Helping Parents explain what Aspergers is to people

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I'm not sure if this is the right part of the forum to post this in so feel free to move it to the right section.

Many parents, family or even us with Aspergers ourselfs find it hard to explain in detail what it is so i thought i'd share with you what my sister wrote for me (She's a mental health nurse) so i could send it people/family to read and i take it to interviews aswell. It seems to really help so maybe some of you could use it to explain as a lot of sites don't go right into detail.

Sorry about some of the spelling she was angry at the time as i was getting bullied but hope it helps some of you.




Right Then this is to EVERYONE WHO IS 'FRIENDS WITH MIKE' i have read your comments with regard to mikes Aspergers and frankly am disgusted with 'SOME PEOPLES' lack of support and ignorance so here it is for anyne who genuinely gives a s**t OR is curious....

Aspergers is a 'developmental disorder' meaning it is NOT AN ILLNESS so CANT BE CURED. Mike has struggled to cope with this ALL HIS



LIFE.

Asperges effects a person MENTALLY so CANT BE COMPAIRED TO PHYSICAL ILLNESSESS. Asperger syndrome is a form of autism, which is a lifelong disability that affects how Mike makes sense of the world, processes information and relates to other people. Autism is often described as a 'spectrum disorder' because the condition affects people in many different ways and to varying degrees. Asperger syndrome is mostly a 'hidden disability'. This means that you can't tell that someone has the condition from their outward appearance.

　

Aspergers effects the way mike view the world around him and how he copes...it effects him personally in the follwing ways...:-



DIFFICULTY IN COMMUNICATION

mike has difficulty knowing when to start or end a conversation and choosing topics to talk about

he may get anxious when talking to new people or strangers.

mike may see things in black and white. e.g. if somebody says 'im ok' mike is unable to understand tone of voice to understand there not ok. or another e.g. if mike wants to know somthing he will keep asking and does nt understand when people are becoming angry or annoyed with him. in this case the person talking to mike needs to explain why they dont want to answer his question and not just say 'NO' or refuse to answer.



mike finds it difficult in expressing his emotions verbally and is unable to understand at times other peoples emotions. Mikes emotions at times can seem 'mixed up' e.g mike smiles when hes anxious/uncomfortable, mike can sound angry when hes either frustrated/upset. it is very rare Mike crys when hes upset, mikes sadness can be displayed in other emotions.



DIFFICULTY IN SOCIAL INTERACTION

difficulty picking up social cues, and difficulty in knowing what to do when I get things wrong.

Many people with Asperger syndrome want to be sociable but have difficulty with starting and sustaining social relationships, which can make them very anxious

Mike struggle to make and maintain friendships

Mike does not understand the unwritten 'social rules' that most of us pick up without thinking. For example, mike may start an inappropriate topic of conversation or appear to dismiss topics of conversation that dont intrest him, mike may also but into conversations or appear to try and 'change the subject' if its somthing he doesnt understand. Mike also at times just smiles and nodds along when he does not know what to say.



Mike find other people's behaviour unpredictable and confusing.

Mike May become withdrawn and seem uninterested in other people, appearing like hes 'doesnt give a s**t' when infact he does.

Mike may behave in what may seem an inappropriate manner to cope with the anxiety he feels when in a social or new situation e.g. laughing at a fineral (yes he has done this before) or laughing at someones distress...not because he isnt upset or doesnt care, but because it makes him feel anxious as he does not know how to express his emotion, what to say or understand other peoples emotion.

mike sometimes seems to 'say the wrong thing', in this case, ther person talking to mike needs to ask him in what way he meant what he was saying and try and encourage mike to explain it in another way.



DIFFICULTY WITH SOCIAL IMAGINATION

Mike has trouble working out what other people know. We have more difficulty guessing what other people are thinking

mike has trouble imagining alternative outcomes to situations and finds it hard to predict what will happen next. e.g. Mike can impulsively come out with somthing (on facebook for example) about how he feels as a means of getting help from family, he is unable to predict that other people may view this as 'attention seeking behaviour' or pass unsupportive comments that make him feel worse.

mike has difficulty in understanding or working out other peoples thoughts, feelings or actions. The subtle messages that are put across by facial expression and body language are often missed.



having a limited range of imaginative activities, which can cuase rigidity in routine, ....because mike does not have the imagination to think up activities to keep himself busy (without someone asking him to do somthing) he is obsessed with time keeping and routine, if mike make plans to go somwere/see someone and it is cancelled at the last min Mike can become very anxios and upset as this has 'UPSET HIS PLANS', This can effect mikes mood as he can appear very angry/depressed and may 'take it out on the wrong people'.

To try and make the world less confusing, people with Asperger syndrome may have rules and rituals (ways of doing things) which they insist upon. People with Asperger syndrome often prefer to order their day to a set pattern.



OTHER THINGS TO KNOW

Mike sees things is 'black and white' so therefore finds it difficult to lie as he does not 'see the point in lieing', this can be seen as a good thing, however you must be awear not to ask mike his opinion of you do not want the truth....e.g. if you said to mike ;does my bum look fat in these jeans?' and he thought it did he would just say 'yes' without understanding that the person was only wanting a good answer (again this could come under difficulty with social imagination)



People with Asperger syndrome may develop an intense, sometimes obsessive, interest in a hobby or collecting. Sometimes these interests are lifelong; in other cases, one interest is replaced by an unconnected interest. For Mike's is computers, football and games.

People with Asperger syndrome may have sensory difficulties. These can occur in one or all of the senses (sight, sound, smell, touch, or taste). The degree of difficulty varies from one person to another. Most commonly, an individual's senses are either intensified (over-sensitive) or underdeveloped (under-sensitive). For example, bright lights, loud noises, overpowering smells, particular food textures and the feeling of certain materials can be a cause of anxiety and pain for people with Asperger syndrome. in mikes case this is why he wears sunglassess for clubbing or at night tme, finds it uncomfortable to be hugged (especially by strangers), also why Mike is very particular with his food. Mike is also oversensitive to other peoples upset, mike discribed this as 'if i know someone close to me has been hurt, i feel it inside like it has happened to me'. mike can become very passionat when defending people he cares about and seem 'interfearing' or 'over involved'.


The exact cause of Asperger syndrome is still being investigated. However, research suggests that a combination of factors - genetic and environmental - may account for changes in brain development.

Asperger syndrome is not caused by a person's upbringing, their social circumstances and is NOT THE FAULT OF THE PERSON WITH ASPERGERS!! !.

Thanks, that helps a lot.

That's a very good explanation.