Do female aspies have an easier life in society?

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I didn't say whether or not you said it was a good thing, but your perspective is skewed.

These things are intended to prevent women from being independent. Finding a job was out of the question because women were expected to manage a full time job in maintaining the household. And these days, it's not true - these days a lot of women have to find full time work along with their partners, and are often still expected to maintain the household (housecleaning, childcare, shopping, cooking, etc). And that's on top of the wage gap in which women do the same or more work for less pay than men.

Being a stay at home housewife is not "easy," and not necessarily easier than anything else. Being a working housewife is much more common these days and even more difficult. I'm not saying that men don't do any of these things either, but the weight of expectations is typically on women.

Being sought in relationships rather than seeking them (although this isn't true, either - the expectation may be there but women do actively seek relationships. Even if they're trying to attract a man they're putting a lot of work into it) is not the easy way out. For some reason, guys think all women have to do is look pretty and wait for a guy to ask them out, and then it's all yay relationship or whatever, but it's actually a lot of work for both participants. When you get to autistic women, you get into: Do these women know how to tell that someone is interested in them? Do they care? Do they know how to maintain a relationship one starts because more is often expected of women once the relationship starts?

That's just relationships at any rate. Your perspective on what is expected from women is very limited, and it's interesting that when discussing whether it's easier or harder for women, you focus entirely on relationships. Plus, you completely ignore sexism, which has a more profound impact on women in many (if not all) aspects of life, and sexism doesn't simply disappear when one is disabled.

The perspective that relative difficulties between genders can be summed up in terms of relationship expectations is not an informed perspective. It's also a perspective I can't relate to at all. If my greatest difficulties were finding a relationship, I'd probably be much more capable than I am now.

Also, regarding relationships, you're ignoring lesbians and asexuals - the former only date other women, and the later often don't date anyone.

Bit hard to be educated if you've spent your schooling being humiliated/beaten /spent most of your life suffering the effects of un DX brain injury

But thanks for the constructive criticism.

I do look good. I look the way that Mick Avory did in Mid 1964.

What am I supposed to do? Offer women's studies 101 every time someone says something that inane? Anyway, I spent much of my schooling being humiliated and bullied, and I never got very far in college (as in never past the second term), so comparing education levels strikes me as pointless.

What you said: You simplified the differences between men and women to nothing more than what women are expected to do in a relationship - and not even the entirety of a relationship. You narrowed it down to "don't be expensive and don't nag" (yes I paraphrased). Why do you think you deserve more thought in a rebuttal than you put into your assertion?

I don't

All this comes down to sexism, and I don't buy it that things are harder on women, this is why:

The primary areas of concern in sexism against women are not getting paid as much, expectations of subservience, getting hired for the same job and being respected doing the same work as a man.

The primary areas of concern in sexism against me- oh wait, there are no areas of concern, despite the fact that men make up almost the entire suicide population, the homeless, the soldiers, the workers in dangerous jobs, the conscripts, the expendable, the drug addicts, that almost all victims of violent crime are men...If this were the case for women in some third world country there would be international outcry, condemnation from the world for it's unabashed cruelty to women. But for men? just another day.

It's not considered sexism when things are slanted against men, it's just life, the rat race - but if a woman finds herself being beaten in the street it is due to sexist culture being propogated. I think there is a huge sexist culture going against men that teachs them to be expendable, and I think we've built up a whole international movement devoted to feminism and decided that if it's only happening to women: it's sexism, but if it's only happening to men?..well it's just natural.

In a word, the average sexism a woman goes through: stuff like not getting paid as much, being treated differently - seems like small time stuff compared to every male in Switzerland being conscripted.

No, this isn't all that sexism is about. Sexism is also about reproductive justice, rape culture, etc. Those expectations of subservience often involved (and still involve) violence.



Your analysis is off. You're ignoring race, disability, economic class, and other factors leading into these things. And there is outcry about these things. There's a lot of it. It's just not framed as "men's rights" because it's usually about men of color, men with disabilities, working class or poor men, and so on.

One thing about victims of violent crime, by the way: Almost all perpetrators of that violent crime are men as well.



How many of those conscripts are being sent off to fight in wars, by chance? Switzerland has not been involved in a war since 1815.

I am not arguing conscription is okay, and anti-conscription activism actually really does happen:

http://www.foxnews.com/wires/2008Mar25/ ... ms,00.html

Anyway, as I said above, that is a narrow definition of sexism.

