Would you date a guy that lives with his parents?

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CaptainTrips222
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08 Jan 2012, 2:35 pm

Well?

I'm 30 and still don't have my own place. I only had room mates at a dorm for a few semesters. It sucks, but I am working on it. I wouldn't post this on anywhere but wrong planet, because the people here are unusually understanding and enlightened to this kind of thing. Yahoo chat probably would have been all like ~LoSer, You got Problems, just be all like Ahm outta here, getta job and move out You Can do IT! VOTED BEST ANSWER

But would you date a guy that lived with his parents at my age?



TeaEarlGreyHot
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08 Jan 2012, 2:37 pm

Depends on a lot of things.


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OneStepBeyond
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08 Jan 2012, 2:40 pm

i would, but i'm weird so i wouldn't base anything on me



The-Raven
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08 Jan 2012, 2:48 pm

I have dated several men who lived with their parents and it did not bother me, however I think there are certain drawbacks to men who live with their parents, but it would not put me off.

Men who live at home tend to have been spoilt by their mum and not reciprocal with cooking dinner, housework and financial contribution, where as men who have lived on their own tend to be more appreciative and take their responsibility/turns.

Now a days lots of people live with their parents (cos of the recession) so I think people will become less judgmental about it over time.



psychegots
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08 Jan 2012, 2:49 pm

I only got experience with the "talk a lot online and suddenly find yourself in a relationship"-approach. Dating sounds dreadful no matter where the potential partner lives.

You should try to search dating sites and prioritize search results of potential partners after their apartment size (suggestion to a new feature right there for you developers)...



League_Girl
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08 Jan 2012, 2:52 pm

If I were single I would.



Ann2011
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08 Jan 2012, 2:54 pm

I live with my mother and have a boyfriend who lives on his own. It works out fine. He's a bit of a loner and my Mom and I get along great. I don't know if this helps, but anyway...



hyperlexian
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08 Jan 2012, 3:30 pm

it's situation-dependent. some people who live with their parents are really living as roomies/flatmates, whereas others are living with them in sort of a overgrown child/parent relationship. there is no way to know which situation they are in without getting to know them better.

i don't place any importance on material wealth, but i woiuld want a person to have some ability to take care of ther basic needs and be independent (nobody is perfect of course). not every person can work outside the home as we all have varying levels of ability/disability, but i do expect that a person would fill their time with something productive. it could be art, research, craft projects, etc. but i don't think i could be with someone who didn't at least have goals or dreams that they were actively working towards (if they were not employed). when my former husband was a stay-at-home dad, he was also working on art and film projects.

i would definitely look closely at the person's relationship with their parents - how they interact, how much freedom the person has in the house. so it's complicated. essentially, i would take a "wait and see" approach, but keep in mind that i've been told a bunch of times on WP that my ideas apparently run counter to the norm.

if i was going to give advice about how to approach the parental living situation with potential mates i would say to be confident about it and unapologetic. simply approaching it in a matter-of-fact makes it less of a big deal. if you make excuses and talk about how you are working to change your situation, it turns it into something you are embarrassed about, and it will make the person embarrassed for you. kinda like people who make excuses for being fat and talk about how they need to start exercising again blah blah blah. the more emphasis a person puts on their supposed faults the more everyone else pays attention to them. better to just be "as you are" and be proud.


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Boxman108
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08 Jan 2012, 3:33 pm

I would hope so. While I'd like to try living on my own, it doesn't look like it's going to be a realistic goal anytime soon.


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Radiofixr
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08 Jan 2012, 3:51 pm

would not bother me as long as they were cool with it.


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Henbane
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08 Jan 2012, 3:52 pm

All other things being groovy, then yes. Lots of people live with their parents, for all sorts of reasons.



OneStepBeyond
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08 Jan 2012, 3:58 pm

although i do hate meeting peoples parents, makes me feel like a child again



minervx
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08 Jan 2012, 4:22 pm

I think I should provide some historical context on this.

For many years, it has been typical, and in fact standard, for people to live with their parents in their 20's and even early 30's.

The idea of "move out young and be a man" is a relatively new concept, one which divides the family.

It's okay to live with your parents, as long as you are contributing, paying rent and helping out the family. In your 20's or 30's, you should have a job or be in school. If neither, then you should be actively searching for one of the two.

----

In the case of a what a woman wants, if she prefers a man who lives on his own, that's fair game.



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08 Jan 2012, 4:29 pm

A companion living with parents is fine enough, but the real jackpot would be to date a basement dweller! !! 8)



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08 Jan 2012, 4:32 pm

If he's a mama's boy and you would never live up to his mother then no.



CaptainTrips222
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08 Jan 2012, 7:04 pm

Wow. Thank you everyone. That was so supportive and... what's the word...validating!