Getting a little fed up with 'autism awareness'

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03 Apr 2012, 8:09 am

Hi I am having a little bit of a whinge here so please feel free to ignore :)

All this autism awareness stuff is starting to get to me because everything I see about it it's all about how hard it is on parents, carers etc. It's all about struggles and battles and meltdowns. It's about getting support and help for parents and how they do such a great job in such a difficult situation. Don't get me wrong supportive parents are great but where is the respect for us as people? Hearing all this stuff about how hard it is for parents of these kids makes me so bloody cranky I mean how am I supposed to feel any kind of self worth or get any respect from society if I'm continually portrayed as having been such a terrible burden on my family? How am I supposed to gain respect as an adult if none of the literature or media even acknowledge my existence? It's all about the children and their poor struggling parents.

I realize the whole autistic pride thing is several years old and I'm a bit behind the times but it has been irritating me somewhat lately that I can find virtually nothing in terms of support or understanding for autistic adults, and certainly no acceptance. If you look and behave normally enough in public you are dismissed as being so mild as to be almost making it up, because there is just no support or awareness that autistic kids become autistic adults.



psychegots
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03 Apr 2012, 8:51 am

I agree with you!

I've been watching a lot of parenthood recently and that really shows how it usually is, I suspect. Some examples: Max (the kid with Asperger's in the show) is not interested in listening to his dad talking about his job, the dad is all "oh poor me my son has no interest in me cry cry". Max is not invited to a birthday because some girl does not like him, he does not care but his mom is all "My son is not popular cry cry I have to fix this oh poor me". The kid is not difficult to deal with at all, THEY make it difficult and then they cry about how hard it is for them having this "damaged" kid.



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03 Apr 2012, 9:13 am

psychegots wrote:
I agree with you!

I've been watching a lot of parenthood recently and that really shows how it usually is, I suspect. Some examples: Max (the kid with Asperger's in the show) is not interested in listening to his dad talking about his job, the dad is all "oh poor me my son has no interest in me cry cry". Max is not invited to a birthday because some girl does not like him, he does not care but his mom is all "My son is not popular cry cry I have to fix this oh poor me". The kid is not difficult to deal with at all, THEY make it difficult and then they cry about how hard it is for them having this "damaged" kid.


+1!


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fraac
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03 Apr 2012, 9:30 am

It was very weird, seeing tweets from like my local bus company promoting autism awareness. Didn't know there was a day. 'Awareness' is so vague. Upon reflection it does seem to be a chance for parents to say 'poor me'.



Jtuk
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03 Apr 2012, 10:09 am

ok, assuming this happens every year what we can we do to rectify this?

Jason



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03 Apr 2012, 10:18 am

Kill all the years!



Sweetleaf
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03 Apr 2012, 10:22 am

Yeah I think I will avoid looking at anything related to 'autism awareness' I already feel like crap about myself, I don't need to hear how much of a burden people like me are. If anything the sick society we live in is a burden to people like me.



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03 Apr 2012, 10:34 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Yeah I think I will avoid looking at anything related to 'autism awareness' I already feel like crap about myself, I don't need to hear how much of a burden people like me are. If anything the sick society we live in is a burden to people like me.


Agreed!

Jojo


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03 Apr 2012, 12:50 pm

I already don't pay much attention to it for much the same reasons as everyone else here. I prefer to concentrate on those people actually in my life, that matter, and educate them myself. The media is doing a horrid job by virtue of the fact that sensationalism has become far more important than objectivity ever since the advent of 24 hour cable news networks.

Even when there are stories aired about Autistics who actually accomplish things, function well, and are not non-communicative, it's never stressed that what the public in general sees in their minds as Autism whenever the term is mentioned, is Classic Autism, which is actually much more uncommon than most ASD's

People see "1 in 88" and picture Classic Autism. What's really bad about that is that, in my opinion, this is why there are so many people who strongly believe the rise in Autism is due to "fad diagnoses."

