Is there anyone who has Aspergers and is also social?

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Are you good with social situations?
Yes 13%  13%  [ 18 ]
No 32%  32%  [ 43 ]
Meh... Sometimes... 54%  54%  [ 73 ]
Total votes : 134

GrantingtheRant
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13 May 2012, 11:18 pm

I'm only good when they're my friends or at the very least people around my age. Outside of that, I'm incredibly awkward and talking to people who are much older than me freaks me out. I also don't cope well when the other person is a chatterbox, no matter what age, since they never really listen.



KnarlyDUDE09
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03 Jul 2012, 4:14 pm

It takes me a good while to seem capable in a social situation (but not completely comfortable/capable)- probably a few years or so. I still don't make eye contact with anyone- family or friends. I'm also quite good at faking being good at socializing; over the years I've spent observing my peers social interaction has allowed me to identify NT speech patterns; tone of voice, gestures etc. I've found a subtle way of 'faking eye contact, so that nobody notices (unless, of course they invade my personal space and stand just in close proximity of my face); I look at their nose or between their eyes, although I still have to look away in another direction, a lot in order to concentrate...I still ALWAYS manage to seem 'awkward' to both myself and others.

Although, when I meet new people, (which I hate doing, by the way) Asperger's becomes VERY apparent and I become twice as awkward as I usually am; selective mutism, no (fake) eye contact...no social interaction with them whatsoever.



KnarlyDUDE09
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03 Jul 2012, 4:21 pm

ChaunceyGardiner wrote:
I can definitely fake it for periods at a time, it can make it really uncomfortable however because the social interaction always ends up exhausting me and then I find excuses to let relationships deteriorate to avoid the stress that goes along with interacting with most NTs.
It's maybe even more frustrating that I can at times build relationships but get way too overwhelmed to actually go out in a social context on any regular basis, as of now I have no solution.
That's exactly what I do, and that's one reason why I don't go out to places much, either- the other being that I just don't really want to. That's also why I never stay friends with my peers after leaving schools.



IndieSoul
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03 Jul 2012, 6:23 pm

I can be very social at times, with my family or cousins. I don't really have any close friends but I think I can fake it for a time.

I think it's definitely possible to have AS and be social. We're probably not the type of extroverted social butterflies that light up the room with our presence, but enough to get along and form relationships. I'm the type that stands by the wall at family parties and get-togethers.


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KnarlyDUDE09
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03 Jul 2012, 6:50 pm

IndieSoul wrote:
I can be very social at times, with my family or cousins. I don't really have any close friends but I think I can fake it for a time.

I think it's definitely possible to have AS and be social. We're probably not the type of extroverted social butterflies that light up the room with our presence, but enough to get along and form relationships. I'm the type that stands by the wall at family parties and get-togethers.
Me too! :)



PlainJane28
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28 Jul 2012, 3:46 am

I couldn't socialize if my life depended on it, or at least correctly. For my entire life I've been almost totally oblivious to social cues and how to direct conversations. It wasn't until I went to a specialist that I was able to even get a sense or make sense of it. Although I'm fine with my family.



MusicOnMyMind
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29 Jul 2012, 1:02 am

I only have a few close friends, and it's taken them a lot of work to get close to me. Bless them. However, I can be cordial to everyone else. I am involved in a few extracurricular activities, where I am a leader and a team player. I've even been to school dances (even though I was very scared and practically clung to my date's sleeve the whole time). So I guess you could say I'm kinda social, even though I have anxiety.



Kinme
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29 Jul 2012, 8:55 am

USUALLY... Not always. When I need to, I do it; I don't always enjoy socializing.



tinky
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29 Jul 2012, 11:53 am

It takes me a few months to a year before I can become comfortable with a person. People have often noted that i seem very withdrawn upon meeting me and later become this crazy, random girl. Eye contact is not fantastic any time during my knowing any person, really. I'm pretty bad at social cues and understanding when a person is trying to become my friend. You have to be very firm and obvious with me. I had a problem in high school where a girl thought i hated her because i kept ignoring her social cues involving friendship.


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largosan
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30 Jul 2012, 12:40 pm

I'm pretty comfortable around my DnD group...



screamingsilently
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31 Jul 2012, 9:05 pm

Sometimes I'm really outgoing and social I guess, but only with someone I feel very close to or very comfortable with, which isn't too many people. Other times when I'm around others I just find myself to be lost for words 100% of the time and don't know what to do.