26 Mar 2016, 8:27 am
04 May 2016, 12:36 am
04 May 2016, 12:52 am
Kiprobalhato wrote:
in middle school and earlier on in high school i jumped from group to group, interacting and trying to make some relationships. as i was awkward, they were pretty basic and shallow and rudimentary, but in the process i became rather well known, as in the "saying hi in the hallways" well known and "people knew my name" known, not necessarily liked, i think. i think even now i'd be surprised at how many people were irritated with me and didn't bother to tell. (though i tend to assume the worst regarding those things)
later on i became more secure with how many friends i did legitimately have and stopped being such a butterfly. i no longer speak to anyone from those earlier days, barring one person. about whom the situation is complex and twinkly.
i did tend to go under the radar. people seemed to be surprised at my presence if they noticed it.
later on i became more secure with how many friends i did legitimately have and stopped being such a butterfly. i no longer speak to anyone from those earlier days, barring one person. about whom the situation is complex and twinkly.
i did tend to go under the radar. people seemed to be surprised at my presence if they noticed it.
i'm finding that in college, it is, totally against what i have been told my entire life, not actually easier to connect with people that it was in high school.
i'll blame it on my own laziness and reluctance to take two buses or a bike to the campus to join clubs or groups, but also it is *much* more disconnected. the structure of high school where i saw, more or less the same people every single weekday for often multiple classes over a few years, had its own problems but when i did find someone i got along with, it was easy because we saw each other often.
i suppose what i'm trying to say is that the college is too big and the turnover rate is too "fast" for me, one who takes forever to form bonds.
kraftiekortie wrote:
When I was in high school, I was an outcast even amongst outcasts.
Right now, at age 55, it's really a mixed bag. People tend to be ambivalent about me. It might even depend on the day--they might like me one day, and dislike me the next.
Right now, at age 55, it's really a mixed bag. People tend to be ambivalent about me. It might even depend on the day--they might like me one day, and dislike me the next.
i like you.
04 May 2016, 12:54 am
04 May 2016, 12:16 pm
Lillikoi
Veteran
Joined: 22 Jul 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 11,797
Location: The Mid-West-East-South.
04 May 2016, 12:23 pm
05 May 2016, 2:19 am
05 May 2016, 11:01 am
05 May 2016, 11:07 am
14 May 2016, 8:37 pm
16 May 2016, 12:34 am
^ you're visible to me, because i know exactly how that feels. 
16 May 2016, 6:18 pm
Kiprobalhato wrote:
^ you're visible to me, because i know exactly how that feels.
16 May 2016, 6:39 pm
17 May 2016, 12:57 am
17 May 2016, 3:05 pm
18 May 2016, 2:49 am
i see. 
most of my friends have been older than me. the final year at any school i attended thus was usually the loneliest.
in JR high i found myself eating lunch my myself in the grimy stairwell leading to the boiler room.
