How does having Aspergers give you a hard time?

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ASPartOfMe
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12 Jun 2014, 12:21 am

Some of this difficulties are directly as a result of Autism, while other are not Autisms fault but how other react to Autistic traits.

Being different (not wrong) in the social areas people generally care about most. A lot of the other issues are related to that.

Employment went pretty good considering I have moderately severe Aspergers but it has been way below what I expected.

Lack of Independence heavily related to above and the other issues.

Not getting to some of my special interests because I am spending so much time on other special interests.

Lack of sleep and odd sleeping hours due to above.

My living spaces are a mess. It is embarrassing when other people see it.

Poor multitasking abilities.

Not being able to do things fast.

Slow to accept necessary change. An advantage is I do not accept bad change

Fear of teling people who I am and backlash due to perceived overdiagnosis, lazy, excuse maker, faker for money or factitious disorders


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12 Jun 2014, 12:36 am

Joe90 wrote:
The way it isolates me from having a social life.

But now I have changed my views. I now believe that if you're an unlucky person (things always seem to happen against you), then that is what makes life hard, whether you're Aspie or NT or what. But if you're a person who always seems to be in the right places at the right time and just happen to come across the right people and things just fall into place for you without having to go out of your way to make the effort, then life is more enjoyable, even if you're an Aspie.

Unfortunately I happen to be one of those unlucky people, socially. I hear of some Aspies out there who find the right group of people they can rely on or meet the right person and fall in love, and things like that just don't happen to me. I am 24, and most people of my age are starting out in relationships - even other Aspies that I know! And I just haven't found that person yet, and I've been positive and optimistic enough, and now it's got to a point where I feel like fate is against me and doesn't want me to be happy.


That's called coincidence, my dear. I understand though, I often struggle with this theory that things happen for reasons. I can get really delusional and obsessive about it. It helps with my anxiety.


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12 Jun 2014, 12:43 am

B19 wrote:
How you see yourself (as not having it together) and how you come across on WP (as someone who is very insightful) makes me wonder if you give yourself enough credit for your strengths and abilities?


Was that directed at me? If so, thanks. But how we act online can be different from how we are in the real world. Basically, when I'm communicating online I'm in calm sensory environment, often alone. When it comes to talking face to face with people I'm bombarded by very basic everyday senses. I have strengths but those can be affected by my moods, my anxiety, even my hypoglycemia. Social situations seem to speed by me. There's not much time to prepare. I am a rather impulsive person though so sometimes that's enough to get me through it. I have skills but my very poorly treated ADHD symptoms (I at least take fish oil and exercise about 3 times a month) often create this huge barrier to achieving anything with them.

My own views on myself could possibly be incorrect with how I actually am, which is why they have me on medication.


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12 Jun 2014, 12:45 am

limau wrote:
Identify the single & most depressing effect of Aspergers on your life.

Total and complete frustration to the point of meltdown at the inability to perform simple, mundane tasks.

Yes, we may think that getting a key to go on a keyring looks easy enough and we have seen other people do it in like 2 seconds, but here we are, half an hour later....

Then, people tell me 'just have patience, you'll get there' as if putting a key on a keyring is a huge life achievement, ya know? yeah, some help would be bloody nice, ever stop to consider that people?



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12 Jun 2014, 1:01 am

Jensen wrote:
In unskilled jobs, where you just have to do as you´re told - fast .... and take orders in a normal quick daily language....or follow verbal instructions...or act in unstructured situations (sometimes).

This, so much. I'm a debater and a negotiator, and my practical skills are not all that hot, plus I have the tendency to get slowed down by my perfectionism. I haven't had a single job where this doesn't eventually places me in difficult situations.


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kaiouti
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12 Jun 2014, 1:14 am

its hard for me to make, keep and manage friends.

I wish I had the skillz to function as a normal person with others, I want to date and find love and experience good times and with aspergers I feel Im missing out on alot of social activities and generally being accepted.



Jack184
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19 Jun 2016, 1:46 am

For me, it's just loneliness. Feeling like there's no one who understands who you are or who sees things the way you do. I have had friendships in my life, but they're usually high maintenance and unstable. Sometimes I swear that all the friends I've had in my life have had mental health problems. Lately it's been worse, my core group of friends has just been drifting apart and I seem to be the one everyone's drifting away from. Sometimes I wish it felt like there was someone there for me. But a lot of the time, I seem to be able to manage things on my own.



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19 Jun 2016, 5:16 am

For me its the fact that I'll never be able to have a career and I'll never be able to hold down a relationship for long enough to start a family.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 147 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 68 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

RAADS-R (Average score for males with asd=148.7)
Total=170 - Language=17 - Social relatedness=65 - Sensory/motor=52 - Circumscribed interests=36


TheSilentOne
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19 Jun 2016, 8:26 am

Its a tie between being lonely all the time because I can't make friends and having trouble keeping jobs.


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ZombieBrideXD
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19 Jun 2016, 8:37 am

I guess adjusting to change is one of the biggest issues because its part of what caused me to drop out of school. Identifying and responding to emotions is another big struggle for me because i end up bottling up my emotions or just thinking everything is a panic attack. Personal hygiene is another i couldnt take care of my hair and had to cut it off and people ridicule me for wearing the same clothes for days. Controling my anger is another and i end up becoming violent when frustrated and angry. Socailizing was more of a problem when i wanted to make friends because i would get so frustrated with myself when someone wouldnt want to hang out with me because im too awkward and loud. Reading comprehension was a big problem in school.sensory issues make going out in public extremely difficult if the facility has flourecent lights and too much people i will go through sensory overload and not beable to function without any help and talking becomes extremely difficult.

The list goes on...


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 170 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 43 of 200
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danch
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20 Jun 2016, 7:50 am

I'm dumb, insipid, perpetually stiff and obsess over lame things.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 91 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 122 of 200
RAADS-R Score: 91