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PurpleOctober
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06 Jan 2012, 7:00 pm

I am a self-diagnosed Aspie, so bear with me if this sounds weird or if you don't feel like this sometimes. I could be totally wrong!

Sometimes, I would rather sign (ASL) or use alternative adaptive methods of communication rather than speak. I am totally verbal, I spoke right on time as an infant and I've always been articulate. However, sometimes, the words that I want to say don't want to come out, and sometimes, I don't want to speak. Does anyone else feel like this? I find it really hard to explain to mostly anyone, and it makes me feel really bad sometimes, because I'm so lucky to be able to speak, that I should be totally willing to use this ability...right? I started learning sign language in an effort to adapt this feeling to the real world, and most commonly I'll use sign if it's something very simple, and I don't want to use words. For instance, I'll sign yes/no absentmindedly rather than answer if I'm engrossed in something I'm reading or watching, or doing. Does this make any sense?

PurpleOctober


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pensieve
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06 Jan 2012, 7:07 pm

I only didn't like to talk because of my speech difficulties. These days I just try to ignore them. I can talk well but my sentence organisation is just, well, poor.


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Apera
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06 Jan 2012, 7:43 pm

I've always been a better writer than speaker. I learned a bit of ASL a while ago and found that I preferred some of the conventions, but I am a bit too twitchy to use it regularly.


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MoonMetropolis
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06 Jan 2012, 7:44 pm

Are you insecure about the way you talk or the way your voice sounds?


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PurpleOctober
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06 Jan 2012, 7:51 pm

@MoonMetropolis, I've always been insecure about the way I talk. Since I was little, I've used "big words" and I speak in a flat, literal way, and I tend toward speaking really fast, also. I also hate repeating myself, to the point where I will physically express annoyance without intending to, and it hurts the other person. Which I don't like doing.



Dunnyveg
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06 Jan 2012, 7:51 pm

Purple, I think I understand what you're saying. I have the same problem. Whereas with normal people, saying the right thing becomes reflexive, we have to think about things in order to avoid saying something impolitic or stupid. One of the other posters said he prefers to write rather than speak, and I agree with him. When writing, one can take his time, and rearrange his words until he is satisfied. Once something is spoken, it can't be taken back.



mar00
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06 Jan 2012, 7:54 pm

I can really identify with what you're saying there. In my case I think I've had selective mutism since childhood alongside with social anxiety. I should tell this to my shrink but I can't and I don't go there often (wonder why..). Mostly I just don't want to deal with language in any way :/ Language - speaking, reading, writing - is very unpleasant, maybe it's because it doesn't come naturally to me and thus is fairly exhausting. It is very ugly as well, so is my voice - it hurts my ears. etc etc..



PurpleOctober
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06 Jan 2012, 7:57 pm

Dunnyveg, that is totally part of the problem. When I write, I can be witty and smart, I can be eloquent, and I can not speak too fast, inflect incorrectly, or just slip out the wrong thing. When I speak, it's obvious that I'm weird, at the very least, and my words tumble out without the thoughts to back them up, if I keep up with typical conversational speed. Even worse is when I go on passionate rants with tons of facts and information and so many points that I care about so much....but no one else does.



Dunnyveg
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06 Jan 2012, 9:18 pm

PurpleOctober wrote:
Dunnyveg, that is totally part of the problem. When I write, I can be witty and smart, I can be eloquent, and I can not speak too fast, inflect incorrectly, or just slip out the wrong thing. When I speak, it's obvious that I'm weird, at the very least, and my words tumble out without the thoughts to back them up, if I keep up with typical conversational speed. Even worse is when I go on passionate rants with tons of facts and information and so many points that I care about so much....but no one else does.


Purple, I can tell just from what you've written here that you are in command of your language and exhibit impressive verbal dexterity. I've gotten a whole lot better than what I used to be. Please don't take this as patronizing, but when I was a student I was the same way, and still am to a point.

I think it can best be described thus: Having been in the Navy, I agree with the experts who say that we don't develop a tolerance to alcohol as much as we develop an ability to hide alcohol's effects. And the longer and more one drinks, the better they become at hiding those effects. In other words, imagine an alcoholic and a teetotaller both drink twelve beers. It will be much more obvious in the non-drinker.

I think we can draw a parallel with AS. The longer we have AS, meaning as we get older, we get better at hiding its effects. But the effects never really go away.

As far as talking to normals, unless I'm with certain people, I don't even bother trying to communicate complex thoughts--i.e., thoughts that require more than about two sentences. I think most people can understand complex thoughts better in writing than orally though--insofar as they can understand complex thoughts at all.

Again, your writing skills are very impressive. Are you an English major?



PurpleOctober
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06 Jan 2012, 9:27 pm

Dunnyveg wrote:
PurpleOctober wrote:
Dunnyveg, that is totally part of the problem. When I write, I can be witty and smart, I can be eloquent, and I can not speak too fast, inflect incorrectly, or just slip out the wrong thing. When I speak, it's obvious that I'm weird, at the very least, and my words tumble out without the thoughts to back them up, if I keep up with typical conversational speed. Even worse is when I go on passionate rants with tons of facts and information and so many points that I care about so much....but no one else does.


