Page 1 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

underwater
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Sep 2015
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,904
Location: Hibernating

11 Oct 2015, 2:29 pm

I have loadsa that. It's very useful in a dangerous situation, but the aftermath can be difficult. I once had an accident where I could have died, but got off with only a few scratches. The emotional reaction only came two days later when I went to work, and everyone was very annoyed with me for being a drama queen. That stuff is difficult to deal with.

Also, I had to learn to consciously stand up for myself without waiting for the emotional reaction. This means I sometimes come across as too confrontational, but honestly, I'd rather scare off some random people than have bullies walk all over me.



LabPet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,389
Location: Canada

11 Oct 2015, 2:34 pm

Domisoldo wrote:
Could that be related to Asperger? Confronted with things that should provoke a strong emotional reaction, like dealing with aggressive people, emergency situations, accidents, even the death of a loved one... I usually don't react right away. I mean, I do what's needed to be done on the spot, but I will feel the blow hours later... Sometimes a day or two later... Is this common?


I know I do this and I hate it! It's as if I'm stunned 'deer in the headlights' when encountered with "aggressive people" etc (or just downright asininity). Frustrating. I know others (neurotypicals) are comparably much better are dealing with issues as they arise.


_________________
The ones who say “You can’t” and “You won’t” are probably the ones scared that you will. - Unknown


ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,242
Location: Long Island, New York

11 Oct 2015, 8:42 pm

I have been criticized for not bieng emotional enough when something traumatic happens and when my delayed emotion kicks in for not bieng over it. No I am first getting into it.


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


LabPet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,389
Location: Canada

11 Oct 2015, 9:10 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
I have been criticized for not bieng emotional enough when something traumatic happens and when my delayed emotion kicks in for not bieng over it. No I am first getting into it.


Me too


_________________
The ones who say “You can’t” and “You won’t” are probably the ones scared that you will. - Unknown


GodzillaWoman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2014
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 742
Location: MD, USA

11 Oct 2015, 9:15 pm

I often experience initial strong emotional reactions as being something nebulous and undefinable, a sort of "swirly" feeling. This can be practically anything big, positive or negative. It may take hours or days for the emotions to resolve into something I can understand, almost as though they are some sort of tangled knot I have to unsnarl. My wife sometimes asks me how I'm feeling, and I honestly say, "I don't know." At first she thought I was not willing to tell her, but I really was being honest. A positive feeling may just emerge on its own ("oh, I guess I am relieved about this") but a negative feeling may get triggered by something else, possibly something minor. So I may be upset about getting into trouble at work, but not start feeling angry or crying until I get upset by something else, like watching something on TV.


_________________
Diagnosed Bipolar II in 2012, Autism spectrum disorder (moderate) & ADHD in 2015.


dianthus
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,138

11 Oct 2015, 9:39 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
I have been criticized for not bieng emotional enough when something traumatic happens and when my delayed emotion kicks in for not bieng over it. No I am first getting into it.


Same for me.



lelia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Age: 71
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,897
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC

07 Nov 2016, 11:29 am

This is true for me. It seems like the only emotion I can feel on time is anger which is not a good thing.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

07 Nov 2016, 11:31 am

Domisoldo wrote:
Could that be related to Asperger? Confronted with things that should provoke a strong emotional reaction, like dealing with aggressive people, emergency situations, accidents, even the death of a loved one... I usually don't react right away. I mean, I do what's needed to be done on the spot, but I will feel the blow hours later... Sometimes a day or two later... Is this common?



I feel this way a lot and what I do about it is I don't even bother because then it will look like I am just trying to pick a fight and trying to argue and I don't want to give that impression to anyone.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


BenderRodriguez
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,343

07 Nov 2016, 11:46 am

I usually don't freeze but I have the delayed emotional reactions. It also has a good side as it makes me a lot more efficient and reliable in a crisis situation - in my case no emotions equal no panic.


_________________
"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." Aldous Huxley


skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,295
Location: my own little world

07 Nov 2016, 12:42 pm

Domisoldo wrote:
Could that be related to Asperger? Confronted with things that should provoke a strong emotional reaction, like dealing with aggressive people, emergency situations, accidents, even the death of a loved one... I usually don't react right away. I mean, I do what's needed to be done on the spot, but I will feel the blow hours later... Sometimes a day or two later... Is this common?
Yea, that is definitely an Asperger's thing. It's normal for us.


_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph


inmydreams
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 56
Location: Nr Oxford, UK

13 Nov 2016, 2:22 am

I was looking to see if other people with aspergers give the wrong emotional response to the one they later feel. I can't stay in a relationship because if someone is unreasonable in my mind I get really logical and frustrated. At the most distressed but seem angry. What I know I'm supposed to do is cry but I dont.

I cry if someone dies (I sobbed a lot over Leonard Cohen) and AFTER my partner just left me but while he was leaving I kept thinking "he's being really unreasonable" and appeared really cold towards the situation apparently. A little while after he'd walked out of the door, the tears came but it was too late.

I do this every time and he's very sensitive and quite unreasonably so, so I upset him a lot with my reactions. In the early days, before I got more confident with him I would just shut down and he could manage that. He would think about what he'd done and apologise and be tender with me but now he runs off like a frightened rabbit when he was the one to hurt me in the first place...

Does anyone have any advice about controlling a need to correct people if they're inaccurate and to give myself a chance to just feel hurt instead?!



inmydreams
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 56
Location: Nr Oxford, UK

13 Nov 2016, 6:32 am

I was looking to see if other people with aspergers give the wrong emotional response to the one they later feel. I can't stay in a relationship because if someone is unreasonable in my mind I get really logical and frustrated. At the most distressed but seem angry. What I know I'm supposed to do is cry but I dont.

I cry if someone dies (I sobbed a lot over Leonard Cohen) and AFTER my partner just left me but while he was leaving I kept thinking "he's being really unreasonable" and appeared really cold towards the situation apparently. A little while after he'd walked out of the door, the tears came but it was too late.

I do this every time and he's very sensitive and quite unreasonably so, so I upset him a lot with my reactions. In the early days, before I got more confident with him I would just shut down and he could manage that. He would think about what he'd done and apologise and be tender with me but now he runs off like a frightened rabbit when he was the one to hurt me in the first place...

Does anyone have any advice about controlling a need to correct people if they're inaccurate and to give myself a chance to just feel hurt instead?!