Maybe this will be a useful wake up call for some here....

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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14 Mar 2012, 5:48 pm

MXH wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
One thing I've noticed since entering the dating world is how men have a tendency to emphasize that they've got a job. It's as if it makes them more dateable in their eyes. I am unclear as to why this is the case.


Because for many women its a requirement to have a job/car to even think of being with someone.


I see. I've dated jobless/carless men before. I don't see what the big deal is, as long as I'm not expected to pay their way.


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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14 Mar 2012, 5:50 pm

CrazyStarlightRedux wrote:
mv wrote:
{shrug} I'm only one (modern) woman, but I've never cared what a man makes, as long as he can take care of himself. I guess I'm unusual, it could never matter to me what someone else makes, because I don't understand the concept of spending someone else's money. I make money, and if I choose to spend that money on me and my family, that's one thing. Giving someone else access to that money is something else, something that's alien. Bartering one's self, one's intrinsic worth, in order to get access to someone else's money, is super creepy to me.

I pay my own way on dates, unless the other person feels very strongly about it, and even then I'll pick up the next date.


I agree with everything you say, except paying yourself for dates, a man should do so out of his own kindness and politeness, as I think this is something that will be sadly lost if woman don't let them pay out of that kindness/politeness.

Of course, it's not necessarily about the money in that perspective, but more about how they represent themselves to the woman.

Other then that, I would'nt care how much a woman has.


The person that did the asking should be the one to pay IMO. I don't understand why the man should be expected to pay by default.


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justalouise
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14 Mar 2012, 9:32 pm

I don't care what a person (I happen to be a straight female) makes as long as they're self-reliant. That is incredibly important to me.



spongy
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15 Mar 2012, 2:17 am

Or maybe not.

Lets face it Boo: the internet has made it very easy to find info to backup just about any claim you may have because anyone can put something online and its unlikely that no one has thought of anything similar.

Right now I could point you out thousands of articles on why males are only interested in sex(and just about any other male based stereotype which is basically what you´ve done).

Does that mean that all this stereotypes are true for every men and we are doomed?, thats up to you to decide but if I was to answer this question I´d have to quote one of my hs teachers when he said that the internet is a very useful tool for finding information but anyone can post an article online so you cant just take something as a fact just because its on several websites.


Im not denying that there´s some truth to every stereotype and this one is probably no exception but if you do some research on marriage counselors etc, you´ll see that most of them mention that having your basic needs filled(which is basically what this stereotype is based upon) is no longer enough and most people are changing their priorities



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Mar 2012, 3:00 am

spongy wrote:
Or maybe not.

Lets face it Boo: the internet has made it very easy to find info to backup just about any claim you may have because anyone can put something online and its unlikely that no one has thought of anything similar.

Right now I could point you out thousands of articles on why males are only interested in sex(and just about any other male based stereotype which is basically what you´ve done).

Does that mean that all this stereotypes are true for every men and we are doomed?, thats up to you to decide but if I was to answer this question I´d have to quote one of my hs teachers when he said that the internet is a very useful tool for finding information but anyone can post an article online so you cant just take something as a fact just because its on several websites.


Im not denying that there´s some truth to every stereotype and this one is probably no exception but if you do some research on marriage counselors etc, you´ll see that most of them mention that having your basic needs filled(which is basically what this stereotype is based upon) is no longer enough and most people are changing their priorities



Gawd, where did I say that every man is this or every woman is that or every man/woman will be like this for good? I just posted a link, and even the author didn't imply this.

Yes, it's true that a lot of men are only interested in sex, stereotypes often represent the largest minority.

Stereotype mass-paranoia, stop it.



spongy
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15 Mar 2012, 3:10 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
spongy wrote:
Or maybe not.

Lets face it Boo: the internet has made it very easy to find info to backup just about any claim you may have because anyone can put something online and its unlikely that no one has thought of anything similar.

Right now I could point you out thousands of articles on why males are only interested in sex(and just about any other male based stereotype which is basically what you´ve done).

Does that mean that all this stereotypes are true for every men and we are doomed?, thats up to you to decide but if I was to answer this question I´d have to quote one of my hs teachers when he said that the internet is a very useful tool for finding information but anyone can post an article online so you cant just take something as a fact just because its on several websites.


Im not denying that there´s some truth to every stereotype and this one is probably no exception but if you do some research on marriage counselors etc, you´ll see that most of them mention that having your basic needs filled(which is basically what this stereotype is based upon) is no longer enough and most people are changing their priorities



Gawd, where did I say that every man is this or every woman is that? I just posted a link, and even the author didn't imply this.

Yes, it true that a lot of men are only interested in sex, stereotypes often represent the largest minority.

Meh.

Im just saying that you cant live by generalizations(and you shouldnt even be using them here but we turn a blind eye unless it goes too far) and you shouldnt treat things on this article as facts, just in case.

Dont worry Im getting around answering your other wakeup call in a similar manner.



Bat_For_Lashes
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15 Mar 2012, 4:20 am

Evan Marc Katz, really? This guy is a modern day snake oil salesman if there ever was one. His advice is patriarchal and misogynistic tripe, and does more harm than good. He's a so-called "dating guru" in his mind only.

And if this article is any indication, he's clearly run out of things to write about lol...



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15 Mar 2012, 5:26 am

Both genders select for good genes and fertility. One indicator of good genes is attractiveness. Other indicators include wealth and social status. If you happen to be successful, chances are that your genes have contributed to your success and that your offspring will inherit these qualities. Even if that is not the case, inherited wealth gives future offspring a social and economic advantage.

It is therefore not really surprising that wealth and status can be important criteria for sexual selection. Emphasis on "can". I think the gold digger stereotype is as unfair as "men only want arm candy and a living sex doll without a brain".



hyperlexian
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15 Mar 2012, 1:33 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
spongy wrote:
Or maybe not.

Lets face it Boo: the internet has made it very easy to find info to backup just about any claim you may have because anyone can put something online and its unlikely that no one has thought of anything similar.

Right now I could point you out thousands of articles on why males are only interested in sex(and just about any other male based stereotype which is basically what you´ve done).

Does that mean that all this stereotypes are true for every men and we are doomed?, thats up to you to decide but if I was to answer this question I´d have to quote one of my hs teachers when he said that the internet is a very useful tool for finding information but anyone can post an article online so you cant just take something as a fact just because its on several websites.


Im not denying that there´s some truth to every stereotype and this one is probably no exception but if you do some research on marriage counselors etc, you´ll see that most of them mention that having your basic needs filled(which is basically what this stereotype is based upon) is no longer enough and most people are changing their priorities



Gawd, where did I say that every man is this or every woman is that or every man/woman will be like this for good? I just posted a link, and even the author didn't imply this.

Yes, it's true that a lot of men are only interested in sex, stereotypes often represent the largest minority.

Stereotype mass-paranoia, stop it.

most men are not just interested in sex. not sure how many you are implying by saying "a lot".

and what WAS your point in posting the link, then? i did already ask that.


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CrazyStarlightRedux
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15 Mar 2012, 1:40 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
One thing I've noticed since entering the dating world is how men have a tendency to emphasize that they've got a job. It's as if it makes them more dateable in their eyes. I am unclear as to why this is the case.


Yeah, it's a strange thing to use...since it means less free time.

If I were to go into dating, using my Job Occupation wouldn't seem to be a good idea, as it means I'd only be available for a small amount of time.


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