When Internet Dating Doesn't Work

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Mr_Axelrod,

As far as I understand, you believe conventionally "hot" girls wouldn't want to give you a chance, so you want to go after those "alternative" girls? Well, like spongy said, that's a major fail, because alternative girls can be snobbish and egoistical and they reject guys they dislike just like "popular/mainstream" hot girls do.

Someone's dressing style, music taste or even interests don't determine the way a person approaches the relationships. It's true that these girls might want a guy to be different than the "mainstream girls" do (though this might not always be true), but it doesn't mean much.

In short, don't go after these girls just because you think mainstream hotties won't give you a chance. Always go after an individual, regardless of her style, and try to find a compatible person. I know it's difficult to tell this on a dating website, but I have no other advice to give.

^^ I disagree, this isn't the reality.

The highly hollywood-like attractive girls are more likely to be picker.

The average/normally attractive girls might be as picky at the beginning of their 20s but are more likely to give up many standards later no.

It's better for the OP to stick to the latter.

Get your profile up here, or on reddit's /r/okcupid. Those guys are fantastic at reviewing profiles and can get you into shape. Your success is highly determined by the quality of your profile and pictures.

Old way is still the best. You must go out. Just like I said in another thread. Go out to a place that revolves around your interests. If that doesn't work out, try places where outcasts generally hang out as long as it's not a place where you will get roughed up.

If the places have bad sensory effects on you, if you have sensory problems with certain colors or lights, if the place has at least another place to escape all of that try it.

If you are into video games, game conventions.

Find local asperger meetups. Do not go into it thinking you are doing it for women though as usually people can sense desperation. Think of it as a step in a new direction. Someone may inform you of a neat hang out that won't be overwhelming.

AND AND AND
BE CAREFUL

Mainstream girls tend to disguise themselves as alternative girls

ALL THE TIME

You don't know. Don't go into it expecting to be welcomed fully. Go for the experience.

Thinking about rejection, you can get rejected anywhere. Even not feel accepted by other aspies. Most people aren't really welcoming at first. They must warm up to you. Keeping yourself at home always limits you and your experiences from which can take you to new roads not yet traveled. Think of it as a rpg game. If you start the game thinking, well I'm just not going to be good at this you shut it down. If you start the game with the attitude of take it as it comes, you get invited to do multiple quests which leads you to gaining new levels, more experience.

There are always going to be shakey grounds you are walking on. Those shakey grounds are obstacles to overcome. Which leads you to feeling accomplished for facing it rather than retracting into a shell like a turtle.

You can ponder the outcome and come up with all negative conclusions. If that is the case, that is where the problem is. You are stuck in a self sabotage limbo. That is usually designed by others who have hurt you, belittled you, made you feel worthless, made you feel stupid and/or just minimized any of your achievements. Those people are like quicksand. They don't care if you succeed. They want to pull you down just to say "SEE! Told you that you can't do it!"

You will fall several times. Understand this. Apart of developing coping skills is to use trial and error to figure out your own brain, how you could maneuver around what holds you back. You can't do it unless you try.

wow, that is very inspiring ^^^^

online eating. Mmmm virtual food mmmm.

Yeah, I try not to play games much anymore as they are addictive but they have taught me some things.

When you feel rejected how long do you think about that rejection before trying again?

Here's the thing. Stop thinking about scoping for relationships. Go for the experience. If it leads you somewhere and to someone who warms up to you, bingo. If it doesn't, at least you won't get as disgruntled because you didn't come into it with expectations.

WhiteWidow, you are 21 years old and handsome. Life is not over for you. You are not in your 80's, you're young. New experiences, new adventure.

Our brains analyze too much to the point to where our nerves betray us. Sometimes do something silly just to loosen up a little. Do not care what others are thinking even if you sense the same old rejection scheme. You're not in it for them. You're in it for the experience. Whoever wants to join your train can come aboard and for those who yawn at trains, well that's their prerogative.