Aspergers and Sexual Harassment

Page 7 of 7 [ 107 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Dragnet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2017
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,657

18 Nov 2017, 12:10 am

Ai_Ling wrote:
aspie males = high risk for being a sexual harasser??
aspie female = high risk for being a sexual victim??


Hm...

Why can't aspie males be at high risk for being sexual victims?

If they were that would probably create some disconnect on how to treat others right?

Also I would like to not be judged here in terms of sparking a debate about my sexuality...

But is it just me... or does being homosexual seem like a safer option. Bear with me here and you'll see my point, okay take an attractive female, you approach and you make a sexual gesture. Its very likely their reply negatively but if you do the same to a homosexual male there are mostly totally comfortable with it even if not in to it. They are much more likely to reply yay or nah. So... this begs the question are all sexual gestures inappropriate? That can't be or no one would have sex, so why is the line so hard to read here.

First kiss from a woman I got, she never asked, I was pretty blown in a good way but still, if I didn't ask her and kissed her, would it be inappropriate?

What measures inappropriate?

I think that is better question for aspie males then flat out implying their are predators...



Gallia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Mar 2018
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,063

04 Apr 2018, 9:46 am

Ai_Ling wrote:
While being on here, i get the impression that female aspies are at high risk for sexual harassment because they cant read the social signals of a sexual predator.


100% that. I am scared of dating these days due to bad past experiences.

Interestingly, there was this guy in college who might have been on the spectrum who used to stare at me a lot. most people might have found it creepy, it didn't bother me too much. what bothers me is guys who pressure you into physical contact n stuff. that's not cool.


_________________
Diagnosed with ADHD
Online Autism/ Asperger's Screening = 38 (Autism likely)


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,439
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

06 Apr 2018, 1:08 pm

Ai_Ling wrote:
So I was reading a book that was guide for aspies going to college. When I read the dating section, it was directed mostly towards male aspies and basically 80% of it was heavily emphasizing about not being a stalker, sexual harasser, creeper, etc. I was amazed, it was more a about not being a creep vs learning how to navigate the dating world.

While being on here, i get the impression that female aspies are at high risk for sexual harassment because they cant read the social signals of a sexual predator.

So...

aspie males = high risk for being a sexual harasser??
aspie female = high risk for being a sexual victim??

Im female aspie and well lets just put it this way. If I were an aspie guy doing some of the stuff to NT females that ive done to NT males. Umm...I would have gotten a restraining order at the least. So I guess I fall under the category of stalker, creep, etc. No Ive never attempted to give a guy unwanted sexual attention so that disqualifies me to sexual predator.

Edit #1: Just a tip for u aspie males who dont want to be branded as a creep. Make efforts not to dress in a way which women might perceive u as a creep. For example, if you have long hair and wear leather jackets, steel toed boots and is slightly overweight. Chances are you are gonna be perceived as a creep. If you dont know if u dress like a creep, ask a friend or family member for some critique. Remember: geeky is better then creepy


What the hell how is that 'dressing like a creep' exactly?

Also, one mistake people make is thinking there is a particular look for creeps/sexual predators, that is wrong they can look like anything. I mean that Brock Turner guy who got a slap on the wrist for raping an unconscious girl probably just looked like your typical 'sporty' college kid beings he was on the swim team or whatever.


_________________
We won't go back.


asp159
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 20 Apr 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 56
Location: United Kingdom

06 Apr 2018, 3:44 pm

I find the problem is everyone you ask for feedback is too nice to tell you what you need to improve and just say you're fine. Only way I know i'm not fine is that i'm still single and girl blocked me as soon as I ask her out like I did something awful.



asp159
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 20 Apr 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 56
Location: United Kingdom

06 Apr 2018, 3:54 pm

Dragnet wrote:
Ai_Ling wrote:
aspie males = high risk for being a sexual harasser??
aspie female = high risk for being a sexual victim??


Hm...

Why can't aspie males be at high risk for being sexual victims?

If they were that would probably create some disconnect on how to treat others right?

Also I would like to not be judged here in terms of sparking a debate about my sexuality...

