Inaugural Give Werbert Your Money Post-A-Thon!

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werbert
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19 Oct 2006, 12:27 am

Well, folks, it's your old pal Werbert here, once again spreading joy to the dark reaches of Wrong Planet. As some of you know, I am a college student attempting to hold down an internship while at the same time heading up a vast international conspiracy whose aims are as yet unknown. Now, all of these pursuits cost money, and werbert has none. So, folks, I'm getting on my knees to ask you to open your hearts, and wallets, to help the Werbert Aid Society. Stick around, and we'll have food, music from 88-time Grammy winners Werbie and the Werbettes, comedy skits from the Where's Werbert Troupe, and lots of fun!


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Last edited by werbert on 19 Oct 2006, 1:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

One-Winged-Angel
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19 Oct 2006, 12:33 am

He needs the money to hire a staff to do his homework.


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werbert
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19 Oct 2006, 12:36 am

And that was our good friend One-Winged-Angel, who was kind enough to come down and help us out. OWA, you've been here only a month, but what an impact you've made. Folks, let's all give a round of applause to our dear friend OWA.

*Applause*


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One-Winged-Angel
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19 Oct 2006, 12:40 am

werbert wrote:
And that was our good friend One-Winged-Angel, who was kind enough to come down and help us out. OWA, you've been here only a month, but what an impact you've made. Folks, let's all give a round of applause to our dear friend OWA.

*Applause*


I could copy that to make it sound like seven billion people, but I don't want to be deaf.


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werbert
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19 Oct 2006, 12:41 am

Don't worry. I don't applaud very loud. *Rimshot*


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19 Oct 2006, 12:42 am

Yes people this is not a handout but a handup for Werbertism. Werbertism while a completely unknown concepts has atleast as much chance of any "ism" of saving the
the ozone layer. And we all know the increase UV light from ozone hole is stimulating
hemp plants to make higher levels of THC. And these higher levels are leading to
Snoop Dog getting really high. And when he gets really high he has been known to endorse some really crazy ideas......


18 pages later


..........And thats why you should never kiss a snake in the state of Alabama.



Last edited by TheMachine1 on 19 Oct 2006, 12:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

werbert
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19 Oct 2006, 12:42 am

Now, folks, OWA just flew here from Oklahoma, and boy are his arms tired! *Rimshot*


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werbert
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19 Oct 2006, 12:45 am

TheMachine1 wrote:
Yes people this is not a handout but a handup for Werbertism. Werbertism while a completely unknown concepts has atleast as much chance of any "ism" of saving the
the ozone layer. And we all know the increase UV light from ozone hole is stimulating
hemp plants to make higher levels of THC. And these higher levels are leading to
Snoop Dog getting really high. And when he gets really high he has been know to endorse some really crazy ideas......


18 pages later


..........And thats why you should never kiss a snake in the state of Alabama.

*Rimshot*

Well, look who it is. It's the man who is nothing but a figment of Werbert's imagination, the GPD himself! Say, TM1, you're looking pretty fit for a man who is nothing but a slice of werbert's mind pie.


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One-Winged-Angel
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19 Oct 2006, 12:47 am

werbert wrote:
Now, folks, OWA just flew here from Oklahoma, and boy are his arms tired! *Rimshot*


Actually, my arms don't have to move for me to fly. My wing isn't involved either.


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19 Oct 2006, 12:50 am

good thing for you... I'd imagine one-winged angels tend to fly in circles.



werbert
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19 Oct 2006, 12:50 am

Just stick to the script. The people love you.


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werbert
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19 Oct 2006, 12:51 am

What do you know? It's our good friend diseased, back from spreading terror in the skies above Seattle!

*sings*
The bluest skies you've ever seen in Seattle
And the hills the greenest green in Seattle
Like a beautiful child growing up free and wild
Full of hopes and full of fears
Full of laughter full of tears
Full of dreams to last the years in Seattle
In Seattle



Hehe, I guess we'd better change some of those lyrics, Bobby Sherman. :lol: :lol: :lol:


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werbert
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19 Oct 2006, 1:00 am

Well, we've been here about fifteen minutes, and we still have yet to break the $0 barrier. Folks, I hate to beg, but please, think of your children. They are probably already overweight and they sure don't need anymore food. So why not take that $15 you were going to spend on brownies, pop it in an envelope and send it along to your old pal Werbie?

I promise I won't blow it on liquor and prostitutes.


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19 Oct 2006, 1:01 am

Folks we got a call from Acme Candy Inc makers of the beet flavored gummy bears.

They are making a limited production of beet flavored gummy bears with real
Werbert sweat. Werbert over the summer collected all his sweat with a spooge he
rung into a barrel he shipped to Acme Candy Inc.

For members who join our 2500 dollar club you will get a 1.5 oz bag of the limited
edtion Werbet Beet Flavored Gummy bears (please include $2.95 shipping).



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19 Oct 2006, 1:04 am

I tried to copy another werbert to do his homework, but the clone called the real werbert a coward and had to be destroyed.


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19 Oct 2006, 1:08 am

werbert wrote:
Well, we've been here about fifteen minutes, and we still have yet to break the $0 barrier. Folks, I hate to beg, but please, think of your children. They are probably already overweight and they sure don't need anymore food. So why not take that $15 you were going to spend on brownies, pop it in an envelope and send it along to your old pal Werbie?

I promise I won't blow it on liquor and prostitutes.


I have some belly-button lint I could send you. Would that help??

BTW, I really don't give a damn if you spend it on liquor and prostitutes, just as long as I get sloppy seconds.


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