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patrickmoler
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06 Aug 2012, 2:25 am

I'm curiuos to know if any of you use self-deprecating humor as a social buffer. It seems to work well enough for me. When I'm wearing a lil' thin I just make a joke about how i'm obnoxious, a know it all, socially awkward, etc. Then the person just laughs acts like "oh he's actually very witty and charming"

On the down side some people seem to think I have low self esteem because of it......Though those people are often very ignorant and shallow minded.


So what are your guys' thoughts on this technique?



thewhitrbbit
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06 Aug 2012, 10:25 am

It's good to be able to poke fun at yourself.



Delphiki
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06 Aug 2012, 11:11 am

At work I sometimes make jokes about how i am skinny such as "I am so macho". I am stronger than I look and the people I work with know that so the self deprecating humor works well.


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06 Aug 2012, 1:21 pm

All the time, almost to the point where it probably makes people feel uncomfortable. My favorite is when I pass by a crying child and their eyes light up and a smile appears on their face without exception. If I know the parents at all, I'll always tell them how the child must think when looking at me "you know what? On second thought, my life isn't so bad after all!". I frequently poke fun at my lack of success with women, lack of social life and my obsessions but I'm not doing it due to lack of self-confidence, rather it's the only way I can successfully deal with my awkwardness in a social setting.



anneurysm
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07 Aug 2012, 2:54 pm

I'm a huge fan of this kind of humour. It helps me feel confident and helps me realize that everyone has flaws...and the people who I get along with the most tend to use it. Maybe it's why I feel so comfortable with them.


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OlivG
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08 Aug 2012, 2:35 am

I used to do this. Later I realized when using self-deprecating humor, many times the people would laugh AT you instead of your jokes. It ruptures your social value and makes you a clown. People don't respect that. Even if they enjoyed your humor and wanted you to be in their company, it's often so that they could make fun at your expense.



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08 Aug 2012, 2:59 am

I actually am quite self-deprecating inside my head, but I've learned that it can be a bad idea to express it, since it can make me seem weak. There is a certain way of using self-deprecating humour that actually makes you seem strong rather than weak, but it is hard to get the hang of.



Cfroi
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08 Aug 2012, 5:03 am

There is sometime I usually joke on myself as "junior" or "internship worker" in front of my junior colleagues. They usually laughed. And this relieved a lot of the awkward or quiet moment.

However, I know I look so immature than my actual age. And actually I hate how I look because I am quite unattractive in the way I look, which is stupid and naive.

I always thought this is a way to imply ideas like: "hey, even I look naive, I am a very humble guy and potentially got hidden wisdom".


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treblecake
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08 Aug 2012, 9:36 am

Self deprecating humour is really the only humour I can pull off. Even when I'm making a normal joke I usually stuff it up and the joke becomes about the way I said the joke rather than the joke itself. I feel more comfortable around my friends now that I can express my flaws in a positive light.


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knowbody15
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08 Aug 2012, 7:54 pm

Self deprecating is my bread and butter social buffer. Humor in general, as I'm now realizing, is how I've compensated for social weirdness. I'm all jokes until I get really comfortable.

But with self deprecating, you gotta make sure your jokes don't make you look like you're not confident. They should humble you, but not beat you down.

Funny enough, some of my jokes are really dry and the self deprecation is nearly hidden. Very subtle. I wonder if people even get that I'm ultimately making fun of myself, which might make those jokes backfire....I dont know....



daydreamer84
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09 Aug 2012, 9:20 pm

I have self-deprecating humor but that's mostly just because I suck.



OliveOilMom
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09 Aug 2012, 9:45 pm

I do it sometimes, but not very well ;-)


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09 Aug 2012, 10:02 pm

I use it but the big problem I had with it is that people didn't know I was joking. They believed the negative things I said about myself; if I joked that I was retorted; they'd start treating me like I was & if I joked that I was crazy they would become afraid of me


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09 Aug 2012, 10:24 pm

nick007 wrote:
I use it but the big problem I had with it is that people didn't know I was joking. They believed the negative things I said about myself; if I joked that I was retorted; they'd start treating me like I was & if I joked that I was crazy they would become afraid of me


Joke that you are Batman.


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Colinn
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09 Aug 2012, 10:26 pm

I find self deprecating humor to be quite refreshing to see sometimes as they recognize they have flaws, but they are OK with it. Makes for a nice change of style compared to your typical egomaniacs that think they are perfect. I wouldn't do it too often unless its with close friends as it can show signs of weakness which could make certain people have a lack of respect for you.



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10 Aug 2012, 2:30 pm

I agree with others here who said you have to be very careful how you do it or it can make you lose people's respect.


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