My praise/censure-battery

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My "battery" (energy supply of ability to do something, power supply) is very dependent on the praise and censure:

----praise----> +[battery]- ----censure---->



Praise, compliment charges it (I obtain the wings), censure, condemnation, reprimand - discharges (I become "sick").

But praise = (praise from others + praise from myself), same the censure.

----praise from others & praise from myself----> +[ability to do something]- ----censure from others & censure from myself---->



I use autopraise and autocensure very rarely.
But praise from others and censure from others - these are usual, regular things:

----praise from others----> +[ability to do something]- ----censure from others---->



I need the praise from others like a drug, like an air, like water.
And I'm affraid of censure from others like a fire.

What's the best way to receive praise from others (and receive no censure from others)?
Yes, it's to do something good, useful for someone, to help someone, to be good and kind in general.
The second way is to be interesting thanks to the creativity and "newsproduction".

I've listened that many aspies feel the same, have the battery constuction like mine.
So, I have an idea:
May be, aspie-people are the next evolution step, the stage of altruistic beings (that live in a friendly mutual and do not hurt each other)... who not only want but ARE FORCED to be altruistic?
Nature needed something more reliable than just high morality...

Here so immodestly
But for some reason we were born so as were born.

What do you think about this?

Welcome to WP!

Unfortunately, you're never going to live in a world without censure from others. What you need to do is to accept yourself for what and who you are and realize that others' praise and censure comes from what and who they are.

I battle the same problem: I have social anxiety/avoidant disorder and being around people causes me to become so tense that I can't do things I could normally do. It's gotten in the way of jobs, social life--everything. I attempt to battle those feelings every day; it just feels like something I cannot turn off inside. You have to actively decide that you are not going to be intimidated by others and you are going to recognize their prejudice (because that's what it is) against your being different and function anyway.

On the whole I don't care what other people think. People imagine that people with social anxiety actively care about what being judged but I have the ability to reason and know that their judgements don't usually make any sense and that it's counterproductive to be concerned with it.

My advice is to decide what matters to you.

As for altruism, a certain amount of give and take is necessary if you want to get along with others. Being overly altruistic leaves you open to being stepped on; being stingy makes you unacceptable. The general rule is to give what you can afford to give and not more.

I don't have any full answers here, of course, because I'm still going through the same thing but I can tell you this: if you are too needy of praise, people will pick that up and try to manipulate you with it. You have to find real reasons to keep your inner praise going in the face of outer censure, and by this I don't mean conceit because that's just a cover for inner censure. You have to know who you are inside and be OK with it. Sooner or later some people will pick up on who you really are and like or even love you for it; those are the ones who matter, not the rest.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Thanx.

To WrongPlanet!! !