"Men's rights activism" is primarily a ton of bullshit based on appropriating everything from the idea of feminism to claim that men as a class are oppressed for being men, to the struggles of distinct populations - for example, claiming that the large number of men in prisons is due to anti-male prejudice when the men making such an argument are usually white and middle class, and are generally not likely to go to prison unless they do something really awful. Most of the men in prison are black and/or have some kind of mental illness. Much of the violence against males has to do with other males committing violence against them, and most of that violence is violence that someone like you is probably very unlikely to ever experience. And most of it has reasons different from violence committed against women (which is often committed against women because, in some part, they are women).

That doesn't mean anything you said is invalid as a cause. A lot of people are involved in those causes, as I said above - but they're not done in a way to center "men" as a class, but to center the populations most vulnerable to those things.

I'm going to leave you with the last word, since I didn't expect this would become a debate.

Anyhoo, I'm not a mens rights person myself, I'm a socialist - I think all sexism stems from class.

LOL @ aussiebloke - some women actually earn the dollars in the relationships.....time to get out of the 1950's and into the current era. I have to admit that I'm "expensive" but I have my own career, rather than relying on a guy to pay for everything.

Its definitely more difficult being a female aspie - the other girls\women notice the slightest flaw in the facade whereas guys really don't care if you aren't using the right body language, or smiling at the right time, or not wanting to listening to stories about babies etc......

It's fine. Like I said, none of the problems you listed were invalid, but most of them have other factors.

wait...i want a word.

Dear Phonic, your brief info says you are 19. It also says you are male, which if true means that you really have no experience on which to base anything you have said. Save the argument for 20 years from now. Go live some life. Also, go read a little bit more about Switzerland....and Israel. Also, read plenty of French and Russian literature. Also, study formal logic.
Remember, the holocaust DID happen.


Dear aussiebloke, i will be reporting you as exhibiting troll behavior. You are responsible for your words whether or not you have a disability. By pleading not guilty due to intellectual incapacity, you consign your rights to someone else who can make proper judgements for you. In this case, the proper action would be to remove your membership, if you really do not have the capacity to determine the impropriety of your words to the extent that is indicated here. Note that there are actual laws regarding defamation, slander, and libel. I'm sure that WrongPlanet would not want to be in danger of lawsuit due to allowing the advertisement of such content.


Dear Verdandi. let's be collegues.

I tend to believe that men have it harder.

Men in general are expected to be "go getters", if you dont have the good job or the status then you are seen as a failure. Aspergers people have difficulty holding down employment a lot of the time, this isnt such a big deal for women, its seen as socially acceptable for them to either not work and be a housewife, or work part time jobs in shops etc.

Also the male social scene relies heavily on sports and being "one of the lads". If you have no interest in football (or whatever the popular sport in your nation) and no skill in such areas then you are persona non grata in most male circles. Male socialising relies heavily on teasing/joking around. Aspie men cant seem to roll with the punches so to speak, they have trouble distinguishing harmless teasing from being picked on. Being sensitive is seen as a weakness in male culture and male aspies usually are.

NO SEXISM PLEASE. if you would like to keep this thread unlocked, please do not engage in generalisations about men or women. it is possible to have this conversation without breaking the rules, and you are expected to do so. an individual has been privately warned also.

thank you.

The correlation of "housewife" to "not work" is false, and economically speaking only having one person working a paid job in a household is often not viable. Also, being a housewife isn't even really paid work, and yet it is often expected whether or not said wife has a job or not. Expectations are actually often higher for women than they are for men in terms of work output versus income.

Also, not all women, especially autistic women, are in relationships. When you're not in a relationship (and may not even want to be in one), work and an income become considerably more important and relevant. Plus, financial dependence on someone else is not an advantage for anyone who is single, married, or otherwise in a relationship. A housewife who has no paid employment has far fewer resources than anyone who has a paid job. Being expected to remain unemployed so that the house can be kept clean and the meals cooked is actually a disadvantage.

What I do wonder is: Why do several men on this thread who says that women have it easier speak strictly in terms of what they believe is expected of women in relationships? Isn't that only one element of people's lives? How does the fact that girls and women with developmental disabilities are more likely to be sexually abused or assaulted play into this (of course, everyone with a developmental disability is at higher risk, but women are still at higher risk than men)? That's only one factor of many.

Or you talk about social expectations among men, but somehow social expectations among women (described repeatedly in this thread) are not relevant?

In most parts of the world, females aren't expected to become independent at all.