Post your nerdiest joke(s)

Page 3 of 5 [ 77 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

b9
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

15 Mar 2015, 8:11 am

Herschel wrote:

What do you get if you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

an apex parasite

Wolfram87
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Feb 2015
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,976
Location: Sweden

29 May 2015, 3:28 pm

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are called upon and asked to build an enclosure of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.

The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.

The physicist pointed out that building it around the equator would take advantage of the earth's curvature, giving the enclosure maximal inside area.

The mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said “I declare myself to be outside the enclosure!”

_________________
I'm bored out of my skull, let's play a different game. Let's pay a visit down below and cast the world in flame.

summersolstice
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 7 Jan 2015
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 26

01 Jun 2015, 5:17 am

Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction!

lostonearth35
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Jan 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,896
Location: Lost on Earth, waddya think?

02 Oct 2015, 2:04 pm

Here is a Vulcan version of a Knock Knock joke:

Knock Knock.
Who is there?
It is I. Now open the door.
I cannot. Identification is required.
You are not acting logically. I will take my leave.
If that is your wish, then go.

I guess that's more of a geeky joke than a nerdy joke (there's a difference!), but Star Trek jokes are the closest I know to being nerdy.

OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

02 Oct 2015, 10:35 pm

There are 10 kinds of people in this world.

Those who know binary code and those who don't.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

Rudin
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Jun 2015
Age: 21
Posts: 1,046
Location: Southern Ontario

04 Oct 2015, 6:27 pm

b9 wrote:

Herschel wrote:

What do you get if you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

an apex parasite

Nope.

You can't cross a vector and a scalar. Funny.

_________________
"God may not play dice with the universe, but something strange is going on with prime numbers."

-Paul Erdos

"There are two types of cryptography in this world: cryptography that will stop your kid sister from looking at your files, and cryptography that will stop major governments from reading your files."

-Bruce Schneider

Rudin
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Jun 2015
Age: 21
Posts: 1,046
Location: Southern Ontario

04 Oct 2015, 6:31 pm

Titangeek wrote:

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly.

Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.

There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

99999999977 (largest 11-digit prime number)

A very similar joke to There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t. Is,

4/3 people understand fractions.

Commander
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Apr 2015
Age: 28
Posts: 606
Location: United States

04 Oct 2015, 6:34 pm

Two chemist walk into a bar. The first one ask for some H20 and the second one ask for H202

_________________
Stay classy WrongPlanet

Rudin
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Jun 2015
Age: 21
Posts: 1,046
Location: Southern Ontario

04 Oct 2015, 7:08 pm

Commander wrote:

Two chemist walk into a bar. The first one ask for some H20 and the second one ask for H202

The other chemist dies. It's a classic. I felt a compulsion to finish the joke because of my closure issues and because I don't understand how the emoticon ":o" is appropriate.

Rudin
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Jun 2015
Age: 21
Posts: 1,046
Location: Southern Ontario

04 Oct 2015, 7:12 pm

Tollorin wrote:

naturalplastic wrote:

Why dont mathmaticians distinquish Halloween from Christmas?

Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.

Don't understand that one.

TM wrote:

Sorry to say that, but this is deep misconception about history here.

TM wrote:

Where his armor bonus come from?

Because 31 in base 8 is 25 in base 10.

naturalplastic
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Aug 2010
Age: 69
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,127
Location: temperate zone

04 Oct 2015, 7:26 pm

Rudin wrote:

b9 wrote:

Herschel wrote:

What do you get if you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

an apex parasite

Nope.

You can't cross a vector and a scalar. Funny.

That punchline was already posted above in the thread.

He extracted the set up without the punchline to give his own punchline.

Rudin
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Jun 2015
Age: 21
Posts: 1,046
Location: Southern Ontario

17 Oct 2015, 11:11 am

i and pi get into a fight,

i: Oh, be rational.

pi: Get real

bicentennialman
Sea Gull

Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 227

17 Oct 2015, 11:31 am

A Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church. "Thank God you're here!" the priest says. "Now we can have mass!"

Werner Heisenberg is pulled over by a policeman. "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?" says the officer. "No," replies Heisenberg, "but I'm pretty sure where I am."

NotAnEvilRobot
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 10 Dec 2014
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 53

23 Oct 2016, 1:53 am

What's a ghost's favorite kind of math?

Boolean Algebra.

_________________
"As buds give rise by growth to fresh buds...so by generation I believe it has been with the great Tree of Life, which fills with its dead and broken branches the crust of the earth, and covers the surface with its ever branching and beautiful ramifications." - Charles Darwin, The Origin of Species

TristahK
Sea Gull

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 206
Location: Portugal

23 Oct 2016, 1:58 am

What name do you give to a rectangular bear after coordinate transformation?

a polar bear

_________________
Cogito, ergo sum.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 162 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 15 of 200

TristahK
Sea Gull

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 206
Location: Portugal

23 Oct 2016, 1:59 am

Q: A hunter walks one mile south, one mile east and one mile north in that same order. He ended on the same place. What did he hunt?

A: A polar bear.

_________________
Cogito, ergo sum.
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 162 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 15 of 200

Page 3 of 5 [ 77 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Next

Jump to:

Post your nerdiest joke(s) Post Reply New Topic

Post your nerdiest joke(s)