Excellent distinction between Empathy and Sympathy...

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Would it be possible to get the site linked below as a sticky on this page? It seems that many people here are not clear on the difference between Empathy and Sympathy, and I feel like it's important that they are, seeing as they're frequently accused of lacking one of them.

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I linked to this site the other day as an EXCELLENT distinction between the two. I've checked these definitions with several friends, and as a filmmaker, this is the understanding that I've always had of the two words (empathy with characters is required for a successful horror film, for instance, not sympathy).

Difference Between Empathy and Sympathy


Here are two perfect and easy to understand definitions from the site:


Empathy: The ability to co-experience and relate to the thoughts, emotions, or experience of another without them being communicated directly by the individual.

Sympathy: The ability to understand and to support the emotional situation or experience of another being with compassion and sensitivity.


The two are actually quite different, if you think about it. Empathy is almost a psychic experience; at the very least, intuition. When I'm in a room with other people, I take on the moods of those people. I can feel what they feel. That's why I don't remain angry for long after getting into a fight with someone, because as soon as the other person has distanced themselves from me, the feeling of anger dissipates and I feel happy, as if nothing happened.

Sympathy is not at all about feeling what another person is feeling, but understanding what another person is going through, and wanting to do something to help them or make the hurting stop for that person.

The way I see it, I think it's more than likely that Aspies have plenty of Empathy, but little to no Sympathy. That's the case with me, at least. If I'm the room with someone who feels sad, I will feel sad...but I don't know how to make that person feel better, and don't really care...I just want them to feel better so that I can stop feeling the same way.

They can also be simplified this way: Empathy results from an UNSPOKEN sense of what another person is feeling. Sympathy requires a verbalization on part of the other person as to what they are feeling, and then an attempt on your part to understand it, and a resulting desire to help the person. If someone is not saying anything, I will pick up on their emotion and feel it myself. If someone TELLS me what they are feeling, I don't identify with it.[u]

I have trouble with both in real life but for whatever reason, I find it easier with movie characters.

That's the way I've always understood the definitions of the two, but there are those here that adamantly insist it's the other way around.
For myself, I can explain it this way. If I read about someone being bullied, I feel sympathy; but if I actually witness it I feel empathy like a kick in the gut.

I don't get how I could possibly experience what someone else experiences.

If I see something happen to someone that makes me feel bad, then I am experiencing my own emotions, not theirs. Seesh.

I have trouble with both "empathy" and "sympathy." I am not one of those "super-empathetic Aspies" that seems to be all the rage these days.

Yeah, I can sympathize well, but empathy well I think its hard for me and other Aspies too, to feel empathy because we think and feel things differently then NT people do. Sadly our lack of ability to empathize makes us seem like uncaring freaks,

But from experience some of the nicest kids I know have AS

I feel uncomfortable around people giving off strong negative emotional vibes. Many years ago my sister came for a visit with me and my mother, so she could have an NT rant and melt down. (We were all already adults then). She had been in a serious relationship that she thought was leading to marriage, but had just found out that her boyfriend was married. He had never told her--she found out from someone else, after getting involved with him. Nice guy--NOT! I remember how uncomfortable I was having her around, because I couldn't deal well with her strong negative emotional output. It was too much input for me on the "emotional feeling" level. I did feel some sympathy, but no real empathy for her situation. I think I would have felt more sympathy, had I also felt some empathy, too. I did manage to control my responses to my sister by not interacting with her too much. I just let her vent and tried to keep out of her way. It would not have helped to have two of us freaking out, and would have only made me feel even worse any way.

Because I feel so uncomfortable around people who are upset, I tend to withdraw, emotionally at those times, and if possible, physically, as well.

I do agree with that definition of empathy vs sympathy. It does cover it well.

Oh.

Can you relate to people who have autism, or do you pity them?

It doesn't seem to matter what the real terms mean anymore when so many people just use them interchangeably.

This page isn't going to get stickied, I'm going to tell you that. A moderator approached me about one of the threads I made and said he couldn't sticky it because Alex doesn't want too many stickied threads here. Also, these are not the only official definitions of sympathy and empathy I've seen, usually the implication is that empathy is deeper than sympathy, which is not how it is here. From these definitions I say most autistic people lack neither sympathy nor empathy.

It was intended to provoke thought, not emotion. I should have provoked my own thoughts more.