I'm 25 and I'm still bullied by kids

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Hey I wanted to thank you all for the replies. Some of them were really good and I appreciate the good advice. When I said 'traumatic', that might be an exaggeration - but it does worry me a great deal.

I took a long hard look in the mirror today and decided I could definately do with improving my posture and start to work out a bit - though I've never really 'worked out' in my life, I think it's time I did something about it.

It also helped me to realize that if I'm giving off all this 'wrong' body language to kids, everyone will be picking up on it.

Once again thank you all.

Working out is hard work(I guess that's kind of obvious, though. It's called working out, not resting out.). Doing just a few pushups a day won't help much. You really have to sweat to feel any difference, and you have to follow the proper diet. That's why I don't work out at all.

Listen the stuff youre going through sounds alot like the stuff i went through when i was in school. i don't really have any earth shattering advice for you exept know that it has to end sometime. it won't be like this forever

I was going to say "NO - its just bad for an adult to hit a kid. If you hurt them, you may end up facing a parent or police. If you don't you could be worse off. If an adult whacked one of my kids I would want to retaliate one way or another, even if they provoked it.

But ... I live in a very middle class suburb. Are you in a tough area? I don't know what you should do. Now I am confused.

I haven't had to face your situation, but in uncomfortable situations, I try to imagine what someone I admire may do in response and try to imitate it.

If you live in the south, memorize some lines from the book of redemption
and act like an evangical
They will probably be frightened after that incident.

Very true! Are you an ex-pat?

wow, thats the worst case of passive resistence iv ever heard of.

i was considering the username pedophobe as more of a joke earlyer. but i see people here actually tend to potentially be that.


i think the headphone thing is really good advise. as not only are you giving of "vulnerable" body language, i wouldnt be surprised if you stare at the ground with a glazy look deep in thoughts no? that makes you stand out, and seem vulnerable. also thinkers or dreamers usually arent fighters.
i think they will pick someone like that, that seems in his own mind io looking around, due to different attitude associated with that.
but with the headphones you are suddenly allowd to drift off somewhat.


best thing would be to uninterestingly notice them and look for a bit, just to see what there doing or something, without showing any actual interest. and then just put your nose in the air or something and forget about them, regardless of their reaction to your presence. dont look away cause they look at you, thats the most clear sign of vulnerability.
but i know this can be hard to do if you get nervous. a little trick could be to pretend being curious about something you see somewhere else not close to them, and (not overly) interestingly look at that whilst walking in a steady pace. if you dont show sign of anxiaty, if your bodylanguage isnt too problematic, and its not all too unlikely your looking at that interestedly (for example if you need to crack you neck to keep looking that way, or if you all of a sudden get interested in something you couldnt have seen prior to getting interested, so better look unnterestedly to your side, and then try to look through a window or some such thing), i think it should work like a charm, unless they see you do that more then twice, or if they allready know you.

also, try talking to someone you fully trust about this, and ask if theres any specific bodylanguage twist you should work on. like for example, if you have a very unusual walk..

anyway, goodluck

I don't think it's over doing it to say this is traumatic for you. It sounds like it actually is and I have PTSD, so I know trauma and all teh messed of stuff it can do to you. You obviously feel that these kids rob you of your personal power and that makes you feel vulnerable, and that it's certainly traumatic.

I sometimes feel anxious being around teenagers, which is strange since I am a teacher. In school it's fine, and I can roll with their nonsense. The lines are clearly draw - I'm the adult and they're the kids. There's the admin and security to back me up on that if I need it. But out in the world, on the street for example, it's a little different. So I can understand.

Have you considered getting some counseling? Just talking about this, so you don't let it dominate your thinking would probably help, and a counselor could help you with some behavior modification and learning other skills and tools to help you with this. There's really no reason for you to live in fear of strangers who you rationally know don't poise any real threat to you. You just need to work at retraining your brain to reprioritize these things and keep them in a realistic perspective, rather than turning some random kid's meaningless insult into such a powerful thing in your psyche. Don't beat yourself up about this - these are subconsciously learned, involuntary responses. In time and with some patience, practice and the right tools, you'll be able to overcome it.

Reckoner, I feel EXACTLY the same way you do. In fact, I've been known for going off about how in today's society, adults are held hostage and helpless to other people's children.

It's like, I shouldn't have to stand somewhere and be assaulted by someone's children "horseplaying" in public. Yet I'm supposed to just ignore it, despite the physical threat they are creating.

People like Reckoning and I have rights too. One of those rights is to not be tyrannized by someone's Satanic acting little brat. If that's a bit extreme for most people, they should consider these parents who leave their child in a store alone. Who blame the victim of their uncontrolled child, when their child runs crying to mommy after verbally abusing another adult. When I grew up I was afraid of strangers, these days kids think strangers are their personal punching bags. It's out of control, and it's not unreasonable that an adult shouldn't fear going out for someone's child coming up to them, and innocently trumatizing an adult because their mommy didn't see fit to teach them how to behave like a human being.

The childrens rights acts that were supposed to protect them from genuine harm have gone too far, I think. Years ago, kids wouldn't have dared shout abuse at an adult, because they knew the response would be a clip round the ear (and then probably another one from their parents when they found out). Now the kids know nobody's - literally - allowed to lay a finger on them, so they do what they like.

I don't think it has to come to physical harm to a child, if parents would just teach their children that strangers aren't like their family. That strangers may harm them. Rather than this, "Don't worry, mommy will take care of that mean mean person!", overprotectiveness of their child.

Now we have society in a position where these parents, feel they have a right to get angry whenever someone says they don't need to babysit their child. Everywhere is the daycare for parents today, and if something happens to their child it's always someone else's fault. Parents need to be held responsible for their children. Most shops today don't want to do that, because it might mean they loose a customer. I think that there is alot of dysfunction in society, because people have to consistantly fear the wrath of parents who want to act as if they're a saint, battling off the demons that constantly try to harm their angel baby. Sound overdramatic to you, well they thrive on drama. "Oooh myy babbbbbyyy...oh Looorrrd, whyy...I just turned away for a minute!" You know they weren't even watching their child, they didn't turn away for a minute, they turned away for 5. Who's to say Little Johnny/Jenny will stand around and wait patiently for mommy?

There used to be places for children, now every place is a perspective Chuck E Cheese. If you don't like it, then you should leave..how dare you say children can't stay in a resturant, scream and squall, kick your seat. How darrrrreee you! There is no talking to parents who think that because they had a child, that some how puts them in a state where they're santlier and above the rest of society. That nobody can talk down to the goddess mother, or she'll be angry.

If you were still a kid, I'd tell you to fight them because it usually makes them leave you alone, but now you could get into really bad trouble for doing that.

Might not work unless you are very brutal.

Yes, don't try it until you've burned down a village. Or poisoned its water supply.

This is a great way to combat teasing I've found out. Totally throw it back at them with an unexpected response. They are looking for a negative response from their actions and words. If you react in a pleasant way (even if inside you really don't think so) it totally throws them off. If they percieve your recieption of their comment was positive, they are totally thrown off their track, and they must totally re-think their strategy on how to ridicule you. For the typical NT mind, this comes at quite a challenge!