Sometimes, I wonder if it's worth trying at all

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Okay, I know it's supposed to be more difficult for aspies to get jobs. But sometimes I wonder if I'll ever have anything beyond the fast food cashier job I have now. I had to go back after six years since I couldn't find anything else after months of searching. It's the only one I've been able to keep without being afraid of losing it over something stupid and even still, I get scared something might happen against all odds to make me lose that one too. For instance.....


---After leaving fast food briefly for a better hotel position, I get fired three days later because I accidentally took the keys to the register home after forgetting they were in my pocket. This was even though others did the same thing but never got fired, I was told to keep them in my pocket, protested since I knew I'd forget to return them as never used them that whole night and I traveled many miles back to the job to return the keys right away when I found out. Luckly, I get the Taco Bell job back.

---After finishing college, I finally get a "real" job besides Taco Bell....only to lose it in a year's time due to the company going out of business, even after being told by the higher-ups that it wasn't. We were given four days notice.

---I get a job after seven months making much less but re-enroll in school. But the place goes out of business three months later though it's been on that same corner for fifty years. We were given a week's notice before the closing.

---Since I had no income, I had to drop out of school when I got another job that conflicted with class times.

---I lost that job when, after completing training, the only shifts they had available ended long after the public transportation stopped running and my grandfather refused to be my "cab driver".

---I went off to New York (which had better public transit) to find employment and found a job....after my money ran out and I had to go back home anyway.

---After finally getting a job I could conceivingly keep, I was hospitalized for severe depression, which necessitated me quitting due to the stress the job caused.

---After being unemployed for a year, I got a wonderful temp job that I thought I was doing well in. I never had any complaints, write-ups and was never late. I thought everything was finally going to be alright and then one Saturday on my day off, I got the call from the temp service I was let go because I "gave the wrong information about a pension plan to a customer." I always checked and double-checked before telling anyone anything and wrote notes about why to cover my butt. The supervisors never said anything while I was on company's premises so they could get my side of the story.




It's gotten to the point I'm afraid to make a move at all. If I get anything better, I always lose it. I want to go back to school to get a teacher's license but why do so if only to get a job as a teacher and have to leave it as I know I'll like it and anything I like and is rewarding in any way whatsoever, I lose. It doesn't matter how hard I try. A reason, no matter how miniscule, will come up.

Last edited by nirrti_rachelle on 17 Oct 2006, 10:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've have a very hard getting/keeping/staying on with jobs too. I've been let go for no good reason, and have been harassed until I quit. I'm trrying ot get a full time teaching job, and I'm stressing out before I even have one, cos it's so easy for a shcool to lay off teachers in their first 3 years. Heh. I feel royally screwed most days - all I can say it I've decided I have to try to make my life better for myself, I own myself that much, even if other people suck and do sh*tty things that make my life hell.

Sounds really discouraging,I have had a lot of troubles with jobs and often felt "cursed" because so much was outside of my control.I cant tell you its ever going to change...but it might.Have you considered working in healthcare.At my company (working in residential homes with DD),they never fire anyone because it is so hard to get people to fill the jobs.The clients arent bad but some of the staff are annoying as hell(very lazy).Just a thought.Here,you dont even need a CNA license to do it(which is easy and only takes a full time month of classes to get).The pay here is 10.00 to 15.00$ an hour but
they maybe less down south(I live in Minnesota but in Missouri the pay was about half!!)Keep checking the paper for jobs "outside" what you would normally do and see if any are entry level.(I have done factory,sheet rock taping,painting,landscape,teenage treatment center....I am female by the way.)I dont know if the current influx of migrants have effected your job pool there....some of them do have jobs americans want,they just dont want them for $3.oo an hour.

I would love nothing more, then never having to work again but Publishers Clearing House hasnt come through for me yet....

I've had a lot of jobs I hated and a few I really enjoyed. I understand what it's like where you're at. Most people don't like me much, so several of my employers were glad to see me gone while they kept other people around that did less work. I've also gotten in trouble for things while other employees got away with little consequence for things far worse. So I know what you're talking about.

I can talk about what's worked for me, maybe you'll find something useful for yourself. I hope so. The jobs I've liked best had nothing to do with anything I studied in school. Since I was a little kid, I've loved climbing on stuff. I've worked as a scaffold builder and an ironworker and doing demolition - not explosives, tearing down buildings with sledgehammers and crowbars. I got paid to climb around on things. For me, that was perfect.

I found an odd benefit to this. Nobody is worse than me about getting along with other people, but doing these jobs, I got along better with the people I worked with and the people I worked for than I have at any other time in my life. This was probably partially because I was enjoying what I was doing all day, so I was a lot more pleasant to be around.

