Late diagnosis

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I had thought for some years I had traits because many of my family have traits or full blown ASD and we have talked about how we all find people hard to fathom or comment on how we all struggle with things others don't. Also my son has a diagnosis and I finally decided in my 50's F*** it, let's find out once and for all if I do or don't have ASD to discover I didn't just have traits but enough for a definite diagnosis of Asperger.

The after effects of this was to make me reflect on lots of past events, and why I struggled with things that others found easy. For instance I taught for a time in mainstream schools and was eaten alive (couldn't manage all the demands and the kids seemed to know it). Now I work in health, funnily enough often 'spotting' ASD in clients and getting them referred (curious irony) but do find some of the demands and organisational stuff around time managing hard to keep up with. All my colleagues know it, but haven't discovered why.

When it was confirmed although relieved in some ways, I went through denial and sadness and some anger which caused my son to say what is so wrong with being ASD and I had to smarten up and realise I wasn't being honest if I have been saying to him that it is OK to be who he is if being the same seemed so wrong for me and confusing him. That stopped me in my spiral. I then realised what I was really doing was regretting not knowing sooner, then I wouldn't have put myself under so much pressure in jobs I was just not suited to with my personality (which isn't to say others can't do them) and doing things I hated just because it was expected.

Now I wonder whether to tell colleagues or just leave it and just be aware of my difficulties and try to work within them. Getting an answer does make things better, I can look back and see things from a different viewpoint and see I wasn't just an odd kid who never felt like he fitted in and was so afraid of everything, but there were reasons I was like this. Better late than never.

Sorry, if this reply rambles and perhaps doesn't answer your question, but I suppose I just want to say - maybe it will turn out to be a positive thing even if just at present it seems a problem and there is nothing wrong in recognising something defining about yourself.

I was just recently diagnosed with Aspergers at 36. I oddly had the opposite reaction. It was a great relief to me that what I was feeling my whole life wasn't just of my own invention and that there are others like me out there. I have always struggled with jobs, relationships, sensory issues and now I finally have the correct toolbox in front of me to take on tasks.

I started reading immediately. That helped a lot. It gave words and terms with definitions to what I have always had a hard time expressing. If you want some books that were recommended to me I would be happy to pass along the info.

I'm 52 and currently among the "self diagnosed" (I don't have the means to get a diagnosis, nor is there anyone near enough qualified to diagnose an adult woman, nor any services available to help resulting from the diagnosis).

I found the realization that Aspergers ( or HFA, but as far as I know, I started talking on time) is the root problem behind my social anxiety and depressions to be a two-edged sword:

good:
* this suggests a whole new arsenal of tools, including weighted blankets, identifying my stims and using them as needed.
* validation that things were actually much harder for me than those around me -- it wasn't my imagination nor am I a lazy crybaby for thinking such things.

bad:
* the challenges I've fought so hard to hide are "worse" than I realized
* the realization that I haven't been able to successfully hide them much as much as I thought.
* a certainty that anything social will likely continue to be a challenge

_________________
If it don't come easy . . . .
. . . .hack it until it works right

Aspie score: 142/200 NT score: 64/200
AQ Score: 42
BAP: 109 aloof, 94 rigid and 85 pragmatic

Hi all,

Has anyone had trouble getting your psychologist to even test you in order to get an official yes/no for aspergers? I've been asking my psychologist for over a month now - the first visit he said if I really wanted it, he would do that. Second visit - I went through EMDR and he insisted I listen to a meditation CD. Third visit - I asked again, and he refused. He simply said that it wouldn't be useful, and I should just learn to accept myself as I am. He even gave me another CD to listen to on self-acceptance. He even explicitly stated he didn't believe I had it since I had childhood trauma, that obviously meant my low emotional intelligence stems from that. He sees no reason to attempt a diagnosis. This has left me upset and angry. I'm not sure if I want to go back. I do, however, want to be tested - to know once and for all. I'm more than certain I do have it, but I want to feel that relief at being validated.

The other avenue now is to pay a lot more money to see a private pschiatrist - money I don't have.... I'm not sure what else to do. Can I 'make' him test me?

Thanks!