But is it just me... or does being homosexual seem like a safer option. Bear with me here and you'll see my point, okay take an attractive female, you approach and you make a sexual gesture. Its very likely their reply negatively but if you do the same to a homosexual male there are mostly totally comfortable with it even if not in to it. They are much more likely to reply yay or nah. So... this begs the question are all sexual gestures inappropriate? That can't be or no one would have sex, so why is the line so hard to read here.

First kiss from a woman I got, she never asked, I was pretty blown in a good way but still, if I didn't ask her and kissed her, would it be inappropriate?

What measures inappropriate?

I think that is better question for aspie males then flat out implying their are predators...



As a bisexual aspie I have to say gay guys are almost always easier to talk to than woman. They tend to not take the interest I show as me being a creep and can just decline if not interested. Consequently I've been on dates with about 20 guys and 1 girl as they just act like i'm doing something wrong by showing interest in them. Ironically i'm more interested in girls than guys. I'm not saying anything sexual either just general stuff but woman either treat me like I'm a robot or i'm going to rape them. :?



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

06 Apr 2018, 4:26 pm

Image



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,439
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

06 Apr 2018, 4:49 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Image


Well what the hell, why was it on the first page of the forum if it was so old...But also why would he punish the kitties?


_________________
We won't go back.


Grammar Geek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Oct 2015
Age: 28
Posts: 886
Location: Missouri

06 Apr 2018, 11:11 pm

asp159 wrote:
Dragnet wrote:
Ai_Ling wrote:
aspie males = high risk for being a sexual harasser??
aspie female = high risk for being a sexual victim??


Hm...

Why can't aspie males be at high risk for being sexual victims?

If they were that would probably create some disconnect on how to treat others right?

Also I would like to not be judged here in terms of sparking a debate about my sexuality...

But is it just me... or does being homosexual seem like a safer option. Bear with me here and you'll see my point, okay take an attractive female, you approach and you make a sexual gesture. Its very likely their reply negatively but if you do the same to a homosexual male there are mostly totally comfortable with it even if not in to it. They are much more likely to reply yay or nah. So... this begs the question are all sexual gestures inappropriate? That can't be or no one would have sex, so why is the line so hard to read here.

First kiss from a woman I got, she never asked, I was pretty blown in a good way but still, if I didn't ask her and kissed her, would it be inappropriate?

What measures inappropriate?

I think that is better question for aspie males then flat out implying their are predators...



As a bisexual aspie I have to say gay guys are almost always easier to talk to than woman. They tend to not take the interest I show as me being a creep and can just decline if not interested. Consequently I've been on dates with about 20 guys and 1 girl as they just act like i'm doing something wrong by showing interest in them. Ironically i'm more interested in girls than guys. I'm not saying anything sexual either just general stuff but woman either treat me like I'm a robot or i'm going to rape them. :?


I’m bisexual too and have never been on a date with a guy or girl. People just assume I’m straight, and I don’t know how to tell if a person is gay unless the signs are really obvious. And I don’t know the correct way to ask someone out anyway.



asp159
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 20 Apr 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 56
Location: United Kingdom

07 Apr 2018, 12:41 am

Quote:
I’m bisexual too and have never been on a date with a guy or girl. People just assume I’m straight, and I don’t know how to tell if a person is gay unless the signs are really obvious. And I don’t know the correct way to ask someone out anyway.


Oh I just use grindr or something online. I have no idea how to spot some random guy either. As for girls I just look for them smiling and laughing with me but apparently that's always just friendliness.

As for asking someone out I came to the conclusion there is no correct way. Been asking and searching for advice and every single source seems to contradict another. So I just picked one. It failed.



collectoritis
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,050

09 Apr 2018, 3:27 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Image


Well what the hell, why was it on the first page of the forum if it was so old...But also why would he punish the kitties?


Spanking monkeys is OK though

Beavis : "When I was born the doctor slapped my butt....and then he spanked my money , heh heh heh"

:lol:



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

09 Apr 2018, 5:06 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Image


Well what the hell, why was it on the first page of the forum if it was so old...But also why would he punish the kitties?



Sweetleaf....



... think of the kittens, please.