Late diagnosis

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Hi,
i was recently diagnosed at age 44 as having Aspergers in Cambridge, England.

Since then I feel that my professional career is over, and have become very down about everything.

Anyone else the same?

Thanks.

A lot of aspies, including myself, tend to be resilient in this area. I'm a nurse (which I despise), but my special interests fluctuate. I go from writing screenplays to writing & producing music to writing short stories, etc. They're al artistic. I could see you moving from golf to something else. That's the aspie way. Our resiliency is endless. In a few months you might find you've become an expert at Scrabble. Or you may take a shine to horse racing. Or suddenly discover rock tumbling, snorkeling, or ballroom dancing. You might reignite that childhood interest in mountain climbing, acting, bicycling, rock climbing, guitar playing, camping or stamp & coin collecting. A year from now you could have an award winning home brewery in your kitchen. You never know.

What is so different about your life as opposed to a year ago or five or ten or more ago? You are still the same person, so what's the big problem here? It is quite interesting, and indeed rather suspect, that you have been diagnosed in Cambridge. I read a book last year on the subject of empathy and, if my memory is correct,the author was Simon Baron- Cohen , the director of the Autism Research Center at CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY ! !! !! !! !! !!
So, of course you would be diagnosed with that, while if you were in Siberia or Afganistan or Rome or Rio de Janiero, or Kansas, or just pick any other place in the world outside elite, liberal Western (as in civilization) academic circles, you would be described in much different ways. Why don't you just ignore what the psychologists are telling you and just go on with your life, You made it this far, so just go the distance.

I was diagnosed at age 56, and I have a successful career in a professional area.

Being an Aspie doesn't mean that you are broken. There is at least one Nobel laureate who is a diagnosed Aspie (Vernon L Smith, won the Nobel Prize for Economics in 2002, went on TV with his wife to discuss his AS diagnosis in 2005). There are quite a few other Aspies with very successful professional careers, including some of my relatives.

It is a common experience (not universal, but quite frequent) to experience depression and negative feelings about yourself after getting an adult diagnosis. Your are trying to rewrite your self concept and work through a load of negative social attitudes towards "disability" and "disorders" (the whole "tragedy/pity" view of disability, which is wrongheaded). Having Asperger's means that you have a range of strengths and weaknesses. It does not mean you are doomed to failure. If you are using your strengths, and compensating for your weaknesses, then you can expect to achieve much in your professional career.

Asperger himself wrote that people with this condition could make significant contributions to society.

I am a lot more positive about my AS condition now than I was soon after I was diagnosed. It takes time to get used to the "new you", who is really just the "old you" with a bit more self-knowledge. I know a blind woman who travels overseas and teaches people in other countries. She has a very productive life and doesn't think blindness stops her from doing all this.

There are some good books around about Asperger's and employment which point out the strengths that an Aspie brings to their career. It may be good to read some of these books and think about how those strengths have helped you in your professional career to date.

I've also heared of this being described as:
Mourning for the (NT) life you thought you had or were striving towards.
And:
Mourning for the time wasted while failing at things you may have avoided or tackled differently if you'd been diagnosed earlier.

If it is mourning, mourning is a process. It should have an end when one'll feel better

I don't see what there is to get upset about. It's not like you were just diagnosed with leprosy and will now be carted off to a colony somewhere with other people who have the disease so that you can await your turn to die. No, instead, you now have a label for some of your issues in life and can start figuring out how to improve yourself.

I myself do not have a professional diagnosis but even with that being said I find it liberating to know that I am not the only person who experiences these things. Here, I have found a place where other oddballs can converse and share their experiences and solutions to dealing with a world that never quite understands them. Give me a professional diagnosis and I will actually be happy.

In the end then, you're still the same person you always were, with the same capacity for love and affection. The same people that cared about you before still care about you now. That's what's important.

Hello,

Thanks for your reply..but why is it suspect? No you are completely wrong that I would be diagnosed with it because I am in Cambridge.
I went to the CLASS clinic and I was seen by a psychiatrist that can perform the assessment over 3 hours, she had to call my mother as well to ask about my childhood, apart from questionnaires that we also filled out, School reports were observed.

