My Mother has Passed Away

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I'm sorry for your loss.

It has been nearly three years since my Mother passed. I have gone through major things. Being in the hospital for six months and medically retire for cardiac issues.The loss of my Father in June of 2013. I am still doing what ,I can.

I wonder how old you are, and whether you are facing those issues of growing older that come up as we move into later life.

My mother died 6 years ago, my younger brother died this year, (and my two most beloved animals) my favourite cousin died in the past year, and many of my older relatives are faced with serious medical issues, not the least being Braca 1 genes. I certainly relate to your cardiac issues, and these things go with the territory of growing older: the deaths of relatives and friends, the medical vulnerability that replaces the way we took our bodies for granted in earlier years, the realisation that there are things from which we will not fully recover. Yet there are aspects I do like about this stage: not taking things for granted; realising that many things I once thought important are not very important at all; knowing myself more thoroughly;
knowing that everything passes; having more time to do my own thing; having more self-confidence as a result of decades of experience and surviving all the hard stuff life threw at me - and there was quite a lot.
My values are the only thing that haven't changed since I was young. Everything else has, not least the reflection in the mirror. Loss is inevitable, and it can be like an earthquake with aftershocks for years. Though there are gains too, though they may come a long time after the aftershocks stop..

My mother's very much alive--but she thinks she's "lived enough."

She won't listen to reason--and she won't listen to Erik Eriksson, despite the fact that she's a Freudian psychoanalyst.

My wife lost her young son to cancer about eight years ago. Unfortunately (though fortunately), this has taught me how to have real empathy for people who have losses.

I don't want to die--and I will be very angry when I die.

However, I believe people should not obsess about the dead--they should live, live, live!! !! !! Don't let the dead determine how you should live.