"If 'this' (Classic Autism), is what Autism looks like, then there must be an awful lot of charlatan doctors out there handing out diagnoses right and left to anyone willing to pay the fee for it, and I've never met anyone that looks and acts like that, so this '1 in 88' means something really wrong is going on here."

This is also the reason so many of us hear things like, "Well you don't look Autistic to me."

NOT enough mainstream reporting and public education about the reality of Autism is happening. Not enough people realize that MOST Autistics they meet, they will meet and never even know they have Autism, and that that is what accounts for such a high statistic as 1 in 88, not Classic Autism, or the more severe stereotypes of AS and other ASD's.

In short, not enough main stream interviews are being done with real Autistics who don't appear in the interviews to be a whole lot different from anybody else, because that's just to damned boring, doesn't "fit" even the reporter's biased views of Autism, doesn't do much for ratings, and could even spark cries of "See! I TOLD you so! There is nothing wrong with a lot of these people! I TOLD you it's just a big fraudulent conspiracy!"


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03 Apr 2012, 12:58 pm

I just ignore that Autism Awareness stuff. I'm living on my own and I'm doing well.


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03 Apr 2012, 3:12 pm

Yeah, I know it. It makes me feel bad about myself when people keep talking about how terrible and inconvenient I am. Even my mom randomly got mad at me the other day, saying that "Autism is nothing to celebrate" and that it has brought her "nothing but pain and horror." It's very upsetting, and it's confusing because she used to enjoy my differences.

I don't need to be told by the media how horrible I am and how hard it is for everyone to take care of me; I already know. I'm trying to make it easier for people, but it's not all that easy for me. I'm sure you can relate.

Yes, it's Every Parent's Worst Nightmare to have an Autistic kid! Oohhhh, no! It's sooo scary for the PARENT! But as many of us have said before, Autism wouldn't be a disability if everyone were autistic. We're just living in a world that's not suited to our needs. Oh, no, it's IMPOSSIBLE for people to relate to us! Well, maybe if they would let us talk about our interests, or if they would actually tell us what we're doing wrong, or if they would trust us to know our own feelings, it would be easier. I'm tired of people trying to tell me how I feel. I'm tired of people telling me I'm worthless, that I'm a burden to society. If people would just ease up and let us do our best, we could give back to them.



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03 Apr 2012, 3:23 pm

I agree with the other posters here completely I would also like to add :P for the day in question. :lol: I have had to put up with relatives treating me like damaged goods all my life. They often treat me like my problems are my fault, too--as though I could behave normal all the time if I wanted too, so I must be acting unacceptably on purpose. Naturally, if I am doing it on purpose then I am being a jerk. Then they get ticked off when I choose not to attend most family functions. Who in their right minds would want to attend functions staffed by people who resent you and think you are a bit of a jerk? That's like having perfect teeth, but choosing to go have an unneeded root canal without anesthesia. DUH!

All this Awareness Day stuff does seem geared more for the other family members, and not the actual Auties and Aspies.


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03 Apr 2012, 3:41 pm

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Last edited by nat4200 on 21 Apr 2012, 2:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

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03 Apr 2012, 4:51 pm

Thanks everyone it's good to get it out because most of the people I talk to are either parents or 'know someone' with autism/AS so of course they think they are experts, I don't like to tell them that I am AS because I usually get the 'oh but you're very high functioning' so in their mind I'm almost normal and have no right to talk about how hard it is for those with 'low functioning' children. Even though had I been diagnosed as a child I would likely have fallen into the low functioning category, by the time I was diagnosed as an adult I had many years of pretending to be normal. :)



Sweetleaf
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03 Apr 2012, 5:00 pm

For some reason this makes me want to forget about Aspergers Syndrome......why sugar coat it, from now on if my family or anyone wants to talk about me having it the term autism will be used, because its so much more horrifying. :twisted: