PPR Poems

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Language Police Report

The busybody(banned as sexist,demeaning to older women)who lives
next door called my daughter a tomboy(banned as sexist)when she
climbed the jungle(banned;replaced with"rain forest")gym.Then she
had the nerve to call her an egghead and a bookworm(both banned as
offensive;replace with" intellectual")because she read fairy(banned
because suggests homosexuality;replace with "elf")tales.

I'm tire of the Language Police turning a deaf ear(banned as handicapism)
to my complaints.I'm no Pollyanna(banned as sexist)and will
not accept any lame(banned as offensive;replace with" walks with a
cane")excuses at this time.

If Alanis Morissette can play God(banned)in Dogma(banned as ethnocentric;
replace as "Doctrine"or "Belief"),why can't my daughter
play stickball(banned as regional or ethnic bias)on boy's night out
(banned as sexist)?Why can't she build a snowman(banned,replace
with "snow person")without the fanatic (banned as ethnocentric;
replace with "follower," or "adherent")next door telling her
she's going to hell(banned;replace with "heck" or "darn")?

Do you really think this is what the Founding Fathers(banned as sexist;
replace with "the Founders" or "the Framers") had in mind?That we
can't even enjoy our Devil(banned)-ed ham sandwiches in peace?I say
Put a stop to this cult(banned as ethnocentric) of PC old wives' tales
(banned as sexist;replace with "folk wisdom" and extremist (banned as
ethnocentric;replace with"believer"," follower",or "adherent")conservative
duffers(banned as demeaning to older men).

As an heiress(banned as sexist;replace with "heir")to the first amendment,
I feel that only a heretic(use with caution when comparing religions)
would try to stop American vernacular from flourishing in all it's
Inspirational(banned as patronizing when referring to a person with
disabilities)splendor.


Denise Duhamel

my dreams,my works, must wait till after hell

I hold my honey and I store my bread
In little jars and cabinets of my will.
I label clearly,and each latch and lid
I bid,Be firm till I return from hell.
I am very hungry.I am incomplete.
And none can tell when I may dine again.
No man can give me any word but Wait.
The puny light.I keep my eyes pointed in;
Hoping that,when the devil days of my hurt
Drag put to their last dregs and I resume
On such legs ae are left me,in such heart
As I can manage,remember to go home,
My taste will not have turned insensitive
To honey and bread old purity could love.

Gwendolyn Brooks

Transition:

A POEM
To his Majesty King George, II. on the present State of Affairs in England,
with Remarks on the Alterations expected at Court, after the Rise of the Parliament.
By the Rev. Dr. Jonathan Swift, Dean of St. Patrick's. In Lilliputian Verse. 1727.

SMILE, smile,
Blest Isle.
Grief past
At last.
Halcyon
Comes on.
New KING,
Bells ring,
New QUEEN,
Blest Scene!
Britain
Again
Revives,
And thrives.
Trade brisk,
All frisk.
Fear flies,
Stocks rise.
Wealth flows,
Art grows.
Bards write,
Things bright.
Strange Pack,
Sent back.
Own Folks,
Crack Jokes.
Those out,
May pout.
Those in,
Will grin.
Great, Small,
Pleas'd all.
God send
No End
To Line
Divine,
Of GEORGE and CAROLINE.

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Old Donald Trump
Is an orange piece of pooh.

Love under the Republicans (or Democrats)


Come live with me and be my love
And we will all the pleasures prove
Of a marriage conducted with economy
In the Twentieth Century Anno Donomy.
We’ll live in a dear little walk-up flat
With practically room to swing a cat
And a potted cactus to give it hauteur
And a bathtub equipped with dark brown water.
We’ll eat, without undue discouragement,
Foods low in cost but high in nouragement
And quaff with pleasure, while chatting wittily,
The peculiar wine of Little Italy.
We’ll remind each other it’s smart to be thrifty
And buy our clothes for something-fifty.
We’ll bus for miles on holidays
For seas at depressing matinees,
And every Sunday we’ll have a lark
And take a walk in Central Park.
And one of these days not too remote
You’ll probably up and cut my throat.

— Ogden Nash