Do people see you as an insensitive, rude & cold person?

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midnightfrost88
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08 Dec 2014, 12:37 am

I don't think so. When people first meet me, they think I'm shy and polite.



darkphantomx1
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13 Feb 2015, 5:30 pm

When people first meet me, they think, what the hell is wrong with this kid?!



Raleigh
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13 Feb 2015, 8:21 pm

How do you know how people see you? Do you ask them? Or do you mean how you think people see you?
People might not see you the same way you see yourself.


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14 Feb 2015, 11:20 am

Quote:
Do People See You As An Insensitive, Rude & Cold Person?
At one time yes on all three. To be more socially acceptable, I've learned to be pseudo-sensitive and at least less rude. Can't do much about the cold thing, though.


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16 Feb 2015, 9:01 pm

I'm not really sure what people think, but I think I can come across as being kind of blunt sometimes.


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syzygyish
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08 Mar 2015, 7:45 am

Raleigh wrote:
How do you know how people see you? Do you ask them? Or do you mean how you think people see you?
People might not see you the same way you see yourself.


That's a really brilliant reply! :)

I think about myself as being honest genuine sincere self deprecating and stupid :(

but I know that when Neurotypicals see me they just see an oddity to be put in the corner
and ignored
or crucified


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08 Mar 2015, 10:24 am

I hope not, but not sure.


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darkphantomx1
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08 Mar 2015, 11:36 am

A lot of people I know with Aspergers come off as rude and cold. Like my co-worker for instance. Most of the other co-workers don't like him. This is just an example of what this guy does. When someone plays a joke on him, then he gets super annoyed and yells at the person and calls them stupid. And he isn't friendly to other people and never tries to talk to them. He has Aspergers written all over him but most untrained neurotypicals simply just think he's an anti-social as*hole.

So yea if you have Aspergers and this sounds a lot like you and you wonder all the time why people don't like you, this is why. Sometimes you have to 'go along' with what other people are doing. You have to conform yet still hold true to your values.



darkphantomx1
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08 Mar 2015, 11:53 am

There was also this one kid I knew from high school who I knew had Aspergers, lets just call him Jimmy. Let's just say his cognitive levels were good, social skills level not so good...

Basically I had to do a walking fitness class for a couple of days to make up some of my points for gym class. And he was in that class. He'd always wear his headphones and keep his head down and when anyone tried to talk to him he would just say go away. And on the track, he always wanted to be first. He never wanted anyone ahead of him at all and he would yell at people who walked ahead of him. Like my first day there I was jogging and he said STOP and tried to stop me because I was unaware he always wanted to be first. So a couple of days later some girls thought it would be funny to walk past him and as they were walking side by side, he kicked the girls. And the dude I was walking with said he wanted to "beat that kid up so badly"

Of course that kid was only a sophmore at the time but had the social skills of a 6 year old. Heres a life lesson to all of you, don't kick people or tell them to go away. When someone is talking to you, you pretend you give a s**t about them.



Zajie
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08 Mar 2015, 2:24 pm

I get called emotionless by people



Silas 112
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10 Mar 2015, 5:05 pm

Insensitive? Yes, all the time, but it's almost always by accident. Rude? Sometimes, but mostly in family related stuff. Cold? My brother keeps saying that I "don't have feelings for other people", but he's the only person I remember telling me that. (He has some anger issues)



Wolfram87
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17 May 2015, 12:10 pm

While the MBTI-assessment has been critizied for dubious scientific rigor, I find that the INTJ personality type has many aspects that I believe to be very applicable to aspies (then again, I'm an INTJ, and not all aspies are, so that might be my bias).

http://thomaslauer.com/start/How_to_handle_an_INTJ

" 21. Do not expect INTJs to care very much about how you view them. They already know that many people see them as arrogant bastards with a weird sense of humour and they long since got used to it."

That being said, I'm normally polite and respectful, and only people I'm relaxed around see my arrogant streak, and I do try to have a sense of humour about that, as well.


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