Aspergers and Sexual Harassment

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hale_bopp
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28 Oct 2017, 10:45 pm

Aaendi wrote:

The truth is a lot of neurotypical women pretend to feel uncomfortable just to laugh at the Aspie guy.

Maybe when they’re teenagers or in their early 20s. As you get older, behaviour like that is less and less acceptable as you cannot blame being immature for being a flat out dick forever, and only makes them look bad.

Aaendi
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29 Oct 2017, 11:16 am

An aspie can make a neurotypical girl "feel uncomfortable" by just sitting at a lunch table all alone doing nothing.

karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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29 Oct 2017, 1:41 pm

Aaendi wrote:

An aspie can make a neurotypical girl "feel uncomfortable" by just sitting at a lunch table all alone doing nothing.

Autistic women make people uncomfortable, too. We make people uncomfortable because we are different, it goes with the territory. This is one of the reasons why we have social difficulties. Autistic women exist, too.

B19
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29 Oct 2017, 4:19 pm

Aaendi wrote:

An aspie can make a neurotypical girl "feel uncomfortable" by just sitting at a lunch table all alone doing nothing.

Moving the goalposts.

fiber bundle
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30 Oct 2017, 6:54 am

hale_bopp wrote:

SadAspy wrote:

If a girl finds you attractive, she will be charmed no matter what you say.

If a girl finds you unattractive, she will be offended no matter what you say.

It isn't about Aspergers.

It’s not about looks, either. It’s about vibes.

The person who kept staring at me and creeping me the f**k out at work wasn’t “ugly”.
They were just extremely creepy based on their actions.

What about people who don’t realize that they are staring inappropriately?

Aaendi
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30 Oct 2017, 1:05 pm

fiber bundle wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

SadAspy wrote:

If a girl finds you attractive, she will be charmed no matter what you say.

If a girl finds you unattractive, she will be offended no matter what you say.

It isn't about Aspergers.

What about people who don’t realize that they are staring inappropriately?

What if that's just the direction his seat is facing, and he would look more awkward if he stared at a wall or moved his head in circles.

fiber bundle
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30 Oct 2017, 1:15 pm

I’m serious.

emmasma
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30 Oct 2017, 1:28 pm

I wish people would remember to differentiate between being creepy and being a harasser. In my experience harassers are people who generally have higher social skills and use them to belittle others, try to get them to do stuff, or just generally make themselves look relevant. It is bullying using sexuality as a weapon, or using power to try to bully someone into sexual situations.
Just because you make people uncomfortable because you are not great at social interactions that does not make you a person who sexually harasses people. In most cases I have seen socially awkward men bullied constantly sexually by men and women at work, jokes about them and stuff. This is sexual harassment and no one ever said anything about it.

hale_bopp
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30 Oct 2017, 1:45 pm

fiber bundle wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

SadAspy wrote:

If a girl finds you attractive, she will be charmed no matter what you say.

If a girl finds you unattractive, she will be offended no matter what you say.

It isn't about Aspergers.

What about people who don’t realize that they are staring inappropriately?

They should probably learn some self awareness. I agree with the above post. It’s not harassment. It’s just unpleasant.

nephets
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30 Oct 2017, 2:33 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

fiber bundle wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

SadAspy wrote:

If a girl finds you attractive, she will be charmed no matter what you say.

If a girl finds you unattractive, she will be offended no matter what you say.

It isn't about Aspergers.

What about people who don’t realize that they are staring inappropriately?

They should probably learn some self awareness. I agree with the above post. It’s not harassment. It’s just unpleasant.

Some of this is certainly true, but I'm sure many male Aspies have been regarded as weird, strange, creepy, just because we don't make eye contact well. I speak as someone who works in an Office which is 2/3 female. If you don't yatter on or talk to them you are often regarded as in someway odd. To many NT's you are unacceptable if you do not interact with them as much as THEY want. Some seem to have a childish 'look at me, look at me' attitude (I'm talking about middle aged people here). I have been accused of being disrespectful for not acknowledging the superior rank of people I was simply not talking to because they are unpleasant people.

karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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30 Oct 2017, 2:42 pm

nephets wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

fiber bundle wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

SadAspy wrote:

If a girl finds you attractive, she will be charmed no matter what you say.

If a girl finds you unattractive, she will be offended no matter what you say.

It isn't about Aspergers.

What about people who don’t realize that they are staring inappropriately?

They should probably learn some self awareness. I agree with the above post. It’s not harassment. It’s just unpleasant.

Everything you describe here has happened to me repeatedly in social situations. It's not exclusive to male aspies. Autistic women exist too.

Closet Genious
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30 Oct 2017, 2:47 pm

nephets wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

fiber bundle wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

SadAspy wrote:

If a girl finds you attractive, she will be charmed no matter what you say.

If a girl finds you unattractive, she will be offended no matter what you say.

It isn't about Aspergers.

What about people who don’t realize that they are staring inappropriately?

They should probably learn some self awareness. I agree with the above post. It’s not harassment. It’s just unpleasant.

I've had insults thrown at me from women, simply because I didn't talk to them. Alot of times it's seemed like women were mean for absolutely no reason, I've never had this experience with other men.

I think it's because us aspie guys are naturally quite passive socially, and some women somehow interpret that as being rude or arrogant.

The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Oct 2017, 2:47 pm

wilbur......

Closet Genious
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30 Oct 2017, 2:51 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

wilbur......

wilbur who?

nephets
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30 Oct 2017, 3:03 pm

karathraceandherspecialdestiny wrote:

nephets wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

fiber bundle wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

SadAspy wrote:

If a girl finds you attractive, she will be charmed no matter what you say.

If a girl finds you unattractive, she will be offended no matter what you say.

It isn't about Aspergers.

What about people who don’t realize that they are staring inappropriately?

They should probably learn some self awareness. I agree with the above post. It’s not harassment. It’s just unpleasant.

Everything you describe here has happened to me repeatedly in social situations. It's not exclusive to male aspies. Autistic women exist too.

I don't doubt Aspie females have the same problems. There is really nothing more gossipy or bitchy then a gaggle of NT females with too much time on their hands. Interestingly, I had less trouble when In worked with an all-male team. These were, however, more senior men, who were almost as un-talkative as me.

emmasma
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30 Oct 2017, 3:55 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

Aaendi wrote:

The truth is a lot of neurotypical women pretend to feel uncomfortable just to laugh at the Aspie guy.

As an adult aspi woman who has held 30+ jobs ( mostly due to getting paranoid and quiting); I can tell you this is not true. People are still jerks when they grow up, some of them even get better at it and get more power. Adults still have an unwritten social power structure, and some of them are still flat out dicks, and the ones who do it right usually have the most friends.

As a group NT women are the ones who I have been bullied by and seen bully others most often. This is social bullying, little digs disguised as backhanded complements and talking behind peoples back and stuff, taking every opportunity to make sure everyone knows when I do anything wrong. This type of behavior can be devastating for aspies. I really hate it. Not all NT women are like this but it only takes one or two in a workplace to really mess up the culture, and they can really make it hard on individuals who they feel socially superior too.

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