Do people reject or downplay your diagnosis?

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Yup. Because obviously, you cannot be autistic if you can talk. Autistic people are all totally incapable of communication or taking care of themselves, and they are all obviously disabled and can't do anything worthwhile, ever. Autistic people are walking tragedies. Because I am not, I cannot be autistic.



Yes, I've really had somebody use that on me.

I don't tell people about my AS.

My favorite quote was from my best friend. When I first told him I thought I had Asperger's he asked what it was. I told him it was a highly functional form of autism. His response? "Oh, definitely! When I first met you it was like you were from a different planet!". I almost had to laugh as that is typically what people on the spectrum say they feel like they are. Plus... Wrong Planet? By the way, his son is autistic spectrum (either Asperger's or HFA, according to 2 experts) and he says that his son is very similar to how he remembers me being when we first met 15 or 16 years ago. Likewise, my "best friend" when I was in my last two years of high school always used to accuse me of being autistic. He was not very nice about it and so I never looked into it further.

As far as the self diagnosis thing goes, it isn't something I am certain of, but it seems to make sense for me. I usually make certain to identify myself on here as self diagnosed any time I feel it is critical to providing accurate information for someone else. Plus, I have it in my signature for anyone who would question the type of diagnosis I have. I feel I can call myself an aspie on here and it not be a problem, but I would prefer a formal diagnosis one day so that I can settle the matter.

Can completely relate. Everything I say to my parents about what I struggle with they reply with: "but EVERYONE feels like that to some extent". I guess I was naive to think a Dx would lead to understanding and support and not a list of things I could/should be doing in order to "get over it". I don't think they've extended their knowledge of AS past the leaflet that came in the post months ago.

Mine was from a nephew, who asked if I'd been buying my underwear at K-mart lately (a reference to "Rain Man" in case you're wondering). I LOL'ed. It's sad but true: the only things that some people think they know about autism came out of a Hollywood movie script.

My DH and I cannot find anyone to diagnose us, we keep getting contact info from people who are sending us on wild goose chases, and they are all dead ends. And no, no one really believes us, and no one that we know is being supportive at all. It doesn't help that we cannot find a professional to evaluate us. We have a one year old son, and now his doctor is saying that he too is showing signs of Autism, and the people that we know are rejecting that as well on the basis of "he's acting normal" or "babies all develop at different rates" or "it's way too early to see signs", etc. They honestly think that they know better than his parents and his doctor. This is difficult enough, the leas that our friends and family could do is not try to invalidate our experiences.

I tend to downplay it myself a lot, and none of my "friends" or anyone I've met since I left home knows I was diagnosed with AS, I have gone to great lengths to conceal it, whether they recognise that I'm different at all I couldn't say.
I find that my family often use AS as a reason for why I'm good at some things, though I suspect this is because they know I hate it. When I get something wrong or I get confused by what someone's said, it's ALWAYS because I have AS.. never because they're simply not explaining something clearly. But if I say something they don't like or genuinely do slip up saying the wrong thing or similar, far from using AS as an excuse, I'm simply a b*tch and it has nothing to do with AS at all and I probably don't even have it. I find they use the AS diagnosis a lot to their own advantage whether it's downplaying it, or using it against me.
Though, possibly spending so much time pretending to be the same as everyone else people forget I'm a bit different?

Yes, always.

Yes, a coming-out would be worthwhile only if you could rightly expect some more empathy and some extra slack. I don't count my workplace as such, only my friends (two) and a good acquaintance know about my dx, aside from my immediate family.

I also suspect my father is on the spectrum, and for him accepting my dx is more difficult than for my mother (rigid thinking?). I put the book from Tony Attwood 'Asperger's Syndrome: A guide for parents and professionals' in my father's hand, and as he read it, he started to believe.

Naturally, they don't.
Same things happen when I tell them about some of my past-"It's impossible" "you're lying" "there are no families like that" "there are no schools like that" etc etc. It seems that some people have this annoying habit of relying on their experience a little bit too much, but I think there is no helping it and it's a little thing to get mad about.

