"You'd be so pretty if you tried."

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I absolutely hate when people say this to me. All I wanna do I scream "Do you have any idea how hard I had to try just to get dressed period?" Sure let me try a little harder while you sit by and judge. Pfft!

My own mother says stuff like this to me all the time: "You should wear makeup more often, you really look good." What, I'm not good enough without it? "See how nice you look when you make an effort?" I make an effort every day. Sometimes I'll make an extra effort, like if I'm going to a formal dance or something, but I'm not going to spend hours every morning styling my hair and makeup just to gain the approval of others. When I don't wear skirts or dresses, my father asks me how I expect to attract a boyfriend. I certainly hope that, should I ever attract any sort of mate, he or she will be able to see beyond the way I dress.

I get this, and funnily enough, it is usually off guys!! Women tend to tell me that it is fortunate that I don't have to wear make-up in order to be as pretty, but get asked if I like it? I often have to point out that I cannot wear make-up all that often as it is bad for my skin and eyes. I just think its rude, and my sister would agree with me on that one.

I interpret it as "I have observed that you have some nice features but my definition of beauty includes some additional steps that you arent taking."

So you dont yet fit their definition of beauty but you could if you cared..

...I dont

I like dressing like a dude.
I wear black eyeshadow
I wear a padlock around my neck
I need new bars for my ears
People age
Beauty fades

That's how I view it.

To do what ?

I tend to favor mineral makeup as it looks more natural, and I prefer my glasses to contacts because they're too much of a pain to deal with. I would rather enhance my natural features instead of trying to hide them. Even the NT's in my family prefer glasses, as I mostly started wearing them when I was in my 20's and realized I was having trouble seeing things in the distance. As for clothing, I prefer pants more than skirts, and as long as something is cleaned and not wrinkled, I wear it. I don't really like to wear high heels that often, as I think they're uncomfortable, plus I need arch support as well. Once my hair starts to reach my shoulders, I know it's time for a cut as I have a lot of fine hair, as it looks dirty even when I just washed it if it gets too long. I also have it in layers as it gives my hair more volume than having it all a single length.

I do paint my toenails bright colors, but at most, my fingernails get a nude color as I use my hands so much that the polish chips more, and they're less noticeable when the color is closer to my natural nails.

I get people saying ''you would look more feminine if....'' to me. My friend says it a lot now. Although I know I don't look masculine, my friend still thinks I should do more. I should wear more jewelly, (I wear 1 ring but she seems to think I should wear at least 3), I should grow my nails and put on nail-varnish otherwise ''other people don't like it'', I should wear a shaped bra so it looks like I've got one on, and I should put on mascara and other eye make-up, and have my hair shaped round my face. It's nice of her to help out, but I'm quite happy how I am, and I think that doing all that will just be putting more pressure on to myself, and because I'm quite independant-minded, I'm not wired for extra pressure. Some days I feel more feminine than other days. Some days my hair does go nice and I make the best of it, and other days I don't look my best but still presentable enough to blend in and appear feminine. I'm more comfortable in a T-shirt and jeans and a hoodie, but a girl's hoodie, not a ''chavvy'' hoodie. Some hoodies are in fashion, like those long ones I see girls wearing now, and I wear those myself, with skinny jeans and boots or just stylish trainers, which I am happy in. Doesn't make me stand out, doesn't make me less feminine, and makes me feel trendy but comfortable at the same time.

My friend is right about necklaces - I should perhaps put on a necklace because I have got some that are just sitting there on the shelf, but I keep forgetting, and I find it so hard to get necklaces on and off and I stand there fiddling for ages then start getting irritable because I can't get the necklace on or off, which I can do without. But otherwise I am rather happy in what I wear.

To me, the way society obsesses about looks is sales and media-based. I think we look at each other for various reasons, but wearing certain clothes and accoutrements is based on myriad industries dedicated to making us believe we are not good enough, with or without their merchandise and cottage industry offshoots. Even the notion of who and what is beautiful changes era by era. Look at oil paintings by the masters or 1930s pre-code films.

Saying you'd-be-pretty-if is also very subjective to personal taste. The beholder has his or her own bias as to what constitutes beauty which may not necessarily coincide with mine or my loved ones.

I never got the whole makeup thing, though--it feels gross and gives me rashes. My hair has to be easy to take care of and out of my face--so my hair is never in fashion. Non-organic fabrics are a must, as are loose-fitting clothes. And I have never been able to wear heels--it's been sneakers and other flat comfortable shoes since I can remember.

People should really just mind their own business. I don't go around telling people they shouldn't wear heels or makeup or spend money they don't have on the latest fashions. Except for those who know me well and are trying to help me with my job or some social issue, people need to keep their op-idiot-ions to themselves.

When people say that i just brush them off.
I mean what is society's view of "pretty" anyways?

You gotta know how to apply make up which takes waay too long to be worth it(hell if it only took a minute of my time its still wouldnt be worth it because i am not having trouble getting dudes with out it), and its expensive and the cheap make up wears off insanely fast and if you dont use it after a year you should throw it away because it has an expiration date.

They want you to have nice looking hair, you know, not real short or long, in natural colors probably and in appropriate styles. and hair care products are stupid as well, all you need is shampoo and maybe conditioner if your hair is dry. Like all that mousse and gel and straighten creme, ugh stupid. There are plenty of easy and fast ways to do your hair that wont make you late for every where you go. And those power tools we use on our hair (curlers, straighteners, crimpers) are even worse, they damage your hair, cause you to get split ends faster, are expensive, and break easily. Then when you have split ends you go to a hair salon to get your hair cut and that costs money when you could just as easily cut it at home.

And then they want you to dress how its acceptable to dress, in typical girl clothes, possibly even following the fashion world fads. and in their mind pretty isnt your amazing collection of corsets, or your baggy pants and t shirts or even your long skirts and cardigans.

they want you to be like a sheep before they can even call you beautiful? sorry but no, i wanna be pretty because a guy loves how i look in my work out clothes or likes how i just brush my hair and leave it be after wards. I wanna feel special because I actually am special, not because I fell into all these stupid categories that people think I should be in to be considered pretty.

All. The. F***ing. Time.

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