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Good Eye contact... can it still be Aspergers??

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lady_katie
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24 Aug 2012, 6:58 am

I know that with myself, I can make eye contact, and I think I do it okay...but it makes me very uncomfortable. Even when I'm making eye contact with my husband during a conversation, something just feels wrong about it. I figured out that I have eye contact issues about 5 years ago (long before knowing about AS), because I was hanging around a NT girl who makes very good eye contact. I asked her if she noticed my lack of eye contact, and she said yes she absolutely noticed it. Since then I've been making an effort to look people in the eyes, but I'm not sure if I do it "right". I usually look them in the eyes, than look away when I can't take it any longer.



whirlingmind
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24 Aug 2012, 10:14 am

I know exactly how you feel. That's it, a really conscious feeling about it, and you kind of feel like you sometimes don't know what to do about it, and you are actually thinking that you don't like it and that you don't know if you're doing it right, and you just feel so uncomfortable that you have to look away. I find it so much harder to do when I am talking myself as well, it's not as bad if the other person is doing the talking, but it's still uncomfortable.


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zemanski
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24 Aug 2012, 1:07 pm

That's it, exactly!

I think NTs feel similar things occasionally but probably fleetingly - when they've got themselves in an awkward situation or made some faux pas perhaps - but for AS people this is far more common and happens in most conversations they try to participate in. For some it can be so uncomfortable due to sensory overload that it can be painful.



Ames76
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24 Aug 2012, 9:55 pm

This is me. I was MADE to make eye contact when I was growing up, so I force myself to do it, but most people look away first.

shrox wrote:
I make too much eye contact. I tend to stare people down without realizing it. I have to remember to look away at least every 30 seconds. It can also be a rather powerful tool though, giving the impression of uber-confidence.



zemanski
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25 Aug 2012, 1:24 am

No person on the spectrum should ever be forced to make eye contact!

Teach what it is, how it works, etc - then people can learn to use it if they feel they want to - but never, ever force anyone to do it, especially not a child who doesn't understand why!



Ames76
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25 Aug 2012, 12:26 pm

I'm 36, when I was a child, there was no name for it and nobody knew or suspected that I was any different. I always knew I was, but anyway...

zemanski wrote:
No person on the spectrum should ever be forced to make eye contact!

Teach what it is, how it works, etc - then people can learn to use it if they feel they want to - but never, ever force anyone to do it, especially not a child who doesn't understand why!