I'm actually pretty amazed this has never happened to me; I'm pretty indistinguishable from an NT until you get to know me, and even then according to my friends it's just "he has a slightly different way of socializing". I really don't understand how this skepticism is so common yet never applied to me.

I've had varied reactions. My favorite being when I told my mother; she denied it and then listed a bunch of aspie traits I have as reasons I couldn't be autistic. Oops. Now she's learned more, she agrees.

I've had people be supportive without suddenly thinking I'm ret*d. I've had friends I've known for decades disbelieve me. One guy who only knew me from an online forum said "You're clearly a functional person. You just have a few quirks." I still don't know how he thinks he knows how functional I am.

Hahahaha!

I'm happy to see we have a sense of humor about ourselves, as shown by so many hysterically funny comments.

What makes me not so happy is the level of shame, self-doubt, and fear that pervades our very existence. Granted, it's no one's business as to whether or not I am neuro-typically challenged, and my making it others' business may be a heavier load than they can bear--which can be unfair, now that I think about it, so expecting others to understand is perhaps a pipe dream being lived in my little utopian world.

On the other hand, I am sick of the idea that I should feel ashamed because I was born with brain chemistry that differs from the "norm." I just can no longer stand the thought that I should somehow be made to feel embarrassed or that I should always be able to hide my norms or always be able to fit in with others' expectations.

Besides, realistically, I can only do so much....hahaha!

People get annoyed when I do something autistic but they prefer to see my quirks as a part of my personality rather than a disorder. They just kind of sigh and go, "Oh, that's Esperanza. "

I don't really talk about it or tell people about it. They judge me for spacing out when I'm overstimulated, being socially awkward, etc., but I know they wouldn't cut me any slack if I explained that I'm autistic. They'd just count me telling them I'm autistic as another Esperanza-ism. "Oh, that Esperanza- always coming up with weird stuff and being awkward."

(By the way, people actually do that "Esperanza-ism" thing with my real name.)

People are ridiculous. At least I know that those who knew me when I was a young child are aware that I am different. Heck, my parents saw all kinds of professionals trying to figure out what was wrong with me. People don't generally do that when they think their kid is normal. And yet, the diagnosis is laughed off.

My sister thinks it's a fake diagnosis or that I am doing it for attention.
I am the last person who wants any sort of attention.
She also blames it on me playing video games and spending my weekends in the library when I was younger.
It hurts but some people are just ignorant.

Spending weekends in the library, huh? Wow, how horribly pathological! Why, if everybody spent their weekends at the library, people might actually know things! The horror!!



Don't believe the "doing it for attention" deal. People do occasionally do things for attention, but if it's something as desperate as faking a neurological disorder, they usually have serious problems in their lives to begin with--meaning that they actually need the attention they're trying to get, and people have been downplaying and ignoring their distress for a long time. (With the obvious exception of a malingerer who fakes illness to, for example, get out of military service--I am assuming that this is quite rare where autism is concerned, what with the difficulty of diagnosis and the necessity for a life-long history.)

I can't even hate the people who really *are* faking AS for attention (I've never met one, but I guess a few of them are out there)... you have to be in a lot of trouble before you resort to that.

Anyway, the "doing it for attention" thing is just a way of dismissing your experiences, perhaps because they believe you will get more than your share of help if you're diagnosed autistic, or because they are threatened by the idea that autism can be subtle--that disability is not always obvious, so that they can't divide the world into clear categories of me-the-non-disabled and you-the-disabled, and thus can't keep the (to them fearful) idea of disability away. People like having neat little ideas of what it means to be disabled--that the disabled are some obviously impaired group far away from the main body of society, rather than, as it really is, everyone being potentially (and inevitably, if you live long enough) part of that group.

When they make accusations about our wanting attention, they don't think of how desperate somebody has to be to actually try something like that. If they thought of that, and honestly believed you were faking it, they would realize you needed help and if they cared even a little try to help you. Maybe they'd be misguided, but at least they'd understand that you had a real problem.

I would conclude that they really haven't thought much about your experiences--that they haven't thought enough about it, anyway, to have the basis for a true opinion of whether you are faking or not. And that means that their statement that you are "doing it for the attention" can be safely ignored--it isn't an accusation based on logic.