Do you miss someone right now?

Post Reply New Topic

Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon

Yes. Lucy. We see each other every week at a social club and I doubt she even likes me back. She's always smiling. She is smart and beautiful. She works in a nursery and is one of the most caring girls I've ever met. She always tries her hardest at everything despite her apparent social anxiety that I can't even see.

She was a coworker who suddenly appeared at a time when I was coming to an end of a year long phase of working tirelessly to obtain everything that I had missed out on growing up. I was burned out, without anymore motivation. I kept on working on my relationship with God, all I had left. I just didn't care about myself anymore, because no matter what kind of obstacle I hurdled, there wasn't a reward substantial enough to make me feel proud. I worked at a restaurant at the time and I was on break, and I had heard of a new girl a few days before. Somehow, I was anxious to meet her. And there she was, I knew I had to talk to her so I ended my break 10 minutes earlier. She glowed with prospect, God was nudging me, I thought, and she was the sweetest thing. We began a little friendship and working in a highly stressful and over stimulating environment became something I looked forward to each shift. The 3 months we were friends were the best months of last year. I was so happy that somebody understood and that I could rust them, despite being so disorganized myself.

I visited her when she was closing on one of my days off to ask her out. By this time, I had taken things slow, prayed about the relationship, and checked myself a hundred times. I had never had a real relationship before, because I take them so seriously and I had gone about pursuing the wrong kinds of girls before. I could see the relationship lasting and being as passionate as I dreamed of. I was so confident, more than I had ever been before. We had a quick flirt and I told her I wanted us to start hanging out. She told me she felt the same way, but was to nervous to ask me. She asked when and where. I didn't know what to do because I was shocked that she didn't reject me, so I just told her I would call her and tell her, and that was the night. I left so happy. After years of sadness and confusion, social failure, and fighting to stay ahead, maybe I could love someone and care for them in a way that no one else ever did. I called her a few days later, inviting her to a festival, but she was upset over something in her personal life. I listened, and offered support, but she needed space. She promised to call me when she was okay, and I promised to be there for her. I was happy she trusted me enough to open up, so I went about the week and gave her space.

Then I told her I liked her and I still wanted to hang out. She told me I shouldn't, and the relationship began to decline. Maybe I didn't give enough space, but my socially ret*d self tried to mend it. I called her again a week later and asked if I could take her on a daytrip to get her away from whatever it was that was dragging her down, as I knew she was going to be off from both of her jobs that time. She told me she didn't know me and thought I would assault her, then hung up. After apologizing, she blocked me from everything, and after a month of silence and not seeing her at work, she returned only to give me silence when I opened the door for her, and she even flirted with someone right in front of me, at the same table I was sitting at. She constantly glanced at me as she did it, and I just sat there in disbelief. She eavesdropped on a conversation with another friend at work, and then alternated from treating me like I didn't exist to being unusually bubbly until my shift was over, when she positioned herself next to the door as I prepared to go to my truck to speed off from all of it. I told her that at some point, she would have to tell me why she was so mad at me, and all I heard was it was just her personality and I needed to deal with it, to which I replied, I still liked her, and left. That's the last time we worked together. She came in and said hello back to me when she was off one day, and I think I recently spotted her at my church, but that's all.

It's been 6 months. I left the job soon after and work somewhere better. I'm going into firefighting and I'm working on volunteering with my county department. I was in the middle of a weight loss journey when I met her and I've built allot of strength since. I may attend, ironically, the same school as her soon. I haven't visited my old workplace, despite my old friends there wanting me to stop by, nor have I asked about her. But, I've planned on stopping by to catch up with everyone, and try to reach out to her again. I'm far more grown now, and I really want closure. Though, today, an old friend told me out of nowhere that she started seeing a guy that started there shortly after I left. I'm still very hurt over what happened, and I wish I had the ability to reverse all of this. I wish it never happened, because I wanted her to know everything and I wanted to give her all of it. I worked hard not to mess it up, because we all know, Aspergers can be a curse in these situations. It was all a game that she played in the end, at least my and my counselor's conclusion was. But it wasn't one to begin with. I don't know why I miss her.

My boyfriend and I are currently in a long distance relationship since I relocated last june. Due to many set backs, we haven't seen each other since then and even though we communicate very strongly its only natural to miss the physical interaction

Yeah. I'm out of words.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Ya, even though he treated me horribly.

Yes, terribly. Nine days isn't long enough.

I miss someone who I feel is very special to me.
I fell in love with another Aspie a few years ago who taught me more about myself than I could have ever learnt. He gave me a spark and a connection I had never felt and I know I will never feel with another person. I am sad that I will never experience this again, but one can be hopeful in that the universe works in a way in which whatever that needs to happen, if two people are meant to be together, they perhaps will be.

What ruined it was my own automatic negative thoughts, the trauma I had not yet moved from and not having a clear understanding as I do now. I was very unwell and so was he. He needed time to himself to become well again and adjust. I took it extremely personally. I feel that my unwellness made his life worse and I suspect he felt that his unwellness made my life worse. I distracted myself with someone else (NT), fell in love with him and am realising I feel a bit distrusting with them right now for various reasons. I still love this person and we have been together for a few years. I have done a lot of growing, personal learning and discovered my AS condition. The answer to everything I have been wondering all my life. Current partner won't ever quite understand. Even after explaining the severity of my conditions before I found out that I had AS, he still assumed they were about as limiting on my life as a grain of salt.

I recently caught sight of previous Aspie, we had a very long moment of eye contact that made me feel so calming and I realised I still love him. Sounds really stupid, I know. I have been honest with current partner. He understands that I need time to get over this, but I don't have much faith in that I will. I'm very depressed and confused and I miss my special Aspie fellow and also don't want to hurt my current partner.
Anyway, however the universe works...

Yes the former aikido instructor

I miss my ex at the moment.

After four years of ups and downs, she and I broke up late last year.

I deeply fear that I may never be in another relationship.

solid mechanics teaching assistant

SE 120 instructor

english 11 teacher

.......no.

That I do

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

The guy I love , he is bipolar and stopped texting because of depression . : (

WP Member Shep. He had to go to jail after striking me, and now we cant see each other. None of us want this, but it happened anyway.

Yeah but at least I'm feeling more understood

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos