My non verbal 4 year old son keeps smacking his face! HELP!

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HaydensMama06
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08 Aug 2011, 11:20 pm

My son keeps smacking himself in the face. I don't know what to do! If i tell him not to do this he does it more... if I ignore the behavior he still does it! I don't know how to get him to stop! SOMEONE HELP!



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09 Aug 2011, 12:18 am

What have you tried in terms of redirection?

Maybe engaging him in something else to occupy himself can help?



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09 Aug 2011, 3:52 am

I would suggest talking to him when he hits himself. Say something like: boy, I bet that feels good when you stop or Hayden, no matter what, Mommy always will love you or something like, that looks like fun, I think I'll hit myself in the face too. It would appear to me that the motivation for Hayden hitting himself is self hatred so something else to say to him is; don't you like yourself Hayden?; do you want Mommy to give you a hug if you feel like hitting yourself?



liloleme
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09 Aug 2011, 6:00 am

When my daughter used to hit herself or pull her hair Id treat it just like if she hit someone else. Id take her hand and say "Dont hurt Maddy". All of our kids are different thought so you need to find out why he is doing it, if it is fun for him you may have to take a different stance on the whole thing but my daughter mainly did it out of frustration.



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09 Aug 2011, 7:14 am

That this behavior started the last two weeks of school is very telling.What was going on during that time? Did you discuss this with his teachers? What were they able to tell you? It could be that he saw other students doing this behavior or that he got angry and he turned his anger on himself.

What does your response look like when you tell him to stop? Could your response be feeding his behavior? Have you started documenting when it happens and what's going on when it's happening? Who's in the room with him when he does this? What time of day is it, has he eaten, is he tired, angry, etc.

It will be like playing detective in that you really need to observe the environment for every detail that impacts your son when he does this? Also, are there times he absolutely doesn't do it?



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09 Aug 2011, 9:13 am

What triggers this behavior?

Common triggers for self-injury in autistic kids:

* overload - does he tend to do it more in noisy environments, or in reaction to certain stimuli such as flashing lights or unexpected touch?
* change in routine - once I took a 14 year old severely autistic girl into the family change room instead of the women's change room, and she started banging her head and biting her hand and didn't stop until we had her changed and in the pool area.
* pain - has he had a medical exam recently? Self-injury can sometimes be a way of distracting yourself from pain elsewhere.
* frustration - since he's nonverbal, probably a lot of times he tries to communicate something and no one understands it. That could be causing him to self-injure out of frustration.
* stimming - when he gets hurt (eg scrapes his knee) does he act like he's feeling pain? If he's hyposensitive to pain, then hitting himself in the face might actually feel good to him.
* emotional stress - maybe something bad is happening to him, and the only way he can deal with his feelings about it is by hurting himself. I don't mean to scare you, but studies have shown that when autistic kids get abused, they tend to show an increase in self-injury, aggression and/or meltdowns. In some kids that may be the first sign that something's wrong.



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09 Aug 2011, 11:38 am

HaydensMama06 wrote:
My son keeps smacking himself in the face. I don't know what to do! If i tell him not to do this he does it more... if I ignore the behavior he still does it! I don't know how to get him to stop! SOMEONE HELP!


Telling him not to perform an stimming behavior does not help, and ignoring it, either. You need to redirect. My daughter's stimming also involved the hands. Her therapist told me she should keep her hands busy all the time, or get her involved in a relaxing activity that made her forget about her stimming behavior. Her whole day was scheduled so she didnt have any free time to get involved in her stimming behavior: painting (she loves to paint, so she forgets about everything else when she is painting), playdough, playing with bubbles, playing with balls, playing with fabrics (she loved to dress up). Of course, she could not be unsupervised. It took a while (about one year), but following the redirect technique we were able to stop this behavior. It was very important, because she was hurting herself.

Maybe you should get professional help, but please do not continue trying to stop it yourself by the means you are using now. I did and all I got was to make the situation worst.



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09 Aug 2011, 9:08 pm

HaydensMama06 wrote:
My son keeps smacking himself in the face. I don't know what to do! If i tell him not to do this he does it more... if I ignore the behavior he still does it! I don't know how to get him to stop! SOMEONE HELP!

My daughter went through this phase. I would tell her immediately to stop, don't hurt ..... and then follow up with a structured activity to take her mind of what she just did. Often certain stimming and forms of repetitive behaviour (and sometimes harmful behaviour) can be remedied by structuring a child's days with activities.



draelynn
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09 Aug 2011, 10:34 pm

I agree with much here - first you need to identify why he's doing it. If you can identify the trigger you can avoid it or defuse it before it gets to that point. He may be doing it as a sensory stim.

Is he verbal? If so you can ask him why he hits himself. Does he like it? Does it hurt? Lots of kids have an altered sense of pain perception - he may not feel as if he's hurting himself or the pain may be pleasureable in the sensory stimulation sense - it may not feel 'good' but the intensity of the sensation may satisfy his sensory needs. Whether he's verbal or not still talk to him. Explain that hitting himself may cause damage. Explain that the rules of the house are that no one hits - not other people, and not themselves. Give him something else he can hit. A special pillow. A beanbag. Physical activity may also help. Deep pressure activities may help if it is sensory. Rolling on an exercise ball on his stomach, wrapping tightly in blankets, big bear hugs.

My daughter has AS and her self abuse was totally centered around frustration around homework. She is very self critical and punishes herself, usually by slapping her head. It took a good two years to reduce and finally eliminate that behavior - we stuck to 'the RULES'. She is very rule oriented and we explained that if we let her do that we would get in trouble. As her parents it was our job to keep her safe and healthy and unhurt. That curbed the prolonged episodes. We let her go to her room to calm down when homework gets her worked up. She has an exercise ball she uses. It's very much trial and error.

Hang in there Mom!