For whatever it's worth!
12 Mar 2012, 2:09 am
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTJo1i60zLI[/youtube]
"Black Cotton, the symbol for unrewarded struggle."
Exactly as it says, unrewarded struggle. I have tried so hard all my life to be competent or even appreciated in the slightest and you know what? I got it!
Then: People trusted my amazing ability to psychologically profile people and analyze behaviors, I could look at anybody and tell you their life.
Now: I don't even know what I'm thinking!
Then: I used to be so focused at school, just finish most of my stuff in the classroom.
Now: Always late to school, always late work, always fail tests, always *ucking fail!
Then: I thought I had social interaction understood!
Now: What is interaction?
Then: I had something that I looked forward to everyday when I came home from school.
Now: The only crap I come home to now are control, aggravation, hate, tears, shame. So bored that all I do is *ucking master*ate the s**t out of my D.
Then: Was Asexual.
Now: Huge pervert, "Nephew? Who cares?"
I smell like s**t but I shower everyday and put on deodorant.
Severely Depressed all day and night.
I couldn't analyze anything even if my life depended on it.
Had a good relationship with my mom but now we hate each other.
Everything I was is now lost and recycled, and for what? Why did it get taken from me? What the hell is going on?!
All I'm doing now is self destructing behavior. I just don't give a *uck.
Why should I keep trying if I'm just going to get screwed in the end? I don't want to try anything unless I know that I'll be able to keep what I gain.
I've got Borderline Personality Disorder, my personality changes with every room I walk into and with the different times of the day.
How the hell am I still able to think!?
Then: Clean room
Now: Mountains
Then: No desire for suicide.
Now: Seriously considering.
Flaw for Star Wars story line, you cannot just die from no will of living, if that was possible, I'd be dead.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEH5hPl9SfQ[/youtube]
_________________
There's got to be a God somewhere, someone who cares. I stay on bended knee and hope the Father answers prayers.
15 Mar 2012, 6:49 pm
"Black Cotton, the symbol for unrewarded struggle."
Exactly as it says, unrewarded struggle. I have tried so hard all my life to be competent or even appreciated in the slightest and you know what? I got it!
Then: People trusted my amazing ability to psychologically profile people and analyze behaviors, I could look at anybody and tell you their life.
Now: I don't even know what I'm thinking!
Then: I used to be so focused at school, just finish most of my stuff in the classroom.
Now: Always late to school, always late work, always fail tests, always *ucking fail!
Then: I thought I had social interaction understood!
Now: What is interaction?
Then: I had something that I looked forward to everyday when I came home from school.
Now: The only crap I come home to now are control, aggravation, hate, tears, shame. So bored that all I do is *ucking master*ate the sh** out of my D.
Then: Was Asexual.
Now: Huge pervert, "Nephew? Who cares?"
I smell like sh** but I shower everyday and put on deodorant.
Severely Depressed all day and night.
I couldn't analyze anything even if my life depended on it.
Had a good relationship with my mom but now we hate each other.
Everything I was is now lost and recycled, and for what? Why did it get taken from me? What the hell is going on?!
All I'm doing now is self destructing behavior. I just don't give a *uck.
Why should I keep trying if I'm just going to get screwed in the end? I don't want to try anything unless I know that I'll be able to keep what I gain.
I've got Borderline Personality Disorder, my personality changes with every room I walk into and with the different times of the day.
How the hell am I still able to think!?
Then: Clean room
Now: Mountains
Then: No desire for suicide.
Now: Seriously considering.
Flaw for Star Wars story line, you cannot just die from no will of living, if that was possible, I'd be dead.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEH5hPl9SfQ[/youtube]
It's not worth anything.
_________________
"I watched a change in you, It's like you never had wings, now you feel so alive"
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