I scored almost full points on every the DSM-IV 1994 criteria for AS

I scored 16 out of a possible 18 criteria in the AAA

It's very offensive that you think it's suspect...Cambridge has possible the best clinic in the world, and Yes Baron-Cohen is the Director, but to imply that it's fixed is disgusting, and you should maybe not take part in my discussion if you have such a negative and paranoid attitude.

I wish I had had the help I needed as a child, then my life wouldn't have been such a mess.........happy now???

Point of information @davidgolfpro and cavendish. The convention on internet forums is to write posts underneath quotations, not above them.

Hi David,

I guess how you feel about the diagnosis might depend on what led up to it.

I was diagnosed around this time last year at age 38. I had suspected for several years that I had an ASD because the work I do involves supporting many high functioning people with an ASD and to be honest I could see little difference between them and me. I was successful at my job but around September 2010 things started falling apart for me after several changes in a short space of time at work - I simply couldn't deal with so many changes so quickly, and all my coping strategies fell apart as my anxieties increased to a level that started significantly affecting every aspect of my life.

That was what led me to seeking a diagnosis - so I would know for sure what the cause of my difficulties was. Initially I was relieved and happy to have the diagnosis - a confirmation of what I had suspected for several years and an explanation for so many things in my life up to that point.

But unfortunately having a diagnosis didn't magically make everything better - I still struggled personally at work, though I still did an exemplary job. The pressure of doing this without my previous coping skills, however, led to me being signed off work with stress for 4 months.

I thought my career was over. But it turns out my workplace was very supportive and I have had the help of a very good occupational health doctor to help get appropriate adjustments in place and make sure things don't get on top of me too much. I'm now back working my full hours, although I do some of them at home rather than in the workplace. I am hoping to gradually work up to doing them all in the workplace as I have a lot of anxiety about working at home (it feels like I'm not doing my job "properly" because I'm not in my workplace). I have disclosed my ASD to my immediate team at work and they have been supportive in that they recognise I am still the same person but need time to build new coping skills.

I started my return to work in January, so it's been a long haul. Things haven't been easy - during this time my anxieties at times have completely spiralled out of control and I have tried to kill myself a few times as a result. I am trying to learn to recognise what is happening so I don't reach that point but unfortunately for me I am really not good at recognising my emotions until they crush me. I have also been diagnosed with Emotional Dysregulation Disorder which either comes directly from the ASD itself or from Borderline Personality Disorder trigger by the trauma of living with an undiagnosed ASD during my childhood/teenage years. The cause doesn't matter much - the treatment/support is the same: I have been referred for specialist psychotherapy. Of course this being the NHS there is a 6 month waiting list ... I'm about 2 months in.

I had a second assessment recently and the person who was assessing me confirmed my ASD diagnosis and said that he had never seen anyone who "ticked so many boxes" who hadn't been diagnosed until they were an adult. As a result of this second assessment it has been recommended that I receive weekly support sessions with a member of staff from the local autistic society. Of course, funding for this has to come from the social work department, and I have a meeting with them on Friday in relation to this. No idea if it will be approved or not.

I don't really know if this has any relevance to how you are feeling. I just wanted to tell you how things have been for me since diagnosis. It's not all plain sailing, but I *think* things are coming together now.

I was a little angry that this hadn't been picked up sooner but I think I have let that go now. It's in the past and the diagnosis gives me a stronger footing to move forward.

To address the original post.

First off I wanted to say I agree with so much of the above comments.

Ok, so I'm 40, female and have recently decided to seek a diagnostic asssessment, I honestly don't know how I'll feel once I do (or do not) get this.

I have however been diagnosed with a rare physical condition that if not managed properly can be quite disabling (had symptons of condition for around 20 years, known what it is for about 8) .

My initial reaction was one of relief, but over time as I have had to actively manage the condition there have been times its led to frustration, depression and also grief for the life I could have if I did not have it - it is physically limiting only but does make having a professional career more challenging/difficult though not impossible.

What has been extremely helpful has been that now I understand what the triggers of the condiition I can manage it much better, I was also able to connect with a specialist forum nd find out all sorts of ways to handle it better and this helped a lot.

In the last couple of years I have been able to get a referral to a clinical psychologist to talk through the frustrations and difficulties I have in managing this condition. This has included discussion of psychological traits I have that both help and hinder me in handling this condition. This has helped me a lot. I have got this via a GP referral through the NHS.

