When someone says they like what you are wearing.

Page 1 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

pepperrose
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 57
Location: southern Indiana

03 Sep 2012, 9:12 pm

I'm kinda confused about what you're supposed to say when someone says they like what you are wearing.

Are you supposed to say something about what they are wearing too?

I usually just smile, nod, and quietly say thanks, but I don't know if that could be considered rude or not. I don't want to be rude.

Please help if you can.


P.S. I don't know if this is the right place for this, sorry if it is wrong.



yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

03 Sep 2012, 9:18 pm

I think the social convention is to compliment them back, if you can. I rarely do this though because I think it's ridiculous. As long as you thank them, you are not being rude. Some people might consider it rude to respond with something like "oh this old thing? I was thinking of throwing it out soon actually", because you are sort of insulting their judgement/taste.



Kinme
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,002
Location: Spaghetti

03 Sep 2012, 9:35 pm

That's a good question. I hope someone knows the answer, because I sure don't. Someone told me they liked my pencil bag, and I said "Oh, thanks. I got it from the Canadian side of Niagara Falls for $5.00." I think that was the wrong response. I usually tell people all of the details about where I bought it and how much it was, since I assume that's why they're telling me it's nice in the first place (they also want what I have). How else am I supposed to respond? I can't just stop at "Oh, thanks" and that be it.



pepperrose
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 57
Location: southern Indiana

03 Sep 2012, 10:03 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
I think the social convention is to compliment them back, if you can. I rarely do this though because I think it's ridiculous. As long as you thank them, you are not being rude. Some people might consider it rude to respond with something like "oh this old thing? I was thinking of throwing it out soon actually", because you are sort of insulting their judgement/taste.


Ok. Thanks for the help. :)



starkid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,812
Location: California Bay Area

03 Sep 2012, 10:10 pm

You're expected to say thank you. Trying to compliment the person back could sound fake if there isn't anything you actually like about that person.



Kinme
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,002
Location: Spaghetti

03 Sep 2012, 10:11 pm

starkid wrote:
You're expected to say thank you. Trying to compliment the person back could sound fake if there isn't anything you actually like about that person.


And leave it at that? Or are we supposed to explain where we received said item(s)?



starkid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,812
Location: California Bay Area

03 Sep 2012, 10:15 pm

Kinme wrote:
And leave it at that? Or are we supposed to explain where we received said item(s)?


You could just say the name of the store, or that it was a bargain if you want, but you're not expected to unless the other person asks. Definitely don't go into a lot of detail unless asked. People don't always want one for themselves; sometimes they just think it looks nice on you, or just want to be friendly and start a conversation.



Kinme
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,002
Location: Spaghetti

03 Sep 2012, 10:16 pm

starkid wrote:
Kinme wrote:
And leave it at that? Or are we supposed to explain where we received said item(s)?


You could just say the name of the store, or that it was a bargain if you want, but you're not expected to unless the other person asks. Definitely don't go into a lot of detail unless asked. People don't always want one for themselves; sometimes they just think it looks nice on you, or just want to be friendly and start a conversation.


It's difficult not to ramble on about the item(s) if I have nothing else to say to the person, lol. -.-... I hate smalltalk sometimes.



Tequila
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,897
Location: Lancashire, UK

03 Sep 2012, 10:17 pm

Say "ta very much" or "do you want one"?



Kinme
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Apr 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,002
Location: Spaghetti

03 Sep 2012, 10:18 pm

Tequila wrote:
Say "ta very much" or "do you want one"?


I would just remove it and ask if they wanted mine.



cathylynn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,045
Location: northeast US

03 Sep 2012, 10:19 pm

i always say thanks. if i got a bargain i'd like to share about or if there's an interesting story (made by peruvian alpaca farners), i mention where i got it.



eric76
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,660
Location: In the heart of the dust bowl

03 Sep 2012, 10:49 pm

Kinme wrote:
Tequila wrote:
Say "ta very much" or "do you want one"?


I would just remove it and ask if they wanted mine.


I read once about a very successful car salesman who kept a number of extra shirts in his office. Whenever someone would say something nice about his shirt, he'd take it off and give it to them. I think that he hoped that this would make the recipient of the shirt feel like he owed him something in return and would buy a car from him.



Iloveshoujoai
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jan 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 184

03 Sep 2012, 11:03 pm

No you shouldn't compliment someone in return because they compliment you. Just say thank you. You can compliment them also but no one would expect you too.



OliveOilMom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere

04 Sep 2012, 8:20 am

I say "Oh, thank you!"


_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


Shatbat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,791
Location: Where two great rivers meet

04 Sep 2012, 8:26 am

Yup, thank you sould do the trick. I've been complimented on my choice of garments sometimes, and that's the best I can come up with, unless there is some sort of fun or interesting, for them, story associated to the piece of clothing in question. Then it can help keep the smalltalk going.


_________________
To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day. - Winston Churchill


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

04 Sep 2012, 9:27 am

I just look at what they're admiring and say ''thanks''. You don't have to give them a compliment back if you don't want to.


_________________
Female