I got hurt by an ex

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How do you recover from a relationship where your whole life was dominated? I would literally go whatever the reason was.
I was like a door mat and she enjoyed the fun she got out of it at the time. I never knew it at the time but I wish I did before it got out of hand.
Now I know that any love will hurt.

I'm very sorry for your experience

The bright side is that you have walked out of that kind of relationship now. Try to dedicate some time for yourself, think things through and try to enjoy the newly gained independence. Think what you truly want and need in your life.

Love is not supposed to hurt... Nobody deserves an abusive relationship.

I don't know what I want, also I've always believed I deserved it. Happened a long timed ago but the scars remain.

You didn't deserve it... Now you do have good time to think want you want. You ought to learn to love yourself before trying to love another person.

*Hugs*

How do I do that? I've heard it a lot but don't really know how I am supposed to do that, I have accepted myself but I do not love myself.

I've got a different approach. It's a strong approach. You will become strong.

Don't take romance seriously for a while. Online dating sites are great. Just go get 'em, tiger!

You'll get rejected a lot. And you'll find some girls that are very loving and affirming. And you'll find more. And more. And then you wake up one morning with an amazing realization. You know all there is to know about dating. You want to try a serious relationship again.

Because by this time, the girls are not bullies any more. They're the ignorant ones and you are the smart, savvy, experienced one.

No offense to the people who use it and are who they say they are but the good ones turn out to be like a pervy man and not the real deal. By good ones I am refering to my type.

I can sympathize with you. It's been 6 months for me without him, and I still cry every day. I went on a blog website called Baggage Reclaim. It's been helping me sort through some of my issues, getting some of my self esteem back, setting up some boundaries which I never had before, and I’m learning to recognize red flag behavior. Do to my Aspiness, I’ve been taken advantage of a lot.

I personally don't think it's a good idea dating if you are not over an ex. It makes you emotionally unavailable, and you could potentially hurt someone else if they fall in love with you. I would not want that to happen. I couldn't imagine making someone feel this way over me.

I'm so sorry you’re going through this. I know it's painful.

PastFixations, we are not born thinking we are worth less than other individuals. people - in many cases our parents - teach us to think less of ourselves. i think a good way to break that cycle is to get therapy that seeks to uncover the ways you may have been victimised prior to that relationship as there may have been other experiences that led to you ending up in a doormat role.

So you're confident early in the relationship. And submissive later on.

Looking to the future, you want to be able to catch when the transition occurs. That is when it becomes an unhealthy relationship.

See how long you can maintain a healthy relationship. When it sours, make another healthy relationship.

For me, I did rant on a bit and I appreciate the sympathy but I did get the help which means I'm over the person but not the bond that I had and I realise that it is necessary to find a new chapter to grow stronger.
I guess I would be confident at the start but falter because it feels as if it's over after day one. Anywhere else other than online.

You might step sideways before you step forward. Backpacking through Europe might be a little much, but something fun and interesting can take your mind off the situation. And give you the time to heal.

PastFixations, you're not the only one. I had my heart broken big time over last summer. The last girl I talked to, didn't like me in a way in which we would be in a relationship. I found that out the hard way, when a guy who she never even met, had his arm around her in front of me. I was good friends with her until that happened, so much so, that I even asked her to my prom! Ha! But it sucks all the same, and now I'm having trouble getting over my heartbreak, too.