How old was your kid when you knew?

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My son was 15 months old when I suspected it. After he was DX I had his twin evaluated. I was surprised when he was also DX. (at 20 months)

I always knew she was different from very early on, like 6 months. She was such hard work even then. Now I have another little girl I can compare and I know even more how different she was and still is. She is now nearly 5.

Course when other people knew is a different story! Too me a long time to convince her Dad and his family but things are workign out now we have a diagnosis

I have been thinking about this for awhile. It makes me feel guilty sometimes as I thought I knew a lot about autism compared to most of the general public. When my son wasn't talking at age 2, I thought that there might be something wrong. I looked for all the signs of autism, but he did things like point, had decent eye contact and seemed an easy and relatively laid back child to me. He did receive early childhood intervention for speech, but had "caught up" by the time he was three after less than a year of speech therapy. Besides everyone kept saying how smart he was. The daycare he was in was a converted house, so there were classes, but it also was like a home in many ways. And the director loved children and would work with almost any child no matter the concern. He would take my son to his office every morning during the drop off times, because the coming and going of all the parents bothered him. He made it seem like no big deal. When he changed pre-schools at age 4, they had a lot of problems with his behavior, mainly that he cried all the time over every little thing, and seemed to want everything his way. (Really, it was more that they didn't stick to a schedule and it confused him, and if he imagined something being a certain way, he thought it was supposed to be that way like a rule, but I didn't understand that at the time). In kindergarten, again the teacher commented on the same problems, crying and seeming to want things his way, poor social skills. She also reported he had so many traits of GT like you see in the training books that he would be the first child she recommended for GT in kindergarten. She said she usually waited to see how they handled first grade. In kindergarten, he didn't know all his letters or the sounds, only some shapes, although he was really good with numbers. However, when the teacher was giving the test, he asked why, and she explained that she was testing him on all the information he needed to go to first grade. At the mid-term evaluation, he achieved an almost perfect score. Over Christmas break, he asked who his first grade teacher would be. He had assumed since he knew all the information that he would be going to first grade after Christmas. These behavior concerns continued up through 4th grade. My husband kept trying to get me to seek more help, but he did so well at home and the teachers made it all seem not so bad. Then in 4th grade, the principal suggested we test him to see if he qualified for special education for his anxiety b/c she was concerned he would be sent to the alternative school for classroom disruption in the intermediate school. This is when I finally began researching and put together that it could be AS. The school's assessment indicated some spectrum problems, but he did not qualify for services under autism. Rather he qualified for Emotional Disturbance because of his anxiety. I had to seek a diagnosis from private testing. I think the school still looks at me like I am crazy for getting the diagnosis. Many don't seem to agree. They keep making comments that tell me they just don't get it. Anyway, I feel guilty for not seeing AS in my own son until he was 10 years old even though I work in the mental health field. I was educated and I should have known.

Actually I forgot to mention the strange thing which was when I was 4, I could read like a 7 year old.
Then at 6, I could read newspapers.
I wouldn't remember what any of the stories was about though but you sort of knew I was reading because there were probably some words which were deemed almost impossible, especially for a 6 year old. This was all mainstream school by the way.
I never really was able to speak or walk or crawl at the "normal stages", took some time to actually do so...
At 2 or 3 I actually spelt my name to the teacher for some work which surprised her that she literally came to my mama and told her about it because in all those years of teaching, she never experienced a child who could spell out their name at that age.

I thought something was off when he didn't smile on time, but I knew it could have been just a fluke. At 9 months I strongly suspected, he wouldn't look at me when I spoke, never reacted to people's facial expressions, hummed constantly and would spin everything. I felt silly because everyone says 9 months is too young to tell. At 12 months, when all those famous red flags were there, I knew. He didn't wave, didn't understand any words at all, didn't attempt any kind of imitation, hardly displayed any emotion, and was still humming and spinning and not reacting much to people. The doctor didn't take me seriously because he was able to make my son smile by playing with keys. While instinctively I knew, people weren't taking me seriously, so part of me was trying to tell myself maybe I was wrong. Then at 15 months the professionals started mentioning joint attention as well and as of that day I had no doubts anymore.
So while it took me time to be absolutely sure, I suspected by the time he was 3 months old, was very concerned at 9 months, asked for an evaluation at 12 months, and was absolutely convinced by 15 months.

I should add that no one believed me for a long time, everyone kept telling me he would catch up. "so and so only spoke at 4 and now he's completely normal", and many similar statements. Now my parents and boyfriend realize I was right, but my boyfriends side of the family still likes to say things like " he doesn't act like the people I know with Autism", or "but kids with Autism usually don't learn well". While my son may know all his numbers and letters at 2 years old, he still doesn't know how to wave goodbye or smile when someone smiles at him, he doesn't say any words or even attempt to. I've also been told "well if he doesn't have a cognitive impairment doesn't that mean he doesn't have Autism?" Many people are very ignorant about Autism, it is such a pain.

