Is asking for a number still the way to go?

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While I was writing a reply to a thread the other day I found myself thinking about a certain female acquaintance and how we havent really interacted in real life(met once at a beach with a huge group of people,I talked to those I knew because I didnt want to bother her, found a friend request from her as I arrived home) yet we have gotten to know each other online.


A comment on an update leads to looking at the other person´s profile/ a PM followup about the update because you obviously dont want to spam the other person´s wall, you know how it goes


Thing is:
I keep seeing many of my friends asking for phone numbers and being turned down/whatever because a lot of people find them to be a little too personal and what if things go wrong(we all hear stories about people being harassed by repeated missed calls....) so I was wondering if you thought that phone number is still the way to go or you think that things are changing.

it depends, do you need/ want her number ? You already have a means to contact her. You might want if you choose to meet up with her so you can contact each other if anything that mess up your plans.

I think the best way to handle it is to suggest something fun that (subtext) you are already doing, involves little commitment, is public/semi public, she can bring her friends to as a safety net. Although a lot of these things go against Aspie nature. it's important she feel safe and not trapped literary or by pre-committing to something.

A good example would be "There's a free concert in the part, me and some friends are coming, you should come."
Here reply might be "Sounds fun, I might check it out"

Note, you didn't directly ask her out, she never committed to anything, you seem like a cool person doing cool things, if she doesn't go you're still a cool person doing cool things, no direct rejection. She can pop in without being caught with someone that makes her uncomfortable (I'm sure you aren't, that's what she's checking).

It's becoming more acceptable to communicate via Facebook at times. What I would do is talk via Facebook for a little bit then mention an event or something and as part of that you can get her number.

I disagree.

Asking for her Facebook is not a good idea. If you are considering dating her, a phone number is a really personal form of contact. Being 1 of her 500 Facebook friends doesn't really personalize or specialize your interaction in anyway. It just makes you another facebook buddy in a sea of hundreds of strangers.

You should ask for a woman's number, but ONLY if you feel the conversation has gone very well and she's interested.

I've considered leaving a business card with my email and cell number. If curiosity wins, the person will track me down on the web. Obviously, use proper judgement.

i'd actually be more likely to give my FB information as opposed to my phone number. that way the contact is less intrusive.

when i was younger and a man would ask for my number (pre-internet), i would say no and asked for their number instead. that gave me the power of choice as to whether there would be any contact.

there was only one time i ever called, and it was mostly out of curiosity because the guy was extremely pushy to get some action rightnowthisminute. his girlfriend answered the phone.

Months ago, there was a girl who gave me her FB after dozens of messages on okc and stopped replying altogether on okc and never interacted with me on FB (never replies on chat while she's online nor to personal info), she had like 1000 friends.

So after days of total no-reply (yet she was active there) I sent her something like: "I added you so I can know you better, not to be a mere +1 to your 1000-collection of FB friends. You have one week to reply me otherwise i see no use to keep you as FB friend"

She gave me her phone# on the same day and met her up later.