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smudge
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05 Sep 2011, 8:33 am

Mindslave wrote:
And if you are one of those people who is too afraid that someone might be a creepy psycho rapist killer, and you have to exchange a million e-mails first...you probably shouldn't be using the Internet to meet people in the first place.


Funnily enough, the internet is a giant magnet for psychos. And AS women are VERY vulnerable because they trust too easily. You need to swap more than just a few e-mails to understand what someone is like. These people can appear creepy after a few meets (or just one) IRL, but not after a few e-mails because they take the time to word them.

There's a very good reason people are wary - they'd rather be safe than sorry.



spongy
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05 Sep 2011, 8:49 am

smudge wrote:
Mindslave wrote:
And if you are one of those people who is too afraid that someone might be a creepy psycho rapist killer, and you have to exchange a million e-mails first...you probably shouldn't be using the Internet to meet people in the first place.


Funnily enough, the internet is a giant magnet for psychos. And AS women are VERY vulnerable because they trust too easily. You need to swap more than just a few e-mails to understand what someone is like. These people can appear creepy after a few meets (or just one) IRL, but not after a few e-mails because they take the time to word them.

There's a very good reason people are wary - they'd rather be safe than sorry.

Ever heard of public meetings at a cafe or something that usually last less than an hour and are considered to be pre-dates? I believe that they are done to make sure that the other person is trustworthy.

Also the internet is a magnet for psychos, creeps etc im not going to deny that and Im fine with communication by email until both parties feel comfortable enough to meet. Having said that you can never be to carefull and you are bound to come across some of them at one point so dont do the internet thing unless you are able to deal with that kind of thing.


Also let me reiterate that alex doesnt check this board and any suggestions should be adressed to him personally(by phone/fb).


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Grisha
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05 Sep 2011, 9:04 am

Mindslave wrote:
You can't meet people off of dating sites unless you both decide to meet up after a few e-mails. If you try and get to know each other through e-mail first, by the time you meet the person, you will already have (inaccurate) expectations for who they are. People don't live in a virtual reality, so why meet them through a virtual world? And if you are one of those people who is too afraid that someone might be a creepy psycho rapist killer, and you have to exchange a million e-mails first...you probably shouldn't be using the Internet to meet people in the first place.


I don't think that the Internet is any better/worse than IRL for making the initial contact with people, in fact the Internet may be better because you can overcome some of the limitations of time and geography.

But it's the expectations thing that could be the fatal(?) flaw. I honestly don't know how to overcome this - people really should know better, especially when they know in advance that the person is an Aspie.



Logan5
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06 Sep 2011, 6:45 am

smudge, for what it's worth (which is not a lot), there are a few other dating websites for people on the spectrum, such as,
http://www.autismdating.net/
http://www.autisticdating.net/
http://www.autisticdating.co.uk/
Unfortunately, although those websites may not have the technical bugs that perpetually plague Aspie Affection, they have the other problems (like lots of inactive profiles, scammers/ spammers, etc.). I think it would greatly benefit the autistic community if the people behind these different websites got together and pooled their resources into a single website, but the chances of that ever happening are zero. :roll:

You will find a few people with autism / Asperger's on the myriad of dating websites targeting individuals with disabilities and/or health problems, e.g.
http://www.alldisabled.com/
http://www.dateable.org/
http://www.datedisabled.com/
http://www.datingdisabled.net/
http://www.dating4disabled.com/
http://www.disabledcupid.com/
http://www.disabledpassions.com/
http://www.disabilitydating.com/
http://www.enabledalready.com/
http://www.nolongerlonely.com/
http://www.prescription4love.com/
http://www.whispers4u.com/
(This is another area that would greatly benefit from consolidation.) Be warned, however, that another WP member has reported problems with a couple of those sites.

A third option is to look for people with similar traits and/or interests on niche websites. For example, anime and manga, electronic video games, sci fi, etc.,
http://www.gk2gk.com
http://www.sweetongeeks.com/
(I recognise that not all people on the spectrum share those interests. For instance, I do not play video games.) If you search about, you will find there are all sorts of niche dating websites,
http://www.passionsnetwork.com/c_resources.html
http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/nic ... vices.html
http://nichedatingdirectory.com/
Of course, finding a partner on one of them--someone you can relate to and get along with--is another matter. :?

Finally, if you are higher functioning and have money to burn, you can always try your luck with the algorithms used by some of the major websites; see
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3907991.html