How do you deal with clingy/needy people?

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tombo12boar
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12 Jul 2015, 2:48 pm

"Then I hope you don't expect anyone to ever be a proverbial shoulder to cry on for you..."

my two cents. I think there are times in our life when we are the crier and times when we can be the shoulder. And a person with issues themselves can't always be the shoulder. Some unhealthy people look for another crier so they can be miserable together. Someone who knows they are not a good support is only being honest.



auntblabby
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12 Jul 2015, 7:47 pm

IMHO, it would behoove us people on the spectrum to be more accommodating to each other.



nick007
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13 Jul 2015, 1:52 am

I am needy & clingy within a relationship & I was also attracted to needy & clingy people. My girlfriend's kind of needy & clingy & it doesn't bother me.


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cathylynn
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13 Jul 2015, 2:01 am

set boundaries such as, "i have only twenty minutes to talk right now." no lies or explanations necessary.don't shut them out, but don't let them overwhelm you.



Malaise
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13 Jul 2015, 10:21 am

Currently I just deny them attention until they move on. Short, disinterested answers. Invisible on chat programs. "Busy". "I'll look into it." Politely acknowledge an emotional topic, then redirect the conversation.

Talking it out doesn't work in my experience. If I thought things could change by telling someone that they're asking something unreasonable, then I would. I can't save anyone from their sadness or listen to them complain for hours a day.

I prefer friendships where we handle our own problems and stop to help each other when we can. I put a lot into trying to help the people close to me or cheer them up, just not the ones who grab on and start making demands without once thinking of me.