Get too tired(physically) after talking to people .

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Fiz
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12 Aug 2012, 1:44 pm

It depends on how I'm feeling and what the conversation is about. I was actually discussing this with one of my friends on Friday night and we both agreed that small talk is always hard work and therefore drains energy. When people ask each other what they are doing for the weekend as an example, others manage to naturally produce an answer whereas I feel like I need to prepare one as it just doesn't come naturally. This tires me. However, if I am actually having an actual discussion about something that I can give an opinion on or one where I am learning something from it, I find this a lot less exhausting as there are times where I can either give an unstructured opinion or just listen.


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chris5000
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12 Aug 2012, 1:55 pm

if its more than a few hours it is extremely exhausting not like having to sleep exhausting but something else. It does not go away unless I get some time alone.



lostgirl1986
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12 Aug 2012, 3:03 pm

Yep, a good example of this would be family get-togethers like Christmas or Thanksgiving. I'm usually done for by the time I get home. I also get really tired if I'm working or after something that causes me to be really nervous and/or stressed.



Somberlain
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12 Aug 2012, 7:48 pm

I feel exhaustion but I can endure if the conditions are tolerable. However, I feel strong urgency to be alone and return to my interests during the process. Also there is no way for me to socialize more than 3 times a week (including meetings with my girlfriend).

If it becomes compulsory to talk to people consecutively due to certain conditions:
-I start to stare. (People warn me)
-I start to question the reality in my mind. (I cannot describe the exact feeling with words, I think this is the closest one)
-I raise my eyebrows and my eyes get wide open. (Once I saw my own face in a window reflection)
-"What am I doing here" comes to my mind.
-I feel depressed.
-I often find an excuse and return to my haven.


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12 Aug 2012, 8:05 pm

It is very draining and tiring for me as well. This is why I discovered a bit too late that although I love art and I love kids, being a teacher in a classroom full time is unrealistic for me. I could do it but I would be so zombie-tired at the end of the day that I would be unable to have a life that includes balanced meals, a clean home, or any other interactions with other people.

I had an ex bf who was very disppointed in me for being unable to socialize after work or other activities, he said that I should just do it anyway because you have to spend time with your family. He completely didn't understand that to "just do it anyway" would wreck my health, physically and also mentally and emotionally.

I think that it is reasonable to set healthy boundaries for yourself regarding how much time to give to others, you are the person who knows what you need, and honoring that is being healthy.


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conundrum
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12 Aug 2012, 10:36 pm

I work at Walmart. Part-time, mind you.

I fall asleep as soon as I get home.

I've kept asking myself "what's wrong with me?", then I came across this thread, which reminded me that this is NORMAL in AS.

Thanks, guys. :)


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loner1984
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12 Aug 2012, 11:03 pm

Welcome to the club.

Its pretty normal from what i gather.

When my brain gets tired, i have everything from heavy headache, to feeling like ive been drinking aka hangover, to being dizzy.

One of the reasons im on disability pension. If my mind is tired it needs to rest aka sleep and it can take sometimes 12-14 hours..

If my brain gets tired and its all meltdown, im not a nice person to be around thats for sure. It would be someone scratching nails on chalkboard. not a nice feeling.


I wonder if what i have is like animals, i would imagine that animals they freeze and listen and hear every noise, in their case that is a benefit, not so much for us humans anymore. i if its something like that i got. hearing all sounds and then overloading mind, ofcourse it wouldn be very beneficial for animals to have a meltdown lol that would be easy prey.



tjr1243
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12 Aug 2012, 11:19 pm

i'm currently in this situation. i'm so drained i could scream....at least my head sometimes feels like it is ready to explode from the stress of interacting.



Warsie
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13 Aug 2012, 12:07 am

I remember someone on here describing a "social battery" which is drained from contact with people.


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ThinkingMonkey
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13 Aug 2012, 9:07 am

Fiz wrote:
It depends on how I'm feeling and what the conversation is about. I was actually discussing this with one of my friends on Friday night and we both agreed that small talk is always hard work and therefore drains energy. When people ask each other what they are doing for the weekend as an example, others manage to naturally produce an answer whereas I feel like I need to prepare one as it just doesn't come naturally. This tires me. However, if I am actually having an actual discussion about something that I can give an opinion on or one where I am learning something from it, I find this a lot less exhausting as there are times where I can either give an unstructured opinion or just listen.


Yes, I agree. by that I mean small talk does drain more energy. And I cannot for some reason have small talk. And yes if I can learn a thing or two while in a conversation, this drains less energy. But, if the discussion is about a topic I like, then I actually feel refreshed.



ThinkingMonkey
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13 Aug 2012, 9:09 am

chris5000 wrote:
if its more than a few hours it is extremely exhausting not like having to sleep exhausting but something else. It does not go away unless I get some time alone.


The sleeping thing does not happen to me often. Only when I am reluctantly participating in a conversation. Usually it's like you said some hours of alone time researching about things I like/interested in refreshes me.



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13 Aug 2012, 9:13 am

Somberlain wrote:
I feel exhaustion but I can endure if the conditions are tolerable. However, I feel strong urgency to be alone and return to my interests during the process. Also there is no way for me to socialize more than 3 times a week (including meetings with my girlfriend).

If it becomes compulsory to talk to people consecutively due to certain conditions:
-I start to stare. (People warn me)
-I start to question the reality in my mind. (I cannot describe the exact feeling with words, I think this is the closest one)
-I raise my eyebrows and my eyes get wide open. (Once I saw my own face in a window reflection)
-"What am I doing here" comes to my mind.
-I feel depressed.
-I often find an excuse and return to my haven.


I have done the staring.
Somberlain wrote:
I start to question the reality in my mind. (I cannot describe the exact feeling with words, I think this is the closest one)
-"What am I doing here" comes to my mind.


This is spot on. It's usually after this that I state some reason and get the hell out of there.



ThinkingMonkey
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13 Aug 2012, 9:16 am

glasstoria wrote:
I think that it is reasonable to set healthy boundaries for yourself regarding how much time to give to others, you are the person who knows what you need, and honoring that is being healthy.


Yes I agree.. This is what I have been doing from some time. When I first started setting boundaries, I had completely stopped talking to the only 2 of my friends who were close to me then. 6 months down the lane one of the came down to my house unannounced and started yelling at me.



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13 Aug 2012, 9:17 am

conundrum wrote:
I work at Walmart. Part-time, mind you.

I fall asleep as soon as I get home.

I've kept asking myself "what's wrong with me?", then I came across this thread, which reminded me that this is NORMAL in AS.

Thanks, guys. :)

Good to know the thread helped. :)



ThinkingMonkey
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13 Aug 2012, 9:22 am

loner1984 wrote:
If my brain gets tired and its all meltdown, im not a nice person to be around thats for sure. It would be someone scratching nails on chalkboard. not a nice feeling.


This reminds me of many situations. One situation where a friend of my did not attend a college she had gotten into for some reason(not exactly a legitimate reason)(which I do not remember now). After a certain amount of time into the conversation, I was exhausted. And the college topic came up. I was very rude ( paraphrasing : was very direct in telling her that what she did was very wrong indeed ). So, now, I try to remain as silent as possible and get the hell out of there when I start feeling mentally tired. I have gotten the phrase 'you are mean' directed at me many a times.



Last edited by ThinkingMonkey on 13 Aug 2012, 9:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

ThinkingMonkey
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13 Aug 2012, 9:25 am

Warsie wrote:
I remember someone on here describing a "social battery" which is drained from contact with people.


Nice term : "social battery".