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bridgete2010
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21 Jan 2012, 10:16 pm

When I'm not pretending to be NT, I'm often perceived as being sad.


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Zhane
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23 Jan 2012, 4:10 pm

fragaria wrote:
People always assume that I'm angry but I'm not and it makes me sad.
How can I learn to make a normal, happy face? I cannot wear sunglasses all the time.


I used to get this all the time when I was in college. They would ask my friend why I look so angry. You are just probably in deep thought when people see you. It takes practice, but with work you can keep a smile on your face and walk at the same time.



artrat
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27 Jan 2012, 1:38 am

It's the opposite for me. I have a very expressive face.
Sometimes I accidentally smile at the wrong time and it gets me in trouble.


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lostonearth35
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27 Jan 2012, 2:12 pm

No one else tells me I look angry all the time (my mom says my facial expressions are constantly changing), but my eyebrows seem to be perpetually in the "frown" position, no matter what. I think I look like an angry European with my light skin, thick black hair and eyebrows. :lol: Of course, I'm not going to resort to painfully pluck and tweeze them, I'll probably wreck them even more and then they're grow back in all funny. :lol:



Briana_Lopez
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29 Jan 2012, 2:05 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
It's so hard for me to force a smile. It never comes out right unless it's genuine.


Haha so true. Even when I'm feeling neutral, my peers ask me "Are you okay? You look upset. If you need to talk, just let me know." But I'm not upset at all. And I can't really force a smile if I'm told to, like in pictures, because my mouth begins to twitch. I can't do that, but I can fake a smile if I really am upset.



Bun
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29 Jan 2012, 2:08 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
Perhaps we could reply, "Well, come to think of it..." :twisted:

Haha, exactly. The person who usually tells me I'm angry always says so after being a twat. :lol:


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dizzywater
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06 Feb 2012, 6:48 pm

My sister used to go on all the time about how much it upset her, me being angry all the time. But I wasn't. She said I should see my face. Others have called me "smiler" because if I'm out walking I seem to smile continually. I think I put on the smile as a defense when others are around, then at home I don't bother. I don't notice until someone points it out though.
I can fake a smile very well when I try, its about pulling back the muscles at the side of your eyes more than your mouth. If you can move your ears then its similar.
At work I used to work with an old lady who always thought being quiet and concentrating on work meant there was something wrong. I thought that was annoying until she was replaced by a non stop gossip who totally stressed me every day by never stopping asking me questions. Fortunately she was temporary and I get on quite well with the new woman, she seems to actually value that I am good at my job even though I don't join in the gossip (I spend a lot of time thinking "who gives a stuff" when they talk). But I make a point of smiling often.



beckym
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20 Feb 2012, 12:47 am

I can't tell you how many times I've heard this. Even from complete strangers. I think my favorite comment about my facial expression was "you look like your dog just died". I'm sorry people, I just can't control my facial expressions, get over it!!



Declension
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20 Feb 2012, 12:56 am

I get this a lot. When I'm thinking hard about something, or just feeling overwhelmed, I apparently look worried or angry. People that know me know that it doesn't necessarily mean anything. I force a smile whenever I can remember. I know it looks obviously forced, but it's just my way of showing that I care about people caring about me.

EDIT: Wait, this is Women's Discussion? How did I get here? Excuse me, I'll just let myself out. 8O

(I monitor threads using "View posts since last visit", and didn't notice which forum this was.)



dizzywater
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21 Feb 2012, 3:29 am

When someone asks me a question which requires a bit of thought (most questions in my case) then they jump to the mistaken conclusion that I am upset by what they said.
I'm not at all, I'm just thinking about their question before answering.
Like in so many of the former comments, thinking gets mistaken for anger.
Even my husband will exclaim "Look at that frown! I only asked ......"



myth
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21 Feb 2012, 9:30 am

It's so frustrating... any time I am any amount of excited or addled or any unidetifyable emotion that is NOT anger and my voice becomes animated or raised, everyone freaks out and tells me to calm down and thinks that I'm super pissed. My husband does this to me quite a bit lately and insists that I'm extremely upset and yelling at him even though I tell him that I'm not. Why does everyone this always happen to me? There is a HUGE difference between animated talking and angry yelling. My mom was always loud and animated and I could tell the difference between that and anger, though few other people could. But my husband's family has a loud baseline of conversation too. I really thought he would be the one to understand or at least be able to believe when I say I'm not angry.
He actually tries to tell me that I am angry and I just can't identify it properly. :?
But I don't feel angry. I just feel.. midly agitated or excited.. or something.


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hartzofspace
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21 Feb 2012, 11:42 am

myth wrote:
It's so frustrating... any time I am any amount of excited or addled or any unidetifyable emotion that is NOT anger and my voice becomes animated or raised, everyone freaks out and tells me to calm down and thinks that I'm super pissed. My husband does this to me quite a bit lately and insists that I'm extremely upset and yelling at him even though I tell him that I'm not. Why does everyone this always happen to me? There is a HUGE difference between animated talking and angry yelling. My mom was always loud and animated and I could tell the difference between that and anger, though few other people could. But my husband's family has a loud baseline of conversation too. I really thought he would be the one to understand or at least be able to believe when I say I'm not angry.
He actually tries to tell me that I am angry and I just can't identify it properly. :?
But I don't feel angry. I just feel.. midly agitated or excited.. or something.

This happens to me, too. I've had counselors tell me that it is OK to cry or rant, or whatever, and I wasn't feeling anything but enthusiasm at the time. :? worse, I've had people get angry with me, thinking that I was already angry with them! :roll:


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myth
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21 Feb 2012, 1:27 pm

^ Yeah that's what always happens to me. People start getting snappy and angry with me and I'm like "why are you angry :?" and they're like "You yelled at me first!! !"

Actually, I can't really say "people" it's almost exclusively husbands that have done things like this to me because they're the only ones I have actual conversations with. No reason to get animated during small talk. Do people expect you to speak in an extremely calm manner at all times? Isn't that called monotone :?


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