Purple, I can tell just from what you've written here that you are in command of your language and exhibit impressive verbal dexterity. I've gotten a whole lot better than what I used to be. Please don't take this as patronizing, but when I was a student I was the same way, and still am to a point.

I think it can best be described thus: Having been in the Navy, I agree with the experts who say that we don't develop a tolerance to alcohol as much as we develop an ability to hide alcohol's effects. And the longer and more one drinks, the better they become at hiding those effects. In other words, imagine an alcoholic and a teetotaller both drink twelve beers. It will be much more obvious in the non-drinker. I think we can draw a parallel with AS. The longer we have AS, meaning as we get older, we get better at hiding its effects. But the effects never really go away.

As far as talking to normals, unless I'm with certain people, I don't even bother trying to communicate complex thoughts--i.e., thoughts that require more than about two sentences. I think most people can understand complex thoughts better in writing than orally though--insofar as they can understand complex thoughts at all.

Again, your writing skills are very impressive. Are you an English major?


That makes a lot of sense! I hadn't known that idea about alcohol and its effects; I'd always thought that we develop a tolerance. Well. I say 'we'. I don't actually drink. So I guess I'm misappropriating the term. Ah, well.
However, that does make sense about AS.
I do the same thing, with people I'm not comfortable with, I don't really express complicated ideas. I ran into problems with my former best friend though, because I didn't "talk enough" for her liking.

Thank you! I'm a psychology major, actually, but I've been a writer since I was very little.



Alexender
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06 Jan 2012, 9:29 pm

I used to have a speech issue when I was younger (couldn't think of words I wanted to use) but its not noticable now unless Im stressed. Sometimes I might point and say green olives, meaning pickles cause I can't think of the word but I know the people around me either realize what im saying or can correct me. I sometimes struggle with writing but my mom thinks I can write rather well if I want to.



Dunnyveg
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06 Jan 2012, 9:56 pm

PurpleOctober wrote:
Dunnyveg wrote:
PurpleOctober wrote:
Dunnyveg, that is totally part of the problem. When I write, I can be witty and smart, I can be eloquent, and I can not speak too fast, inflect incorrectly, or just slip out the wrong thing. When I speak, it's obvious that I'm weird, at the very least, and my words tumble out without the thoughts to back them up, if I keep up with typical conversational speed. Even worse is when I go on passionate rants with tons of facts and information and so many points that I care about so much....but no one else does.


Purple, I can tell just from what you've written here that you are in command of your language and exhibit impressive verbal dexterity. I've gotten a whole lot better than what I used to be. Please don't take this as patronizing, but when I was a student I was the same way, and still am to a point.

I think it can best be described thus: Having been in the Navy, I agree with the experts who say that we don't develop a tolerance to alcohol as much as we develop an ability to hide alcohol's effects. And the longer and more one drinks, the better they become at hiding those effects. In other words, imagine an alcoholic and a teetotaller both drink twelve beers. It will be much more obvious in the non-drinker. I think we can draw a parallel with AS. The longer we have AS, meaning as we get older, we get better at hiding its effects. But the effects never really go away.

As far as talking to normals, unless I'm with certain people, I don't even bother trying to communicate complex thoughts--i.e., thoughts that require more than about two sentences. I think most people can understand complex thoughts better in writing than orally though--insofar as they can understand complex thoughts at all.

Again, your writing skills are very impressive. Are you an English major?


That makes a lot of sense! I hadn't known that idea about alcohol and its effects; I'd always thought that we develop a tolerance. Well. I say 'we'. I don't actually drink. So I guess I'm misappropriating the term. Ah, well.
However, that does make sense about AS.
I do the same thing, with people I'm not comfortable with, I don't really express complicated ideas. I ran into problems with my former best friend though, because I didn't "talk enough" for her liking.

Thank you! I'm a psychology major, actually, but I've been a writer since I was very little.


What I mean by being able to hide the effects of alcohol is when reflexes are measured, there is no change between the alcoholic and teetotaller after those twelve beers.

As far as drinking goes, I must admit I did my share in the Navy, but I gave up the booze years ago. I became allergic to the stuff.

Psychology is something I've been learning more about, and not only because of AS. I'm reading about Lacanian psycho-analysis and its relationship to post-structuralism. I'm also very interested in a group of psychologists who comprised something called the Frankfurt School.



nintendofan
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06 Jan 2012, 10:01 pm

I not able to speak much
i can only verbaly speak to my mum
i do try to be more verbal
i am not A.S


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Dunnyveg
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06 Jan 2012, 10:14 pm

nintendofan wrote:
I not able to speak much
i can only verbaly speak to my mum
i do try to be more verbal
i am not A.S


Nintendofan, I understand you're not AS; you're autistic. I just wanted to tell you that I have an autistic boy--actually he just turned 21--who volunteers a couple of days a week at my library shelving books. He's been doing it for about two years now. When he first came, he could hardly speak to anybody, including me, his boss. Now he speaks with all the employees. It just took him some time. Just keep working on it.



BafflinBook
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07 Jan 2012, 3:04 am

I would learn ASL and communicate using sign language rather than engaging in verbal communication .....becuase i like the cute facial expression XD

I also cant stand mispronunciatiion and funny accent,i need to cover my ear and run away or i will laugh.
(that would be rude and embarassing)