I know that tallk therapy is not for everyone, and I've read here, and would also say from personal experience you need to find the right person with the right skills.

If you're currently struggling you might possibly find it helpful to talk this through with a professional who understands AS.

If you haven't got someone you already see and if you think this might help you, can you talk to GP about this? they might be able to help.

Whatever you decide I wish you well, and from my experience of WP so far there are many supportive and friendly voices here.

[edited for unwanted smilie...]

Hello,
We are not oddballs thanks and I feel you have no right making comments here, as you have not been diagnosed as having AS.

It could well be something else that you have, as the diagnosis involves your parents or someone who knew you well as a child.

I feel you feel it's fashionable to have AS and I do not like that!

Good luck.

I was diagnosed last year at 41, although my professional career was over in 2003, with a brief bit of activity in 2007.

Learning that I was autistic was actually a fairly positive experience for me, mostly because it gave me a context in which to frame a lot of the difficulties I've had throughout my lifetime, and enabled me to stop obsessing over the past and how I should have done things differently.

davidgolfpro

I just wanted to quickly apologise in advance in case I have offended you at all.

My post crossed with your earlier reply and had I realised you would find the term oddball offensive I wouldn't have included the quote with it in, in my reply to you. I should have thought more carefully about including this and apologise for doing so if it caused any further offense.

I also hadn't realised you just wanted to hear back from people who've had a diagnosis, I hope some of post I made above was still useful to you, but if it's not because I am not talking about AS but a different condition please ignore it.

Hi,

Apology accepted.

Thanks for that.

I want to add that this thread has actually been rather insightful for me - as someone who was diagnosed with high functioning autism as a young child (I recently got re-evaluated and they say I'm like the mid to lower functioning end of HFA - first time I've had any help or evaluation in over 12 years) I have had great difficulty understanding what it's like to be diagnosed at a later age - especially compared to you, being diagnosed at an age that I have not come close to reaching yet, being only 23. I've had great problems understanding the difficulties that come with it.

When I was diagnosed I was too young to understand what it meant - I was between the ages of 4-6 during this stage - them trying to figure out why I was the way I was. Far too young to understand at all what it meant. I thought it was perfectly normal, and ok, and fine, and nothing wrong with it, being diagnosed with HFA - I didn't even think it was uncommon, and I didn't even realize that nobody knew what I was talking about when I mentioned I had it. It took me many years (until I was in high school, and university, and even now... and for all I know, there's more to come) to realize what it all meant. I still feel there's nothing wrong with it - I am now as I always have been - and there is nothing I can do about my neurological makeup - same for everyone NT or AS or HFA or LFA or anything under the sun.

There is nothing wrong with being diagnosed with any ASD - maybe you don't feel the same, but at least now you have a diagnosis - that is better than not ever getting one - even if it is a self diagnosis. Now you can seek help, therapies, etc., to help you function better. Now you know why you're different. It's a step, I suppose.

I hope my post was helpful. I'm trying to show you the perspective of someone who has had an ASD diagnosis for most of their life - at least my perspective.

Have you heard the expression that you can go to ten doctors, and they will give ten different diagnoses? Same here. There probably is something else wrong, or at least different about you. I remember reading an article in People Magazine about twenty years ago. A prize winning female journalist in her thirties went to a psychiatrist in or near Cleveland, Ohio ( USA). He said that she had issues. Who doesn't in some way or another. She had something else, of course, - a brain tumor. Fortunately, she got another opinion, and survived.
I read a book thirty years ago which listed many examples of how psychiatrists misdiagnose people, who turn out to have real legitimate physcial problems, brain tumors just being one of them. The psychiatrist you saw may be a neighbor of Baron- Cohen, go to the same gym, yoga class, country club, or went to a seminar by him, didn't take the time to delve deeper into the subject, and started giving diagnoses just to be trendy.
I don't care how well you scored on any questionaire. I read recently that one out of every four Americans has high blood pressure. If they adjusted the parameters, it could easily be one of every two, or merely one out of a hundred. Same with diabetes, cholesterol, or a lot of other conditons which generate a lot of research opportunites, grants, money, power, and status for the medical and psychological professions. This guy Baron - Cohen doesn't impress me one bit, and I will tell you why this evening or tomorrow.