Help with a weird situation

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Any help with this would be greatly appreciated. I'm very confused....

A couple of weeks ago, a friend and I went to look at apartments for next school year. Afterward, we had planned to go out to dinner because it was her birthday. But, after we got back from looking at apartments she said to me, "Do you really want to go to dinner? I'm tired and I have to drive back home tonight." (She lives 2 hours away from where we go to college).

Well, I was tired, too, and also had to drive home (again 2 hours on a Friday afternoon through rush hour traffic), so I said, "Well, that's ok. Hope you have a Happy Birthday." (That's not the conversation verbatim, but the gist. I know I said Happy Birthday, though, cuz I was proud of myself for remembering to say it).

Anyway, I found out Friday that she hadn't gone home and had gone to dinner with some mutual friends. So what happened? Was she testing my friendship to see if I really wanted to come? Was she un-inviting me in a roundabout way? Did she just change her mind about dinner after I left? We ended up signing on the apartment so I have to live with her next year. Anyone have any advice??

This is a tough one. Perhaps, it might be best to talk to her before drawing conclusions. I have had my fair share of being taken advantage of. One of the things that keeps bugging me is that it was her birthday, wouldnt she want all her friends there, shouldnt she have called or something with an explanation(thats what i would have done)? I still need some info before going any further. Are you guys moving in together or was the apartment for just one of you? How long have you been friends? Has she ever done anything like this before? As I make it a rule not to make assumptions, is she an NT? How did you find out she went to dinner?
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* Well, I later thought it was weird that she decided to change plans like that on her birthday, but at the time I was just tired/overstimulated by being with someone for too long and wanted to go home.

* We're moving into the apartment together with two other girls. One is a mutual friend and the other is a friend of the girl's.

* Honestly, she is sort of moody and some NT friends sometimes comment that she does immature things. She is NT.

* Some mutual friends were talking about her having had a birthday and coming to town to visit. I commented that she had come to town but canceled the dinner, repeating that she'd said she was tired. Another friend said, no, that they actually had gone to dinner.

ouch. although not certain, it sounds like you got dumped for the time being. Perhaps, she was hanging out with you all day and wanted to hang out with others(rude and immature still). I like to remember this at certain times:
"I dont worry about the past because it exists no longer,
I dont worry about the future because it exists not yet."
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Remember, dont jump to conclusions, these are just my thoughts. Hope i was of help to you.

It sounds like she either changed her mind or she was trying to get you not to go.

You should ask her about it, definitely. I have a friend who has done wierd things similar to this, and usually it's because he only wants to be with a few people (basically, he changes his mind a lot and can be sort of moody). I was annoyed with him about it, so I just asked, and he explained it to me, and later we did something together to make up for it.

Another of my friends has purposely excluded me, before, because she was annoyed with my behavior (I only found out later). It could be the case that you did or said something that offended her, or it's possible she was just being moody that day.

Thanks for the feedback Axelkat. It's actually hard for me to jump to conclusions because I have so many conflicting conclusions in my head, that I can't decide which is right.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I want to talk to her about it, because I don't want to make living together next year more awkward than it's evidently going to be (and I can't pull out because of the non-refundable $325 deposit I've paid) and I don't want our mutual friends to think I'm a jerk.

*sigh* Just another example of how confusing and disheartening life with NT's can be.

and the nts think we're weird eh? probably best to ignore it.
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She can get stuffed. I've had people do that to me, and I'm more distant with them, and don't want to see them as much.

I'd bring it up with her, man. At least then maybe she'd feel bad - she should.

Heh, yeah, fortunately with someone that I'm not very close to, I can just mentally write them off and ignore them. However, unfortunately I do have to atleast be cordial so that life doesn't become hell with her. I don't want my roommates to get together and kick me out of the apartment, forcing me to find new housing in the middle of a semester.

ill have to go with merien on this one as well. These are usually not what they seem. Sometimes, jumping to conclusions is a lot more trouble then it is worth as I have learned the hard way. Besides, we gotta make friends, not enemies.
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