When my child was 5 1/2, at the end of his day-long assessment. The psychologist who was part of the team making the assessment told me she expected based on what she had seen, that when the analysis of all the results was complete and written up in a report a month later, it would provide an Asperger's diagnosis. Shee took the time to then discuss my questions and doubts about this right then, enough to convince me she was right.

Until then, I would have said there was nothing wrong with him. Actually, I still would. But he does have Asperger's and I am happy that we discovered this so early into his school career, giving us lots of time to learn and prepare for the looming middle and high school years...

He was my first, though, so I did not have any particular expectations with respect to use of gestures and affect, and I also tend to take an experimental/pragmatic approach to parenting (that is, I try different things and stick with what works rather than adhering to a consistent principle). I remember in my first, anxious reading of whatever "Parenting Aspies"-type manual I found in my local boosktore after becoming convinced of his diagnosis, that some tips and tricks for avoiding meltdowns, managing transitions, etc. beinbg suggested were already in my toolkit. It just never occured to me pre-DX that other parents did not need to use 'em.

I knew he was different than other babies around 8 months, mentioned it to his pediatrician at his 11 month mark, and he was diagnosed with PPD-NOS by age 2 and started speech therapy and developmental work at 2 1/2.

I've always called my son my mini-me - he and I instinctively understand each other. We read situations in the same way, we react to certain stimuli the same way... he was a little bit too much like me to be neurotypical. Starting preschool in a regular classroom setting confirmed it - he was kicked out of his first school, a constant "behavior problem" at his second... so we went back to his pediatrician and the school board.

Hello everyone! I am so glad to have found this forum, I appreciate reading about your experiences I have one child, a 6 month old son, and I have no idea what to expect because he is my first and I have little experience with babies. I have aspie traits and my husband is NT. Everyone is always telling us that our son seems so happy, that they have never seen such a laid back, content baby before. So we're often told that our son is unusual in this way, but he generally makes good eye contact and does babble. Starting at 2 months he would repeat sounds we would make, but lately he has stopped repeating sounds and just babbles randomly. He learned one word at 4.5 months, which is hungry. He will consistently say hungry either when he wants food, or during a meal. He's also started to respond to his name. That's fairly early to understand words, so I do wonder if that could be considered an early sign? I guess time will tell.

But I didn't admit it until this past year. I already suspected that it was possible because my son's father has aspergers -- so I hoped amongst all hopes that he WOULD NOT be like that. I just didn't want to admit it because that meant that I'd have to admit to many other things:

1. My poor boy was going to most likely go through a whole lifetime of hardships that just weren't fair. WHY him? WHY my kid?
2. I'd have to try to explain it to family/friends/teachers -- Let's face it, some people just don't GET it. They either think you're lying or "taking it too seriously". Because my son is "functional" and very intelligent people assume that he can reason like everyone else can. They don't understand that he sees things in black and white --- in a literal sense. They don't get that he's extremely sensitive to certain things, like textured clothing and loud noises and sudden changes in routine. I HATE trying to explain it to people. They think I'm just making excuses for him, but these issues are REAL for him. *sigh*
3. I have to admit that my son is going to grow up to be just like his dad, meltdowns and all. I'm afraid that if I screw up as a mother in preparing him for the rest of his life, he'll never be able to cope with life.

Admitting it was more about my own feelings rather than those of what my son would have to deal with. But yeah -- I knew long before I accepted that I knew.

With my son, he's 5, he's always been ahead with talking, vocabulary, walking, his fine motor skills seems pretty awesome from my point of view. He holds a pencil like an adult, he can spot the smallest of objects, he often finds little "treasures" whenever we're walking around. His memory is awesome as well.

He was a good baby, never had that many tantrums. He's a sweet kid, a thoughtful kid, very articulate, but he can get uneasy in situations where there is a lot of stimulation, sometimes thinks people are laughing at him in public situations, and he always, always has something in his hand, something he carries around. But it changes all the time.

He definitely has autism on my side of the family, he seems like a normal kid who's bright. It would be easy to not see certain signs as he gets older, and I dont want him to slip through the cracks, but I also dont want to assume that he's anything but a normal kid. I'm thinking he's probably like me, somewhere high up on the spectrum, maybe he wouldn't even be diagnosed.....

What ages do certain traits manifest, and can you have a seemingly normal toddler/adolescent, only to have certain traits come up later?

My son also followed the path of not speaking at age 2, then rapidly developing an extensive vocabulary. Up until about 2 1/2, he could only say "ma" and "da". However, by the time he was four, he was using these words (I was so surprised that I wrote a list) - hilarious, disappeared, concentrate, ridiculous, distracted, frustrated, glorious, fantastic, precious, complicated, adjustment, ingredients.

Other than that, I also noticed from about age 1 that he didn't "play" with his toys. He would only sort them, line them up, throw them or break them. He is 7 now, and he still does not hug his stuffed animals or make up stories with his action figures. In fact, I am thinking about getting rid of a lot of his toys because he never plays with them and I suspect he never will. He does really love video games, so I try to get him to play the more educational ones. At the moment he is into "Civilization 3".
edit - he also really loves Legos.