to the playground or something ?". Also there are some things that you can't keep private, thing like head lice can't because it can affect and spread many people as easy as her trying a hat on at a store and then the next person that picks up that hat could get lice and so on.

I am going off of what is in the first post in the topic.

side note:
Also headlice "can" be a serious issue if not controlled or killed, Anything that is cloth or used in the hair like blankets, sheets, Bed and throw pillows, Couch cushions, stuffed animals, Clothes, towels, hats, combs and brushes, car seat covers, etc.. some of these things you can catch lice from or there eggs. Most things you can wash but others like bushes and combs have to be tossed in the trash. The one thing that people do with stuffed animals since can't be wash is put then in a sealed plastic bag and allow time to go by to were the lice die off and eggs to hatch and those lice to die off. Also sharing cloths, jackets, and hats with friends can be cause and make them spread. Also noted in back the topic if you have never told her school from the first time she had lice that the school needs to know.

If you want to get rid of head lice quickly, then you need to follow these three steps:
1). Discover the source of the infestation.
2). Break the life cycle.
3). Ensure they never return.
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