Another factor might be related. Most people don't like being around me, and a lot of people think I'm dumb, but there have been a very small number of exceptions. There are a few people that like having me around and think I'm smart. A couple of times I've worked for people who felt that way, and it made things much better. It makes all the difference in the world. It hasn't happened often, but it has happened.

I got the scaffold building and demolition job by working through a casual labor agency. They sent me to the jobs for a day, I liked the work, the bosses liked having me work there, they sent me back, and eventually I got hired as a regular employee. For me, that was a good way to scope out potential jobs. I got the ironworker job from an ad in the paper that said, "Must have a valid driver's license and have no fear of heights."

Your situation is obviously different in detail, but despite many failures, it has sometimes happened that things worked out well for me. I hope they work out well for you.

I've only ever had 2 jobs. One was as a pharmacy assistant when I was at school. I often feared I would get "fired" for some reason. Everyone there was friends except for me even though I've worked there for 2 years. I liked that job when I could do repetative tasks. Then when I turned 18, I started dancing around nekkid for a living. For the first 6 months I couldn't really talk to be people but now it seems fairly easy. I no longer "panic" in social situations and I'm learning to maintain the proper tone of voice, eye contact and body language. I can do "small talk" but often I need to be "reminded" by copying others. My ideal job would be something with physics and/or computers and no people.

My grandfather had a difficult time with employment, ended up joining the army during WWII. My father was a civil engineer. I work at an acedemic library. You can't be fired from civil service on a whim.

I know how you feel. I have often felt the same way, like it doesn't matter what you do, it will get messed up. But feelings can lie to us. I mean, is there an actual connection between your enjoyment of a job/life and your propensity to lose it? Is your happiness the actual cause of those things? Sounds like a big part of your situation in general has been bad luck, chance. Well, would you rather get something good with the chance that you'll lose it and go back to where you are, or simply stay where you are and wonder what could have been? I think you should go get a teachers license.

I keep hitting road blocks, and they all have had to do with a combination partly of my own issues and partly the situation that has been presented to me. I know that had the situation been different, my issues would not have been a major problem. It was that combination. Seems like the only way you are going to be able to change your situation is to go get an education. The good thing about teaching though, is that no matter where you go, there are schools. If you face a bad situation at one, there are others to get a job at, as long as you have that certificate. And going to school and feeling like you are working towards something may make things easier, just because you have something to look forward to. And it may give you some time to learn about yourself and know what you can handle better

Nirrti,

I wouldn't give up, keep trying, for every "no" their will be an eventual be a 'Yes'. In other words you will eventually find a situation that works for you, life has a funny way of working itself out sometimes.

But if you still have trouble with employment because of discrimination keep this in mind: If you end up on Social Security because of the discriminiation it is costing the employers that discriminated against you big time because their tax money is going torwards that social security check. Since they won't allow to be a productive of society they now have to pay to be a non productive member of society.

I've costed the Swedish tax payers about $200000 or more, since I got my diagnosis. I have tried with jobs and education just like Nirrti and many others here, but was always discriminated from those heart- and brainless NT morons.

I could be paying at least as much in tax every year that society now instead is legally forced to give me, but why would I bother, when they treat me like s**t? It's their problem, not mine.

It seems to be a theme with us, doesn't it?
2000-I worked at a company that did troubleshooting on DSL lines for the phone company. Great job, great people, so I quit to go to work for the phone company.
2001-The phone company let me go after seven months because I was in Business Sales, and they set the quotas so high that almost nobody makes permanent status.
2002-Got job with County Superior Court making copies in the copy room. Got let go seven months later because I didn't get along with the female hispanics who 'ran' the department.
2003-Tried selling on Ebay, almost went broke.
@004-Got job being assistant to a Real Estate Agent/Loan Officer who lied to me about how much I'd make in bonuses. I'm now down to $1700 a month, and I have to pay ALL my own taxes.

I'm trying the website biz next. Stay tuned for further developments.

Nirrti,

I'm sorry that your experience in the workplace has been so problematic and unrewarding for you. But a lot of the things you mentioned are not your fault at all. So many things are purely due to luck or lack thereof, so please don't think that you're the cause of all of your problems. I cannot say if you are responsible for getting fired or not, I was not there watching the incident unfold, but all I could say is that for every situation that happens, the best you or anybody can do is to try to figure out what happened, learn from what happened (regardless of whether it is your fault or not), and aspire to do better with the new knowledge. People make mistakes all the time, and some go without so much as a word, and other mistakes get heavily scrutinized.

Try not to get depressed about it. I'm sure you are able to do many things well, including teaching. It's just a matter of showing everybody what you're capable of!

Prof,

based on what you've just told us it doesn;t seem your employment problems are attributed to AS but rather a string of bad luck.