dating really doesn't matter....

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lightening020
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08 Jan 2012, 12:01 am

...it doesn't matter to those people who are at least somewhat moderately successful with it. Sure its tough for most people, BUT NOT IN THE SAME WAY IT IS FOR LONELY AWKWARD GUYS/GIRLS. Most everyday people who aren't lonely souls don't focus there lives around complaining/thinking about "getting a girlfriend". Its only people that have no experience go on worrying about it. I am in that camp, but I don't wanna be.

Life hasn't come naturally to me in any way for some reason. I still can't say for sure if I am aspergers 100%, but I am 100% positive I am not neurotypical, and I probably do qualify for a bunch of different disorders. The biggest thing is love-shyness. I read a bit about that, and it is even tied in with aspergers. I can't say enough how I can relate to that. I can also relate heavily to social phobia/anxiety, and I know I have a s**t ton of anxiety in social situations, and it has only gotten worse. Maybe that is the same thing as Avoidant PD. Whatever that continuum is, I have a huge whiff of it.

What I really want to do is stop worrying.....my whole life has just been worrying. Why can't I just ebb and flow?



Boxman108
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08 Jan 2012, 12:18 am

I don't think it's really fair to say that anyone gets by in life without a problem. Plenty of people have their own personal issues that need to be dealt with, regardless of whether they are effected by any sort of disorder. Some may get lucky, but people can still have a hard time even if it's not in the same way you do. The best thing is to not let the idea that you may have a disorder cloud your judgement. Anybody can be successful if they push themselves hard enough.


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Wolfheart
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08 Jan 2012, 5:23 am

lightening020 wrote:
Most everyday people who aren't lonely souls don't focus there lives around complaining/thinking about "getting a girlfriend". Its only people that have no experience go on worrying about it. I am in that camp, but I don't wanna be.


Actually I think everyone craves to be accepted, loved and valued as a productive member of society. That's why religions are started, people need a sense of acceptance. I believe everyone has the need to relate to others, however you don't have to depend on it for happiness and you certainly don't have to let it define you as a person. You are your own person, find your own sense of value instead of being a follower of what society wants and you will find yourself to be more content.



Reynaert
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08 Jan 2012, 5:51 am

Wolfheart wrote:
Actually I think everyone craves to be accepted, loved and valued as a productive member of society. That's why religions are started, people need a sense of acceptance. I believe everyone has the need to relate to others


No. I believe that a lot of Aspies crave to be accepted, loved and valued as a productive member of a small group of people, and couldn't care less about society as a whole. However, this society thing is so ingrained in the NT world that we are bombarded with it to a point that we start to believe we should want that too (and feel bad for not actually wanting it).

Quote:
however you don't have to depend on it for happiness and you certainly don't have to let it define you as a person. You are your own person, find your own sense of value instead of being a follower of what society wants and you will find yourself to be more content.


Exactly!