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christinaberry
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Joined: 6 Jan 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 1

07 Jan 2013, 10:55 am

I never imagined my father had Aspergers until my psychiatrist pointed it out. I always thought that the way my father behaved toward me was my fault. It is very difficult for children, especially, I suspect, daughters, to have a father who has Aspergers since they are emotionally distant and seemingly unloving and not proud of the child. A daughter often needs these things from her father in order to develop self-esteem, confidence, and future relationships that are loving, equal, etc. My relationships have typically been ones with either much older men, abusive, or emotionally distant men. At 35, I am single and have no children even though I long for these things. I always wanted the approval and affection of my father, but am realizing that that is not going to happen, and I can't find it in other men either. I need to find it in myself.

How wonderful that there is a site like this where adult children of Aspergers parents can comment on their experiences, etc!



literalgirl
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Joined: 29 May 2015
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29 May 2015, 1:26 pm

I am an undiagnosed aspie with a 7 year old. I seem distant sometimes and sometimes when my son wants to hug it feels weird. When he is loud it hurts my ears. He does most of the talking in our conversations. I'm a very picky eater and unfortunately he is now too. Everyday I want to hug him more, say I love you more but for some reason it is hard for me to express myself unless I write. He understands me and my weirdness. I show him love in unconventional ways some would say he is very spoiled. I'm very strict on vocabulary and reading BC I never want him to be miss understood as I always am. To be honest I think most Aspie parents want to teach their children to be "normal" but how can we if we think we are "normal". For along time and still now from time to time I think everyone else is the problem.
I won't have any more children just because I'd be afraid he maybe aspie and live this lonely life I have. I'm glad I had him though...he is everything to me, refreshing, those hugs and kisses may feel weird but I'd never go a day or night without it, he's the only reason I can keep a job, he is really my best friend BC I don't have any friends.
My point is we want to be " perfect" but we can only be ourselves. I can be a very rude person but I NEVER do with my son. My mom treated me bad when I was young BC I was different and she couldn't understand it. If my son annoys me I be quite or step away until I'm OK and then I let him tell me how he feels (I try not to inrerupt which is hard) then I say how I feel. This paragraph is prolly all over the place...forgive me...its an aspie thing