Delayed emotional reaction
I know I do this and I hate it! It's as if I'm stunned 'deer in the headlights' when encountered with "aggressive people" etc (or just downright asininity). Frustrating. I know others (neurotypicals) are comparably much better are dealing with issues as they arise.
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The ones who say “You can’t” and “You won’t” are probably the ones scared that you will. - Unknown
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,476
Location: Long Island, New York
I have been criticized for not bieng emotional enough when something traumatic happens and when my delayed emotion kicks in for not bieng over it. No I am first getting into it.
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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
It is Autism Acceptance Month
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
Me too
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The ones who say “You can’t” and “You won’t” are probably the ones scared that you will. - Unknown
I often experience initial strong emotional reactions as being something nebulous and undefinable, a sort of "swirly" feeling. This can be practically anything big, positive or negative. It may take hours or days for the emotions to resolve into something I can understand, almost as though they are some sort of tangled knot I have to unsnarl. My wife sometimes asks me how I'm feeling, and I honestly say, "I don't know." At first she thought I was not willing to tell her, but I really was being honest. A positive feeling may just emerge on its own ("oh, I guess I am relieved about this") but a negative feeling may get triggered by something else, possibly something minor. So I may be upset about getting into trouble at work, but not start feeling angry or crying until I get upset by something else, like watching something on TV.
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Diagnosed Bipolar II in 2012, Autism spectrum disorder (moderate) & ADHD in 2015.
lelia
Veteran
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Age: 71
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,897
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC
This is true for me. It seems like the only emotion I can feel on time is anger which is not a good thing.
I feel this way a lot and what I do about it is I don't even bother because then it will look like I am just trying to pick a fight and trying to argue and I don't want to give that impression to anyone.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
I usually don't freeze but I have the delayed emotional reactions. It also has a good side as it makes me a lot more efficient and reliable in a crisis situation - in my case no emotions equal no panic.
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"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." Aldous Huxley
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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
inmydreams
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 17 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 56
Location: Nr Oxford, UK
I was looking to see if other people with aspergers give the wrong emotional response to the one they later feel. I can't stay in a relationship because if someone is unreasonable in my mind I get really logical and frustrated. At the most distressed but seem angry. What I know I'm supposed to do is cry but I dont.
I cry if someone dies (I sobbed a lot over Leonard Cohen) and AFTER my partner just left me but while he was leaving I kept thinking "he's being really unreasonable" and appeared really cold towards the situation apparently. A little while after he'd walked out of the door, the tears came but it was too late.
I do this every time and he's very sensitive and quite unreasonably so, so I upset him a lot with my reactions. In the early days, before I got more confident with him I would just shut down and he could manage that. He would think about what he'd done and apologise and be tender with me but now he runs off like a frightened rabbit when he was the one to hurt me in the first place...
Does anyone have any advice about controlling a need to correct people if they're inaccurate and to give myself a chance to just feel hurt instead?!
inmydreams
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 17 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 56
Location: Nr Oxford, UK
I was looking to see if other people with aspergers give the wrong emotional response to the one they later feel. I can't stay in a relationship because if someone is unreasonable in my mind I get really logical and frustrated. At the most distressed but seem angry. What I know I'm supposed to do is cry but I dont.
I cry if someone dies (I sobbed a lot over Leonard Cohen) and AFTER my partner just left me but while he was leaving I kept thinking "he's being really unreasonable" and appeared really cold towards the situation apparently. A little while after he'd walked out of the door, the tears came but it was too late.
I do this every time and he's very sensitive and quite unreasonably so, so I upset him a lot with my reactions. In the early days, before I got more confident with him I would just shut down and he could manage that. He would think about what he'd done and apologise and be tender with me but now he runs off like a frightened rabbit when he was the one to hurt me in the first place...
Does anyone have any advice about controlling a need to correct people if they're inaccurate and to give myself a chance to just feel hurt instead?!
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